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Coyote Face Pet Harness

By: on May 01, 2015
Discontinued

I don't know whether that cat looks more pissed that someone put a harness on him or that the face of the coyote he just gutted and ate from the inside out when it tried to swallow him whole is still stuck to it.

From forth the creative loins of Savage Punk, the people who brought us Cat Battle Armor, comes this next masterpiece in pet fashion, the bluntly named Coyote Face pet harness.

Pictured on an irate cat, but suitable for a small dog too, the Coyote Face harness marries leather straps and brass hardware with the extracted fur head (plus some sinew!) of America's favorite--and by favorite I mean not really very highly regarded at all--wild canid. If you think the piece is weird and kind of unsettling, then that makes two of us. But if you think it's cruel and distasteful, think of it this way: one more pug waddling and snorting around town in a Coyote Face harness means one less coyote face to chow down on a pug waddling and snorting around the back yard.

Savage Punk's harnesses include a brass d-ring for clipping the Coyote Face to your pet's leash. They are made to order, and fitted to the intended animal's size. The company notes they are also "open to using other faces (as weird as that sounds)."

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$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat

Discontinued

The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds...

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Cat Battle Armor

$500 - $520 from Etsy »

Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training...

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Shed Defender Dog Onesie

$39.99 - $61.99 from Amazon »

Will zipping your dog into a Shed Defender make him look like a canine fool? Sure. But no more so than putting him in pet samurai armor or an AT-AT costume for your personal viewing pleasure. And while the latter have...

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How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

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A must-read for every cat parent! How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives consolidates 8 crucial public service pamphlets into a clear...

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

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Laser Engraved Cat Rolling Pin

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Meow-meow, meow-meow, meow-meow, meow-...chomp! Mmmm, nothing like a buttery bite of shortbread kitteh! You might say this laser engraved cat rolling pin is for cat people. Or, you could make an argument that it's for...

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Your Pet's Nose Ring

$284.99 from Etsy »

I'm all for loving your pet...and your pet's nose. But your pet's nose as a ring? Even if the sweet pup or kitty has moved on to taller trees and bigger litter boxes, I'm not sure wearing a sterling silver cast of their...

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Taxidermy Animal Drones

When I first read about, but hadn't yet seen, Copter Company's taxidermy animal drones I though they just sounded kinda goofy. Then I got a look at the Orvillecopter here. A spread-eagle taxidermied quad-cat-ter flying...

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Vagisoft Clothing

$68 - $108 from Beta Brand »

I know nothing is supposed to connote comfort like a mama's womb, but when Betabrand describes it as "Vagisoft"...ummm...I think of wearing a vagina. Which could be soft. Ish. I guess. If the lady's into grooming. But...

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Exploding Kittens Card Game - NSFW Edition

$15.99 from Amazon »

Unlike run-of-the-mill kitten explosions, Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition contains content that is not suitable for your workplace or children. And even though no one seems to be saying it, I'm guessing a card game featuring...

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Oscillot Cat Containment System

On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...

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Iron Throne Cat Bed

$198 from Etsy »

Is your cat the rightful heir to the FELIRON THRONE? A bright spot in my week of Game of Thrones withdrawal (2019? 2019?!) Kate Agafonova's Iron Throne Cat Bed invites kitties from all families - royals, wardens, lords...