You Suck At Parking Business Cards
/You-Suck-At-Parking-Business-Cards-980.jpg "You Suck At Parking Business Cards")
Personally, I think people should be thrown in jail for bad parking. Bad parkers fall into 2 groups... The first, just aren't mentally capable of parking well. And the second just don't give a shit. If jail isn't an option, maybe letting them know about it will help ease your pain some.
/am-i-overthinking-this-47559.jpg?mode=crop "Am I Overthinking This?")
Am I Overthinking This?
If you have to ask, "Am I overthinking this?" the answer is probably yes, but in lieu of people who chastise or roll their eyes at you for it, now you can get a book called Am I Overthinking This? and explore over-answers...
/men-to-avoid-in-art-and-life-47538.jpg?mode=crop "Men to Avoid in Art and Life")
Men to Avoid in Art and Life
Men to Avoid in Art and Life. Welp. At least I'm not featured in any of the art included in Nicole Tersigni's satire on mansplaining. The real-life modern captions she pairs with the classical fine art in her full-color...
/iphone-12-l-46492.jpg?mode=crop "iPhone 12 \"L\"")
iPhone 12 "L"
Apple tripled the iPhone 12's camera, but it took Matt Benedetto to show true genius and double the smartphone's entire design. Meet the iPhone 12 "L", a perfect fusion of two perfect iPhone 12s into an even more perfect...
/butts-on-things-stickers-pins-47081.jpg?mode=crop "Butts on Things Stickers, Pins & Artwork")
Butts on Things Stickers, Pins & Artwork
What's up, Taco Butt? Hey there, TARDASSSS! Yo, yo, I see you've got S'more junk in the trunk. No insult and no judgement with my comments, just a sheer appreciation for your Butts on Things sticker, pin, and artwork...
/my-last-fck-candle-44928.jpg?mode=crop "My Last F*ck Candle")
My Last F*ck Candle
My Last F*ck Candle. Presumably this is the one you'll burn when all of the disasters, the shockers, and the newest pieces of trash to hit social media become too much to process, too much to reconcile. When the only...
/the-gingerbread-kama-sutra-46703.jpg?mode=crop "The Gingerbread Kama Sutra")
The Gingerbread Kama Sutra
Can't sex me, I'm the Gingerbread Man! Oh yeah, Gingie? The Gingerbread Kama Sutra disagrees. Equal parts tasty and sexually adventurous, Patti Paige's cookbook combines her signature recipes for gingerbread and icing...
Anonymously Send Sh*t
If you know a lot of assholes, you know what it's like to deal with their shit. Now, it's time to return the favor. ShitSenders.com enables the shat upon to send steaming piles of Don't get mad, get even to inconsiderate...
/candles-of-the-year-by-46390.jpg?mode=crop "Candles of the Year by Anecdote Candles")
Candles of the Year by Anecdote Candles
The flicker fiends at Anecdote Candles hand-pour all of their candles using a coconut-soy wax blend, except the 2020 Candle of the Year, which they hired God to pour using his special concoction of fire and brimstone...
Cardok Underground Parking
Boy do I hate having to park both the Porsche and the Lambo on the front circle drive. It really detracts from the visual splendor of my gilded front door and Batman topiary. What, a retractable underground parking space...
/the-best-backhanded-gifts-36118.jpg?mode=crop "The Best Backhanded Gifts")
The Best Backhanded Gifts
Another way to think of the best backhanded gifts is the best gifts for people you don't like, only sort of like, have a love / hate relationship with, or have a beef with, but who for whatever reason you still have to...
/world-champion-dck-trophy-39772.jpg?mode=crop "World Champion D*ck Trophy")
World Champion D*ck Trophy
If you've already awarded someone the Golden Douchebag Trophy, here's a World Champion Dick Trophy to hand out to the second (or newest) biggest jerk you know...