67

Touchless Toilet Flush Kit

By: on April 27, 2016
$38.99
Check It Out

I'm not a germophobe, but I am incredibly lazy. And a kit that retrofits my standard toilet with a touchless, auto-flush mechanism means no more bending over! No more holding the handle down! No more jiggling it to make sure the water stops running under penalty of girlfriend wrath!

Kohler's Touchless Toilet Flush Kit will turn almost any toilet into the kind that keeps your hands clean and your back in the full upright and locked position. You will have to wave your hand over a sensor to activate the flush, but that's kind of like using a magic wand, and will give you the opportunity to yell banishment proclamations at your pee and poo, so it's OK.

Kohler says the touchless flush kit is easy to install, and takes only 10 to 20 minutes (i.e., half the time you end up sitting on the toilet after eating Taco Bell.) Its sensor device sits inside a small black module that mounts to your toilet tank high above the waterline. A chain then connects a flush actuating wheel to the flush valve, and the sensor projects an electromagnetic field through the lid, plus another 2" to 3 above the toilet. It is this area where you'll wave your hand to activate a flush. (Kohler says they've kept the sensor range tight on purpose to preclude accidental flushes.)

The Touchless Toilet Flush Kit comes with all components needed for installation and use, including the 4 x AA batteries it uses to power the sensor. Each set of batteries should be good for 6 to 12 months of flushes, depending on how many times nature calls in your house. A low battery indicator beeps with each flush when replacement is needed.

Check it out

The Horizontal Shower

In paradise, you take a Horizontal Shower. You lie on a smooth, warm slab of tile as 6 falls of water cascade like mermaid kisses onto your tired and thirsty skin. You choose their intensity and temperature, their pattern...

Check it out

How to Pee with Morning Wood

$13.95 - $60.90 from Zazzle »

A self-help guide to dealing with the enormous issue I face first thing in the morning every single day of my life and it's packaged as whimsical wall art that will add immeasurable character to my bathroom? How to Pee...

Check it out

Sh*t Gold Pills

$425 from CITIZEN:Citizen »

It may still stink, but ingest a couple of these 24K capsules, and your shit will look as handsome as a pile of gold. Tobias Wong and J.A.R.K. (Ju$t Another Rich Kid) created the Gold Pills as part of their INDULGENCE...

Buy Now

PongTu Disposable Sticker Toilet Plunger

$15.98 from Amazon »

To truly get how the PongTu Disposable Sticker Toilet Plunger works, you've got to watch the video. Granted, it's not the best quality, and if you're like me you'll get a little caught up on, How many times is that dude...

Check it out

Anonymously Send Sh*t

Discontinued

If you know a lot of assholes, you know what it's like to deal with their shit. Now, it's time to return the favor. ShitSenders.com enables the shat upon to send steaming piles of Don't get mad, get even to inconsiderate...

Check it out

Stone Forest Natural Bathtub

Stone Forest calls their bathtub "Natural" for its raw design, a rugged just-rolled-down-the-mountain aesthetic, rather than the precision-cut and polished-to-cold-industrial-modernity one we might expect from this type...

Buy Now

The Odorless Toilet Fan

$169.95 from Amazon »

The Odorless Toilet Fan claims to be "the #1 way to eliminate #2 odor." The unit installs inside your toilet tank to inhale all the foul-smelling air your bowel movements produce so you don't have to....

Buy Now

Windi the Gaspasser Gas & Colic Reliever

$14.99 from Amazon »

Windi the Gaspasser is one of those WTF products I as a childless dude saw and immediately thought was, in this order: a funny joke; a disgusting not-joke; a sad reality. You basically stick this little (un)plug in your...

Buy Now

Dude Wipes

$8.83 from Amazon »

Dude Wipes: A Brief Overview of Audience and Application. Dude Wipes are for dudes. And every once in while--say, every 18 to 24 hours--dudes tend to have an especially...explosive...encounter with the bathroom. The kind...

Buy Now

Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers

$12.95 from Amazon »

At printing, Subtle Butt Disposable Gas Neutralizers had 14 reviews on Amazon, and every single one of them contained both a serious critical analysis of the product's smell-quelling efficacy, and an insightful comment...

Check it out

Down There Repair

$15.95 from Sam's Natural »

Application of Sam's Natural Down There Repair fixes two major male discomforts and social embarrassments: chafed crotch and smelly crotch. It can also be used preventatively, thwarting these afflictions from striking...

Check it out

Piqapoo Self-Collecting Poop Bag

$29 - $35 from Piqapoo »

On the one hand, clipping a Piqapoo self-collecting poop bag to your dog's butt exceeds injury cone and Chia Pet costume levels of shaming him. But on the other hand, you've spent the last X years following him around...