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Catnip Joints

By: on October 02, 2014
$10 - $19.50
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Legal in all 50 states! Though I'm pretty sure Catnip Joints are the inverse of marijuana joints. In the sense that all the cats I've ever seen lie around and sleep all day, pausing only to look at you with complete disinterest and excruciatingly slow blinks, until they get their paws on some catnip. Then they're darting and rolling and hopping all over the living room like an epileptic monkey on hot coals. Me, that's what I'm like if I haven't smoked a joint.

Which is why my mama always makes sure to set one out next to my bowl of Lucky Charms in the morning. Thanks, Mama.

Catnip Joints...for recreational use...deliver a 100% premium catnip buzz. Their hand-rolled and sealed cloth wrappers contain no fillers, only pure leaves and buds. Choose from sets of 5, a Three Joint Nirvana Gift Set (includes a stash bag, refresher catnip, and 3 joints), Rainbow Joints, and Vapor Trails Catnip Joints, complete with feathery tails of smoke wafting from their ends.

Catnip Joints are a top Dude Gift for the Pet Lover pick.

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

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$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat

Discontinued

The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds...

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Cat Battle Armor

$500 - $520 from Etsy »

Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training...

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Delectables SqueezeUps - Go-Gurt for Cats

$15.76 - $17.99 from Amazon »

I can has creamy tuna Go-Gurt? Yes, cats of the world, thanks to Delectables SqueezeUps, you can. Fire up your tongue and mind your claws because this is how this treat session's gonna go: I hold and squeeze, you lick...

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Swim Desk

$1,999.99 from ThinkGeek »

While great for your joints I'm not so sure how good the Swim Desk is going to be for your computer and mobile phone. Definitely recommend keeping a vat of rice on hand while work-stroking at it. And also maybe an EMT...

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Taxidermy Animal Drones

When I first read about, but hadn't yet seen, Copter Company's taxidermy animal drones I though they just sounded kinda goofy. Then I got a look at the Orvillecopter here. A spread-eagle taxidermied quad-cat-ter flying...

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Leaf Plug N' Plant Cannabis Grow System

$1,500 from Leaf »

Marijuana is legal where I live (i.e., my bedroom) so why shouldn't I don my farmer's hat and experiment with growing my own? Especially now that sweet cannabis culinary gadgets like the Magical Butter and smart growing...

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Cat Cool Pot Bed Pet Cooling Tray

Japan Trend Shop says the Cat Cool Pot Bed "functions as both a pet bed and as fun decoration to make your cat look cute." I thought they were going to say the dish made from "cooling aluminum" functions as both a cat...

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Dog & Cat Temperament Leashes & Collars

$14.99 - $19.99 from Amazon »

Dexil's leashes and collars announce your dog or cat ahead of its licks and wags...or tucked tails...or snarls, hisses, claws, and teeth. The line of leads and restraints display pet temperament both by color and big...

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Oscillot Cat Containment System

On first viewing of the Oscillot video you might think installing one of the spinning paddle perimeters along the top of your fence is like building a prison for your cat. Condemning him to being that inmate who gets...

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Exploding Kittens Card Game - NSFW Edition

$19.99 from Amazon »

Unlike run-of-the-mill kitten explosions, Exploding Kittens: NSFW Edition contains content that is not suitable for your workplace or children. And even though no one seems to be saying it, I'm guessing a card game featuring...

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Your Pet's Fur Watches

Wait! Don't throw away the dog fur you just lint rollered off the couch, or the cat hair you dug out of the vacuum cleaner filter! Stuff that cuddly wad of goodness into a Ziploc and ship it off to Analog Watch Co. They...