You Suck At Parking Business Cards
/You-Suck-At-Parking-Business-Cards-980.jpg "You Suck At Parking Business Cards")
Personally, I think people should be thrown in jail for bad parking. Bad parkers fall into 2 groups... The first, just aren't mentally capable of parking well. And the second just don't give a shit. If jail isn't an option, maybe letting them know about it will help ease your pain some.
/my-last-fck-candle-44928.jpg?mode=crop "My Last F*ck Candle")
My Last F*ck Candle
My Last F*ck Candle. Presumably this is the one you'll burn when all of the disasters, the shockers, and the newest pieces of trash to hit social media become too much to process, too much to reconcile. When the only...
/pet-this-fcking-puppy-44728.jpg?mode=crop "Pet This F*cking Puppy")
Pet This F*cking Puppy
Pet This F*cking Puppy: A Touch-and-Feel Book for Stressed-Out Adults could not have come out at a better time. My cat, Zanzibar, is done with having me home all the time and barely gives me a brush of his tail these...
/what-would-skeletor-do-44772.jpg?mode=crop "What Would Skeletor Do?")
What Would Skeletor Do?
What would Skeletor do? He'd call Diabolical Ways to Master the Universe a fluff piece for flea-bitten fur brains, and tell author Robb Pearlman, "I could write a book about what you don't know!"...
/the-shiit-workout-get-fit-44326.jpg?mode=crop "The SHIIT Workout: Get Fit While You Sh*t")
The SHIIT Workout: Get Fit While You Sh*t
You've heard of HIIT, right? That's High. Intensity. Interval. Training. Well get ready for some next level shit added to your HIIT. And I'm not just talkin' shit. I'm talkin' SHIIT. Your bathroom reader is about to become...
Anonymously Send Sh*t
If you know a lot of assholes, you know what it's like to deal with their shit. Now, it's time to return the favor. ShitSenders.com enables the shat upon to send steaming piles of Don't get mad, get even to inconsiderate...
/the-best-backhanded-gifts-36118.jpg?mode=crop "The Best Backhanded Gifts")
The Best Backhanded Gifts
Another way to think of the best backhanded gifts is the best gifts for people you don't like, only sort of like, have a love / hate relationship with, or have a beef with, but who for whatever reason you still have to...
/world-champion-dck-trophy-39772.jpg?mode=crop "World Champion D*ck Trophy")
World Champion D*ck Trophy
If you've already awarded someone the Golden Douchebag Trophy, here's a World Champion Dick Trophy to hand out to the second (or newest) biggest jerk you know...
Cardok Underground Parking
Boy do I hate having to park both the Porsche and the Lambo on the front circle drive. It really detracts from the visual splendor of my gilded front door and Batman topiary. What, a retractable underground parking space...
/oral-me-thong-underwear-38729.jpg?mode=crop "Oral Me Thong Underwear")
Oral Me Thong Underwear
This isn't the first time a thong has been compared to dental floss. But with the Oral Me thong underwear, ladies might be more inclined to accept, maybe even champion, the connection. Because here it's not about some...
/gazebox-accordion-garage-18577.jpg?mode=crop "GazeBox Retractable Garage")
GazeBox Retractable Garage
One guess as to which country the GazeBox hails from. A glorious transparent arc that accordions around your 6-figure sports car? Protects it in style, with pomp, and without hiding it from jealous eyes? Gotta be Italian...
/offensive-crayons-35033.jpg?mode=crop "Offensive Crayons")
Offensive Crayons
If your favorite pastime is being offended, get ready for hours of fun with Offensive Crayons. And even if you're open to the politically incorrect, unless you're Daniel Tosh politically incorrect, you might wince at...