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Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/handmade-guinea-pig-armor-8201.jpg "Handmade Guinea Pig Armor")
I had a guinea pig as a young boy. I named him Ruffles because he and I both were somewhat effeminate. They didn't make polished steel scale outfits for guinea pigs back then. And I have to admit, taking in this majestic handmade...
/hobbit-hole-pet-play-houses-8214.jpg "Hobbit Hole Pet & Play Houses")
Officially made and sold as Hobbit Hole chicken coops (or scale-mail-clad guinea pig coops! The uprising, it is all coming together!) these Lord of the Rings-inspired homes for the yard also serve as dog houses or kiddie...
/petcube-remote-interactive-7989.jpg "Petcube - Remote Interactive Pet Toy")
Does your pet give you a forlorn look of abandonment that stirs an overwhelming sense of guilt in your heart and makes you feel like a complete a-hole every time you leave the house? More importantly does this typical bundle of canine or feline joy respond to the frustration and boredom of being left alone by pissing all over your $2,500 couch, strewing bacon-fat-soaked paper towels from the trash...
/k-9-kannon-ball-launcher-7930.jpg "K-9 Kannon Ball Launcher")
This K-9 Kannon indeed looks like a device over which the dogs slated to retrieve its blasted tennis balls are going to go apeshit. It fires up to 75 feet...consistently, not just those one or two times you really focus and...
/raptor-dog-costume-4939.jpg "Raptor Dog Costume")
Holy crap, as if I weren't already terrified enough of this beast! Now they have to go and put a raptor costume on it. Well tiny dinosaur dog, now you can keep your beady eyes, your snaggleteeth and your flesh-flaying, sickle-shaped...
/Animal-Cruelty-Laser-Mate-1495.jpg?mode=crop "Animal Cruelty Laser Mate")
Ah perfect. Pets are great... until they impose on us in any manner. Cuddling on the couch and receiving unconditional love? I'm in. Taking them out, walking them, playing with them... that's kind of a nuisance. It really cuts into my "me time". Luckily, we as humans have evolved. We're, like, way smarter than these mental midget mammals. We can invent a toy to play with them for us, and they'll...
/ruffbowl-poop-drink-be-6489.jpg "RuffBowl - Poop, Drink & Be Merry")
Before delving into RuffBowl specifics, I will share some fun facts about the French. Parisians love their dogs. The ratio of dogs to people in that city is 1:7. But they don't love cleaning up after their dogs. In fact, the...
/cat-hamster-wheel-6121.jpg "Cat Hamster Wheel")
In a way I hate the idea of the Toy-Go-Round cat hamster wheel because really the only kinds of cats I like are the lazy fat ones that look as if they might go into cardiac arrest if they even stood up. But in another way...
/dog-overalls-7424.jpg "Dog Overalls")
The list of items people inexplicably buy for their pets just keeps getting longer. I can't imagine any dog--even a neutered dog--forcibly suited up in a pair of Hurtta's canine overalls not spending every second thereafter...
/dog-cooling-vest-7093.jpg "Dog Cooling Vest")
I always wonder if dogs appreciate the lengths humans go to to enhance their comfort. Not in the sense that they need to send a handwritten thank you card or bake us a lasagna (though picking up their own shit would be a nice...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/fish-training-kit-5468.jpg "Fish Training Kit")
If we can teach rats to run mazes and cows to jump over moons, why not teach fish to kick a soccer ball or swim through hoops? The R2 Fish School Fish Training Kit, developed by master trainer of the gilled ones Dr. Dean Pomerleau...
/duckface-dog-muzzle-4922.jpg "Duckface Dog Muzzle")
Oh man, I really hope dogs aren't smarter than we think they are. Does it get more humiliating than a Duckface Muzzle? Quack, an OPPO Japan bit of "You poor canine bastard" is a soft silicone dog muzzle available in yellow...
/bow-wow-water-fountain-3511.jpg "Bow Wow Water Fountain")
No opposable thumb required. This pooch-friendly water fountain attaches easily to the end of a standard garden hose, and activates at the touch of a paw. Adjustable to 3 pressure settings, the perpetual hydrater is also capable...
/hyperdog-ball-launcher-4251.jpg "HyperDog Ball Launcher")
If the X Games had a Fetch event, the HyperDog Ball Launcher would certainly be canine owners' competition implement of choice. Designed to slingshot tennis balls over 200 feet laterally, the next step up from this behemoth...
/glowdoggie-dog-collar-4081.jpg "Glow-in-the-Dark Dog Collar")
A HALO LED Sport Belt for man, a Glowdoggie LED Collar for man's best friend. The Glowdoggie, a sturdy, German-engineered, 100% waterproof dog collar, helps keep pooches visible or easy to spot in the dark, and when frolicking...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
