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Saturday, August 23, 2014
$25.98 from Amazon »

If your 16-year-old daughter is going on a date with some punk kid and he comes to pick her up at your house, is it more or less intimidating to be cleaning your guns with a bullet-shaped gun cleaning kit? On the one hand...

Wednesday, August 20, 2014
$499 from SWASH »

SWASH knows that just because I wear my button-up to happy hour at Rosita's haven of deep-fried Mexican everything, and then dinner at Taste of India doesn't mean it's actually soiled to the point of shelling out for dry...

Thursday, August 14, 2014
$79.95 from Amazon »

My favorite part about using canned air is when whatever chemical reaction is taking place during the process makes the air's canister ice cold. After I'm done shooting all the skin debris and micro-organism poo out of my keyboard I always move stealthily about the office placing the chilled can up against the backs of co-workers' necks. Hearing grown men shriek never gets old....

Sunday, July 22, 2012
$47.90 from Amazon »

The Bug-A-Salt might be the coolest thing invented for killing winged and many-legged pests since clapping your hands together and not coming up empty. Using nothing more than a few granules of regular table salt as its projectile...

Sunday, May 18, 2014
$27.99 from Amazon »

I don't know about the BugZooka's whole catch-and-release design. I mean, yeah, if I caught my senile neighbor's cat Willard in my house again and had a CatZooka that would humanely suck him up into a holding chamber long...

Friday, April 18, 2014
$19.97 from Amazon »

One thing I've never owned is an iron. Not that I'm complaining or consider myself deprived. Owning an iron would probably just make me feel guilty about owning an iron and never using it. I mean, my clothes look great straight out of the clean laundry basket they've been sitting in for 2 weeks. What do I need to bring electricity and heat into the equation for?...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

August 2014 Update: Having received multiple emails from Dude readers noting that they ordered, and paid for, the Super Shaver Soap Saver months ago and have neither never received their product, nor an explanation for the...

Wednesday, September 18, 2013
$6.98 from Amazon »

My immediate impression is that applying BlueMagic Invisible Glove to my hands would feel like covering them in a thin layer of Elmer's Glue. That thought gives me the willies and makes me want to vomit. Maybe the Invisible...

Monday, February 24, 2014
$9.99 from Amazon »

I don't know. Usually if I can't clean something because it's too narrow...or otherwise difficult to de-soil in any way whatsoever...I just throw it away and get a new one. Yeah right, you say? Well...yeah, you are right....

Monday, February 3, 2014
$79.95 from Amazon »

Great. I always tell my mama that as soon as someone makes it so I can just wave a magic wand to get the job done I'll gladly help her clean the house. I never thought a magic wand that cleans the house was a legitimate possibility....

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Friday, January 17, 2014
$299.95 from Amazon »

Sometimes when I look into a bagless vacuum canister filled with dirt and hair I experience a sense of grotesque pleasure. Like, look at that vile mess I made, and hats off to the vacuum that cleaned it up. The Gtech AirRam...

Monday, October 15, 2012

I've been holding out with the Soap Flakes. Hoping that designer Nathalie Staempfli would put the wall-mounted and handheld bar-soap-grinding devices into production and sale before I posted them here. Every day I handle a...

Monday, May 13, 2013
$8.09 from Amazon »

As it turns out, you can give Silly Putty an official-sounding name and use it for more than just making impressions of the lines in your palm and copying print from newspapers. The malleable amoeba that is Cyber Clean presses...

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Your fruit is dirty, but who can be bothered to go through the trouble of washing it off? My dish soap bottle hole is usually so coagulated with soap, I need a knife just to clear it for soap to flow. This genius invention...

Tuesday, October 9, 2012
$17.99 from Amazon »

Here's an anecdote about why Bheestie, a bag lined with ultra-absorbant beads for removing moisture from afflicted electronics measuring less than 9-1/4" high x 6" wide, is a viable commodity in contemporary society. Once...

Thursday, August 11, 2011
$6 from Etsy »

These are really cool and come in all sorts of flavors. They taste great and if you're not too drunk by the end of your shower, you stand a 50/50 shot at getting clean too... although you'll still smell like last night. High...

Friday, September 23, 2011

Need to gain a little weight? Does your apartment smell like a a 4 day old cheeseburger with a side of socks? Enter the buttered popcorn scented air freshener. It's hard enough not to constantly eat popcorn all day, but hang...

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