Pets

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The Ultimate Cat Scratcher Lounge

$49.95 from Amazon »

A cat scratcher and lounge that's modern and sexy and might even be nicer than any of the hooman furniture I own? And that's way, way cheaper than the other best cat scratching post I've ever seen? My cat, Zanzibar, and...

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Pet Teepee Dog & Cat Bed

$39.99 - $69.99 from Amazon »

Is the name of the dog in this Pet Teepee "Little Dove?" That's adorrrrrable! It's also what Cersei Lannister used to call Sansa Stark, so I hope that pup grows up and grows fangs faster than the Lady of Winterfell...

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Iron Throne Cat Bed

$198 from Etsy »

Is your cat the rightful heir to the FELIRON THRONE? A bright spot in my week of Game of Thrones withdrawal (2019? 2019?!) Kate Agafonova's Iron Throne Cat Bed invites kitties from all families - royals, wardens, lords...

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SureFlap Microchip Pet Door

$150 - $170.99 from Amazon »

Tired of the neighbor's cat Willard and his local gang of raccoons letting themselves in your dog door to clean you out of tuna fish and play poker at your kitchen table? Lock them out with SureFlap's Microchip Pet Door...

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Ruffwear Highlands Sleeping Bag for Dogs

$99.95 from Amazon »

Ruffwear sure knows how to capture a happy family. Mom. Dad. Baby Doggo in its very own baby doggo sleeping bag nestled in between. Awww, how adorable. Guess who woves their wittle baby doggo!...

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Calmz Anxiety Relief System for Dogs

$99.95 from Amazon »

The Calmz Anxiety Relief System thinks it can settle down your nervous pup using some of the same techniques research shows help people with the same high levels of stress and anxiety. Have you seen the weighted blankets...

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself...

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Dog & Cat Temperament Leashes & Collars

$14.99 - $19.99 from Amazon »

Dexil's leashes and collars announce your dog or cat ahead of its licks and wags...or tucked tails...or snarls, hisses, claws, and teeth. The line of leads and restraints display pet temperament both by color and big...

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Cat Cool Pot Bed Pet Cooling Tray

Japan Trend Shop says the Cat Cool Pot Bed "functions as both a pet bed and as fun decoration to make your cat look cute." I thought they were going to say the dish made from "cooling aluminum" functions as both a cat...

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Kurgo Mud Dog Travel Shower

$12.99 from Amazon »

But, but, my whole purpose in life is to roll in mud, and then on your couch! Kurgo's Mud Dog Travel Shower aims to put a wrench in your dog's plan to bring his nice & dirty self home from the park or hike as is, and...

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BarkBath Portable Dog Bath System

$99 - $149 from BarkBath »

Looks like the BarkBath is about to make bathing your dog at home way easier on you. Hehheh, but judging by the I-damn-well-better-be-getting-paid-for-this look on the face of that golden retriever in the demo video...

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Katris Tetrimino Modular Cat Trees

$248.95 - $338.95 from Amazon »

Even though they're made of paper these Tetriminos are each strong enough to support up to 300 pounds of cats climbing, scratching, sleeping, and getting up to no good. Just don't use the modules to make a tree that aligns...

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Cardboard Cat Playhouses

$27.99 - $58.99 from Amazon »

After wrecking one too many real cars and getting banned from the road, Toonces the Driving Cat went into the make-believe business and developed this line of cat houses for Suck UK. Sure, "piloting" a cardboard airplane...

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Oscillot Cat Containment System

On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...

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Moody Pet Fling-Ama-String

$24.95 from Amazon »

Nothing beats a hearty laugh had at a cat's expense. Aw, come on. Unlike a cucumber, Moody Pet's Fling-Ama-String is great fun for the kitties too. The battery-operated toy looks a little like a strongman game, but instead...

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EcoQubeC Aquarium

$119.99 - $275 from Amazon »

The EcoQubeC Aquarium is for all the kiddies, girlfriends, and mamas on your gift list this year who are responsible...ish. The desktop Betta fish tank does accommodate a single live fish, which will need to be fed and...

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Pet Power Poo(ch) Vacuum

Sold Out from Amazon »

The Pooch Power Shovel--essentially a rechargeable dog shit vacuum--may not collect the crap straight from the chute like the Piqapoo, but it still significantly reduces your proximity to and interaction with your buddy's...

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Piqapoo Self-Collecting Poop Bag

$29 - $35 from Piqapoo »

On the one hand, clipping a Piqapoo self-collecting poop bag to your dog's butt exceeds injury cone and Chia Pet costume levels of shaming him. But on the other hand, you've spent the last X years following him around...

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Walky Dog Hands-Free Bicycle Leash

$59.95 from The Dog Outdoors »

Better have a good long talk with your dog before hooking him up to a Walky Dog hands-free bicycle leash. Lay some ground rules about tugging horizontally and keeping his instinct to tear off at full horsepower after...

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Pooch Selfie Phone Attachment

$12.99 from Amazon »

The Pooch Selfie presumes your dog is a big enough sucker that he'll be mesmerized by a simple tennis ball with a squeaker inside long enough for you to snap the perfect photo of the two of you...

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Apollo Peak Cat Wine

$4.95 - $11.95 from Apollo Peak »

No, cat haters, Apollo Peak does not make wine out of cats. And, sorry pranksters, MosCATo is not a bottle of fermented grapes finished with cat pee that you can send anonymously to the nosy, loud-mouthed B from marketing...

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Outward Hound Tuff Guy Dog Toys

$15.08 - $31.89 from Amazon »

It's fuzzy stuffed hedgehog meets 'roided out meathead in this toy for your dog that you'll probably buy just as much as a gift for yourself. Outward Hound's Tuff Guy dog toys squeak, grunt, and huff for your pooch while...

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Foaming Mousse Dry Pet Shampoo

Sold Out from Amazon »

My friend Cornelius' Uncle Otto used to have this crotchety, overweight Westie called Magoo who, like many dogs, enjoyed digging around in the back yard and rolling in rabbit crap. He also had severe skin allergies (along...

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Wild Knight Dog Armor

$367 from Etsy »

Your canine ca-knight in shining armor has arrived! With one caveat: Lebovskiart, the Bulgarian designer of the shining armor, reports that his dog "does not like very much these strange clothes." But for him at least...