Bathroom

Luxury Bamboo Bathtub Caddy

$39.99 from Amazon »

If you're still scrounging around for a Mother's Day gift, here's a bamboo bathtub caddy that will send your mama into a swell of luxury. Luxurious soak, luxurious smooth wood aesthetic, luxurious trashy novel on the...

Touchless Toilet Flush Kit

$49.23 from Amazon »

I'm not a germophobe, but I am incredibly lazy. And a kit that retrofits my standard toilet with a touchless, auto-flush mechanism means no more bending over! No more holding the handle down! No more jiggling it to make...

Aquafaucet Color-Changing Waterfall Tap

$65 from Amazon »

Glistening chrome fountain. Dramatic curved channels. Stunning waterfall cycling through the most brilliant hues of the rainbow. And a mysterious floating orb. Which fantasy novel or video game did this Aquafaucet fixture...

Mikado Aerator Gridded Flow Faucet

If it's the little things in life that make you happy, Neoperl has a pretty cool little thing for you to check out. Their forthcoming Mikado is a faucet aerator that turns water streams into dramatic twisting grids sure...

Sith Happens Darth Vader Toilet Decal

$8 from Amazon »

Sith Happens. Dude, I'll bet it's especially Sithy when Sith happens to Vader and he's gotta take off the entire bottom half of a life support system to relieve himself. I thought I'd experienced the worst of the worst...

Shower Head with Temperature Display

$49.88 from Amazon »

I was eating my way through New York this past weekend and my hotel bathroom had a shower head with a built-in temperature display just like Delta Faucet's Temp2O. So now I know 109 degrees F is my perfect water temperature...

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Wooden Boat Bathtub

Rub-a-dub-dub, I want a wooden boat bathtub. Even more than I want a Hot Tub Tug Boat. Because while the latter may be slightly cooler and more likely to help me win friends and influence people, Unique Wood Design's...

2-Person Black Jacuzzi

Sold Out from Amazon »

I bet my girlfriend will be my Valentine if I get this sick black jacuzzi bathtub. In fact, I bet all of my girlfriend's girlfriends will also be my Valentine if I get it. Six adjustable massage jets. Eight powerful back...

AquaDance Drencher Showerhead

$49.99 from Amazon »

No, I am not showing you the AquaDance Drencher 3-setting 8" curved rainfall showerhead with waterfall mode just because it looks like a vagina....

Darth Vader Handheld Showerhead

$29.99 from Bed Bath & Beyond »

Want to see Darth Vader spew jets of water out of his eyes? You know what you've got to do: use The Force. Something around 70 psi should do the trick. Just make sure to remove any installed water-reducing valves before...

Nebia Atomized Water Showerhead

$299 from Nebia »

Nebia trademarked what they call H2MICRO technology. They say it takes the best parts of a shower and a steam room and sprays it out of overhead and portable wand nozzles in a way that will make you feel like you're in...

H2OVibe Showerhead with Bluetooth Speaker

$37.99 from Amazon »

Sure you can suction cup a waterproof Bluetooth speaker to your tile...and hope that it doesn't dislodge and whack you right in that tender spot on the downslope of your foot at the height of "Raining Blood." Or you can...

Shower Surfer Neoprene Bath Caddy

$29.99 from ShowerSurfer.com »

Know what your shampoo needs? A wetsuit. The Shower Surfer is a neoprene shower and bath caddy that secures implements of hygiene without: 1) falling off your shower head pipe and smashing your foot; 2) rusting; and 3)...

Bath Air Pillow Smartphone Holder

The most relaxing part of any soak in the bubble bath is obviously surfing the web to check out stock performances, responding to accusatory emails from your boss, and going over the Excel spreadsheet of chores your mama...

Curvit Shower Space Expander

$14.31 from Amazon »

Curvit is a clip system that holds shower curtains in a concave position, thereby increasing shower space by up to 50%. It's a simple, inexpensive, and discreet solution that arrives pre-assembled and installs in 3 steps...

Dual Jet Bath Spa

$39.99 from Amazon »

Soothe sore muscles, melt away tension, and (ladies) enjoy some alone time with red wine and powerful jets. Conair's Dual Jet Bath Spa fancifies any bathtub into an underwater den of relaxation and personal gratification....

Han Solo in Carbonite Shower Curtain

$24.99 from ThinkGeek »

Welp, depending on who's in the shower, Han Solo might not mind that he's now stuck in both Carbonite and a shower curtain. I mean, I'm sure he's gotten pretty sick of looking at naked Leia over the past 30 years, but...

UFO Soap Dispensers

Runner up to the Alien Abduction Lamp in the category of Best Application of 1950s Era Extra Terrestrials to Common Household Objects: UFO soap dispensers. Duncan Shotton's design plants a spaceship pump atop a neon yellow...

Neon Illuminated Bathtub

$2,400 from GNR 8 »

If Slimer slimed in a bathtub, it would probably look something like this illuminated Jan Puylaert design. Only, like...slimier. But Puylaert's self-standing tubs with built-in neon lighting systems don't look dirty or...

Waterfall Soap Saver

$5.97 from Amazon »

I like this Waterfall Soap Saver's simple idea for making my Zest last longer, and also for preventing it from getting that slimy Gulf of Mexico catfish skin it always acquires when left to sit in its own wet glycerin-ness....

Horror Novel Toilet Paper

$17.95 from Firebox.com »

Is this toilet paper scarier than shit? Only one way to find out: eat 4 Beef Chalupa Supremes at 10 p.m., and then settle in for The Drop when it...and nature...calls out to you around midnight....

Touch-Free Faucet Adaptor

$47.15 from Amazon »

Given that I chew the ever-loving gobstoppers out of my fingernails, I'm obviously not too concerned about germs. But I am concerned about touching things with Cheetos-crusted hands and getting yelled at by my mama for...

Aqua Notes Waterproof Notepad

$7.56 from Amazon »

I always have great ideas and profound realizations in the shower. The greatest ideas and profound realizations. The only great ideas and profound realizations I ever have. But there's nowhere to write them down. And...

Waterfall & Massage Shower Panel

$274.45 from Amazon »

Ever heard anyone say, It's not the dress, it's the girl in the dress? I feel the same basically goes for showers--it's not the shower, it's the girl in the shower--only with a few exceptions. Like AKDY's shower panel...

Slothzilla Shower Curtain

$39.99 from Amazon »

So...I guess Slothzilla sounded better than King Sloth or Sloth Kong? Or maybe it's creators were just taking a page out of sloth the animal's own book and being lazy about fact checking their re-imaginations of iconic...

Carbon Fiber Toilet Seat

$299.95 from Carbon Fiber Gear »

A gold toilet seat: ostentatious. Indulgent. Ridiculous. A carbon fiber toilet seat: inconspicuous. Practical. Awesome. It's not an extravagance, it's...it's...well, I mean you need a toilet seat, right? And you need...

Dragon Sink Faucet

$58 from Amazon »

I can hardly stand the anticipation. Game of Thrones. Season 4. Less than a week away. I might pee my pants. Hey! Someone turn off that dragon sink faucet! It's not helping my continence! Hey, wait...a dragon sink faucet?...

Sarlacc Toilet Decals

Like most great ideas, Robbie Rane came up with his Toilet Sarlacc decals while hanging out with friends, having a few beers, and talking shit. One guy mentioned dropping the kids off at the pool. Another spoke of ending...

Bathroom Mirror Defogger

$59.99 from Amazon »

Fogged mirrors! I can't groom my facial hair or Dep Gel my head for, like, 8-1/2 minutes after emerging from the shower unless I stand there like an a-hole blowing my mama's hairdryer on it. Towels: do not work. Squeegees:...

Aqueduck Faucet Extender

$9.89 from Amazon »

The Aqueduck. Is it a faucet extender for kids who can't quite reach the fixture, or a faucet extender for men like me who crack their teeth on the spigot each time they try to get a drink after taking a leak in the middle...

Nosferatu Shower Curtain

$73 from Etsy »

The makers of this shower curtain depicting a shadowy Nosferatu ascending the stairs to drain your blood and leave you a dead and dried-out heap of sunken flesh...or maybe turn you into a vampire like himself if you're...

Doctor Who TARDIS Shower Rack

$44.99 from ThinkGeek »

Doctor Who's time-traveling spacecraft TARDIS has a new assignment: hold your soaps, shampoos, razors, and other grooming gear so they don't litter up or fall off the ledges of your shower. Despite the looks of it, the...

Nuclear Glow Soap

United Nuclear's Nuclear Element Glow Soaps will scrub you clean. Clean and genetically modified. Maybe like Spider-Man. Maybe like Sloth from The Goonies....

PPShots Toilet Photo Holder

$7.99 from Amazon »

Ahhh, nothing like the holidays to remind me whose face I'd like to take a giant piss on. PPShots produces Adhesive Photo Protectors--clear toilet sticker designed to house and keep intact photos stuck on the inside of...

Polaroll - Polaroid Toilet Paper Holder

$26.99 from ThinkGeek »

Shake it, shake it. Shake it like a Polaroid picture. Guess what! The next time you have to do that because you get a pesky dingle berry whilst sitting on the toilet, the Polaroll toilet paper holder will be there to...

Iron Man Arc Reactor Soap

$5 from GeekSoap »

Your source of power. Your one chance to defeat the spreading evil of germs, grease, and Cheetos dust. Lesley Karpiuk of Geek Soap custom designed her Iron Man Arc Reactor soap mold, and hand makes each piece in a "sultry...

Black Toilet Paper

Sold Out from Amazon »

This black toilet paper looks like the streamers my mama used to hang up in our kitchen for Halloween or when someone died. I hope the two don't feel similar tidying up my nether regions....

SinuPulse Nasal Irrigation System

$79.95 from Amazon »

In a way the SinuPulse Nasal Irrigation System is just as gross as Nosefrida the Snotsucker nasal aspirator due to their similar purposes in life: extractors of snot. But in a way it's not because the Nosefrida is intended...

Tentacled Shower Head

$1,130 from QS Supplies »

It's like...Kraken meets...car wash. Though Vado's adjustable shower head sculpture is missing the 2 arms that would elevate it to true octo status, 5 minutes behind the curtain flipping and pointing this spraying beast...

One Size Fits All Toilet Seat

If you're elderly, overweight, pregnant, and suffering from irritable bowel syndrome, the Adjustable Advantage Toilet Seat was designed just for you! As a matter of fact, if any single one of the above descriptors applies...

Towel Warmer

$99.99 from Amazon »

Pshhh. I don't need no stinkin' towel warmer. What am I, some kind of frageelay flower of a man who can't take a little cold air against his balls stepping out of the shower? Now I need a heated towel to protect my body...

Heavy Doody #2 Odor Eliminator

$19.99 from Amazon »

Heavy Doody cannot hide the fact that I washed down 3 bowls of Honey Badger BBQ chili with one of those German hefeweizens that tastes like bananas, or that I've been in the bathroom for 18 minutes, or the sounds I am...

Waterpik Showerpik

Sold Out from Amazon »

I just had a childhood flashback. My grandma totally owned and operated one of these hydro-flosser things. But it didn't connect to the shower head like Waterpik's handy Showerpik, it had a reservoir you had to fill...

NightGlow Toilet Seat

$49.99 from NightGlow »

NightGlow Toilet Seats don't just preclude black-of-night stubbed toes and Awww, F me morningtime cleanup requirements, they transform your excretory system's best inorganic buddy into an exhilarating pee-themed arcade!...

Mr. T Strong Man Toilet Paper Holder

$26 from Amazon »

Add a pot-bellied weightlifter to the long and distinguished list of accessories available to facilitate man's wiping of his ass. Mr T heaves overhead a barbell stacked with toilet paper both to inspire us while on the...

Hammock Bathtub

Usually when people describe themselves they inflate the truth or do that reverse psychology trick where they say a bunch of self-deprecating things in an effort to convey the opposite meaning. In both cases they would...

Washmate Portable Bidet in a Bottle

$14.18 from Amazon »

I would have thought this portable bidet would be aimed towards things like hiking, camping, fishing, and hunting, but after reading up on Washmate's water-spouting bottle I see it's aimed predominantly towards things...

Weener Kleener Soap

$8.99 from Amazon »

I don't think that's how you spell "wiener" or "cleaner", but I'm willing to overlook the mistake on account of the fact that my penis has been bugging me for its own soap ever since it got the wrong end of a bar I used...