49

Giveaway: Pair of Grisly Bears

By: on January 26, 2015

Do you hate Valentine's Day but love Halloween? Then how about this twisted twist on the gush fest of lovebirds this year: a blood bath of teddy bears. Click here and enter to win a pair of morbid, gruesome, awesomely creepy Grisly Bears from artist Anya Neuenswander! A $260 value!

This giveaway is open to US residents only.

About Grisly Bears

In describing her Grisly Bears Etsy shop, Anya Neuenswander explains that she creates "hand made, unique horror bears not intended for young children or the easily disturbed." I would agree, with the exception of the easily disturbed who also happen to have cold, black hearts like my ex-girlfriend Karen. She, along with everyone I don't hate who has a sense of humor and does not have a large, thick stick rammed up their...anyway, those people will find themselves the recipients of Grisly Bears this Valentine's Day. You and yours could be too, should you win this pair of one of a kind Grislys designed especially for Dude and our reader giveaway.

Neuenswander's fine displays of blood, guts, and gore are called Mister Smiles and Feral. Can you tell who's who? She says that Smiles, with his jagged teeth and mouth that looks like it just got washed out with O-positive, exudes the profession, "You stole my heart." And I believe her. Partly because he looks dopily in love (though he could just be satiated with leg of human, served rare) and partly because he has a gaping, dripping hole in his chest.

Feral's chest, on the other hand, is reasonably intact. Don't let your eyes fall any lower if you get the queasy easy though. Neuenswander gives this Grisly Bear the motto, "I ate my butterflies." And if by "butterflies" she means "small intestines," then yes. Yes he did. Looks like his mama didn't even have to do "Here comes the airplane" to get him to take them down. It appears he--or maybe it was Mister Smiles--also gnawed off his right arm. I like the added touch of protruding bone.

Pair of Grisly Bears Giveaway Entry Instructions

To register, click here and fill out the Pair of Grisly Bears Giveaway entry form. Or, if you're already a member of DudeIWantThat.com, when the magic entry form button appears, just click it to enter.

Giveaway prize includes: 1 x Mister Smiles Grisly Bear and 1 x Feral Grisly Bear. Retail value is $260.

The Pair of Grisly Bears Giveaway entry period is open through 11:59 p.m. ET on Sunday, February 1, 2015. Our drawn winner will be contacted by email within 48 hours of the entry period's conclusion, and will have 12 hours to respond and claim his/her prize. (Should we not hear back from a drawn winner in the specified time period, a new winner will be drawn and contacted.)

Once a winner is drawn and confirmed, s/he will be announced below.

Provided our first drawn winner responds in allotted time, s/he will receive the prize by Valentine's Day.

This giveaway is open to US residents only.

Get a Grisly Bear Now

While Mister Smiles and Feral are an exclusive creation for a Dude reader, Neuenswander has several other Grisly Bear selections, all "Mutilated with Love", available to everyone in her Etsy shop. Bears range in price from $75 to $150, and in morbidity from Texas Chainsaw Massacre to Saw.

DUDE READER SPECIAL: Neuenswander is extending a Grisly Bear discount to all Dude readers! Purchase any bear priced $100 or more, and receive $35 off by entering the coupon code DUDEIWANTTHAT at checkout!

Grisly Bear Giveaway Winner

Congratulations to Aaricka S. of Bakersfield, CA, winner of the Grisly Bears. Thanks to all entrants, and be sure to check the Dude homepage or Dude Giveaways section for your chance to enter our latest prize drawing.

Dude Giveaway Vendor Participation

Are you an online retailer with a Dudeworthy product you'd like to grace upon our readers? Consider a Dude Giveaway partnership! Click here for details on prerequisites, giveaway procedures, and our contact information.

Check it out

Cute Ass Animals Underwear

$35 - $56 from Etsy »

Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models...

Check it out

Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets

Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...

Buy Now

Feisty Pets Santa Bear

$24.16 from Amazon »

Remember Feisty Pets? The sweet-to-snarling stuffed animals are celebrating the holiday season with a Feisty Santa Bear, the ultimate cuddly teddy who can turn vicious grizzly in the blink of an eye. Or, more accurately...

Check it out

Penis Tuxedo

$29.95 from LELO »

How long has it been since someone said your penis looks "dapper?" For me, the answer is an emphatic "too long." The same goes for "snazzy," "handsome," and "just like Jon Hamm." I can only hope LELO's new TUX, a penis...

Check it out

Anatomical Gummi Bears

$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

This anatomical view of what lies beyond the high fructose corn syrup and Yellow Dye No. 5 of their epidermises paints Gummi Bears in a new light. Gives them some identity. Some humanity. Makes me feel kind of bad for...

Check it out

You Is Fine Bears

$17 - $49.99 from Love Is Lame »

Do you love her? Eh. Is she cute? Heh. She is way beyond cute, dude. Hot? HOT. Like... Hotter than Olivia Munn all tatted up and devouring a chili dog in a Xena costume? Uh.... Basically every time I see her all I can...

Check it out

Go F Yourself Condom Card

$9.99 - $12.99 from FunnyCondoms.com »

I can think of many people to whom I'd like to send a Go F Yourself card (complete with packaged condom for carrying out the act!) but one dude stands out like a glowing beacon bobbing amidst the sea of the rest. How...

Buy Now

Feisty Pets

$19.99 - $29.99 from Amazon »

These Feisty Pets are the perfect way to teach your kids about the true nature of animals. All cuddly puppy and squishy bear and magical unicorn at first sight, but get too close and...Rrrrrawwwrrr! Back the F off, son...

Buy Now

Go F*ck! - Go Fish for Adults (NSFW)

$12.33 from Amazon »

I never was much of a Go Fisher. Unlike War, it just had too many rules to keep track of so I always lost. The same will probably happen with Go F*ck, the "adult" version of the kiddie card game, but I get the sense that...

Check it out

Griz Coat

$249 - $299 from Griz Coat »

I just named a bear one of my Top 10 choices for animal reincarnation, and now, as if in answer to my plea to the forces of nature, the Griz Coat is back. In time for winter. In time for the holidays. In time for looking...

Buy Now

Animal Hoodies

$9.82 - $23.95 from Amazon »

Ladies, if Griz Coats are too big, too masculine, or too covering of the neck down for you (read: for me), how about one of these minxy little animal hoodies? Most of them even extend along the shoulders into a cozy pair...

Check it out

Undead Teds - Your Bear, Zombified

$110 - $140 from Undead Teds »

Whoa. I thought the scariest thing I'd ever seen was a real live British boy who looks like Chucky, but Undead Teds have staged a coup and now reign supreme. Even if they don't have the same bone-chilling, soprano accent....