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Friday, April 18, 2014
$12 - $14 from Amazon »

They call it a high performance guitar pick, which in my mind means that the Pykmax should do the guitar strumming for me. Like a player piano, but completely inconspicuously so that the ladies I'm trying to impress think...

Monday, April 21, 2014
$67.56 from Amazon »

Yeah, MP3 speaker pillows are all fun and games until someone drowns their connected smartphone in a pool of drool and shorts it beyond repair. It's about time we got a Bluetooth upgrade to this otherwise swell advancement...

Thursday, February 13, 2014
$199 - $239 from Bragi »

The Dash is a set of wireless in-ear headphones. It's also a self-contained MP3 player. And a Bluetooth headset. A microphone. A USB stick. A heart rate monitor, fitness tracker, sports watch. It has the capabilities of at least 5 different pieces of equipment yet it fits, securely and ergonomically, right inside your ears. Maybe it's bigger on the inside....

Sunday, April 13, 2014
$1,900 from Etsy »

Like the Nintendo controller coffee tables Charles Lushear handmakes CNC-machine-free from local California woods, Celantano Woodworks out of North Carolina works similar magic on their handmade, wood-based, "You dream it...

Sunday, December 15, 2013
$99 - $199 from DrumPants »

We all tap our feet, our thighs, our chests, and the asses of the opposite sex if they are amenable to it anyway, so why not create an instrument that returns a more audible, rich, and percussive sound than that of flesh pounding...

Saturday, April 5, 2014
$129.95 from Amazon »

Though not yet skilled enough to earn itself Ninja status, the Turtle Shell Bluetooth speaker does amount to more than your average armored reptile. Shockproof, dust-proof, and water-resistant even through a heavy rain, the compact boombox will travel anywhere you do that merits cranked volume, Hi-Fi audio, and earbud-free listening....

Friday, March 21, 2014
$9.95 from Amazon »

When fully assembled, the Super Ear Amplifier amplifies ambient sound through headphones by a factor of 50. A wordsmith who goes by the name of "Amazon Customer" says, "It's like a hearing aid on steroids." Teach the kiddos...

Sunday, December 29, 2013
$19.39 from Amazon »

Broadcast your beats to the world from your car with LED equalizer stickers, and broadcast your beats to your mama from the living room with these dancing water speakers. Don't worry, she'll love them. They'll remind her of...

Sunday, January 5, 2014
$15k from indiegogo »

Remember the Cocoon 1, a means for people to leave the bubble of their computer screens and living rooms, and enter a bubble plopped down in the middle of a park or the general admission area of the next Slipknot show? Now...

Tuesday, January 14, 2014
$349 from Clearview Audio »

Click through the photos of rooms above. Can you spot the Clio clear speaker amidst their furniture and decor? I struggled with a couple. It might be named after one of the nine goddesses of music, but Clio is making its debut...

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.

And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.

The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.

Saturday, January 11, 2014
$22.99 from Amazon »

Here's a friendly price point for singing like a nightingale or screaming like a banshee in the shower. FreshETech's Splash Shower Tunes is a completely waterproof, wireless speaker that automatically pairs with any Bluetooth-fitted...

Wednesday, April 17, 2013
$99.95 from Bass Egg »

I received a Bass Egg vibration speaker of my own yesterday, and although it looks more like an egg that has been cut in half with both pieces inverted and then fused back together than an egg freshly ejected by a hen (it...

Friday, July 5, 2013
$29.99 from Jamboo Headphones »

Rock out with your co...nscientious bamboo and thread headphones out. Jamboo headphones add eco-friendly materials and stylized flair to what has become a fixture dangling from the ears of many a cool kid on campus, at the...

Friday, August 23, 2013

Everything tastes better when ingested directly from a mason jar. Fruit preserves. Pickled green beans. Molten chocolate cakes. Ole Smoky Moonshine. Apparently even music--ingestible aurally rather than orally--is a prime...

Thursday, October 31, 2013
$18 from indiegogo »

Rebel knows you could stuff your smartphone in a waterproof pouch and enjoy its muffled sounds in the shower or by the pool. Or risk hooking it up to a speaker in the kitchen and sloshing suds and bloody chicken juice on it....

Monday, September 30, 2013
$4,150 from Bruce Mahalski »

Ladies, who wants to bone a guitar god? Come on now, don't start a stampede. There are plenty of sheep femurs and possum skulls to go around, and room enough on my acoustic slim body for at least a couple hundred of you to...

Thursday, February 28, 2013
$7.15 from Sharetapes »

I'm not sure who decided mixtapes were in need of a resurgence, but to whomever it was, congratulations. The Aussies were listening. And they've added upgrades in the form of NFC chips, QR codes, and the removal of old-school...

Friday, June 7, 2013
$24.95 - $29.95 from PocketStrings »

We need way more products like PocketStrings. Products that allow people to do things that would normally disturb me without disturbing me. The Baby Muzzle was a good start. Now this portable, silent guitar practice tool....

Saturday, April 14, 2012
$275 from Soundlazer »

The Soundlazer is a parametric speaker that harnesses the power of ultrasonic sound. Sounds cool, huh? But, uh, what's a parametric speaker, and how about a refresher on ultrasonic sound? If you're feeling how I felt when...

Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Discontinued

Android meets virtual reality meets music meets...cat. Does the Finger Piano really need the Japanese qualifier for anyone to guess where it's from? One note per finger, plus three notes on the wrist, equals a full octave...

Friday, August 2, 2013
$10.95 from EarSkinz »

I may have mentioned this before, but in case you forgot, I have very active sweat glands. More precisely, I am the Old Faithful of sweating. One time at the gym I had a concerned elderly woman run up to warn me that I should...

Thursday, January 10, 2013
$33.90 from Amazon »

An update of theKube, nano MP3 player newKube debuted a few days ago at the 2013 Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas. Improvements to the previous model are based on user feedback, and include an inbuilt equalizer with up to...

Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Sold Out from Amazon »

I've been looking for a speaker than can bump & grind as well as I do. The BlackDiamond3, a wireless/Bluetooth model compatible with all iProducts and most smartphones, raves in up to 16,000,000 LED colors, syncing vividly...

Monday, February 11, 2013
$99 - $999 from DomeCandy »

What's this? A circa 1968 suitcase and a set of Sony speakers turned into a portable stereo? Aw, Granny, good job! You made a ghetto blaster! And I thought our Merle Haggard Mondays and Tupac Tuesdays couldn't get any better....

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Wagons, the color blue, toys loud enough to get me grounded, stereos gangsta enough to make me feel like I was a part of the rap community, all of the things I loved as a young boy come rushing back in a singular, superb composition:...

Friday, March 23, 2012
$399.99 from Marshall Fridge »

The Marshall amp replica refrigerator, signed by Jim Marshall, emblazoned with authentic Marshall logos, and fitted with a real Marshall facing has a paradoxically acoustic effect: it makes your brews and carbonated shots...

Monday, May 20, 2013
$49 from Firefly »

Fireflies seem to be a popular metaphor for commodities of the free market lately. There's the Firefly Blue Laser Lamp, Firefly flying helicopter toys, Firefly Sweet Tea Vodka...mmmm...and our most current personification...

Thursday, January 3, 2013
$10 from Etsy »

George Washington has been picked to rock out. And I'm not even recapping a scene from the next installment of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Which Keanu is one zero away from agreeing to, given that he hasn't had a blockbuster...

Friday, April 20, 2012
$2,700 from Etsy »

She's curvaceous, stunning, and sings like a bird. A little hollow on the inside, but, hey, no one's perfect. Guitar visionary Paul Celentano, who also brought us the Transformers and Pac Man Ukuleles, strikes yet another...

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Now man can beat his chest and sound even badder than a silverback gorilla*. Drop the Beat, Wesley Chau's wearable drum set concept, was inspired by Laurie Anderson's 1986 concert film Home of the Brave. Yeah, I don't know...

Tuesday, June 18, 2013
$150 from Etsy »

Now when you play, Duh nuh-nuh nuh-nuh nuh-nuh-nuh on your bass, the ensuing Bat! Man! will be right there at your fingertips. Josh Ackerman, formerly given a nod for his Darth Vader bracelet, has added a hand-woven Batman...

Thursday, February 14, 2013
Discontinued

Before when I wanted my voice to sound like a roboticized rapper's I just had Kanye West serve as my ventriloquist. But over the past couple years he's sort of turned into an egomaniacal fame whore and no longer seems to remember...

Friday, March 15, 2013
Sold Out from Amazon »

I have nothing snide to say about the speaker pillow. It's an outstanding idea. I can't even count how many times I have fallen asleep with earbuds in and woken up with one side implanted so deep in my aural canal I crowned...

Sunday, August 4, 2013
$700 from Etsy »

Sharks and ukuleles seem to be an unlikely pairing, until you take into account that sharks will shred any physical object into a horrifying mess of strands and pulp, and ukuleles will likewise shred any Billboard hit into...

Wednesday, March 20, 2013
$52 from Riffstation »

Riffstation is sort of like Guitar Hero software. But for real guitar players, not just button-pressing hacks like myself, and for real guitar players who actually want to improve their technique or jam with their favorite...

Sunday, August 5, 2012

The street legal version is cool and all, but for the musicians out there, how about a 6-string Light Cycle blasting a blue inferno as it travels at the speed of sound? The Cybertech T-RON, another stunning piece of hand-forged...

Saturday, June 9, 2012
Discontinued

They call it Unlimited because this electric guitar's amp and speaker are built into its body, and directly compatible with effects pedals available via smartphone technology. Which means no more lugging around and hooking...

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Since I am not the guy from Police Academy, I am generally at a disadvantage when telling a story because, try as I might, my attempts to enhance its delivery with the accurate incorporation of sound effects usually crumble...

Monday, May 28, 2012
$6,300 from iXoost »

iXoost hails from the land of true ghetto-blasting iPod/iPhone sound systems. The land of metallic brilliance, whose docking stations are forged by local craftsmen from solid blocks of aluminum. The land of gnarly, visionary...

Friday, September 28, 2012
$2k from Etsy »

Like most people, when I think of ukuleles, I also think of a dark, industrial, post-apocalyptic society characterized by gears, studs, and other metal accoutrements. So it's about damn time someone crafted a Steampunk Ukulele...

Sunday, July 1, 2012
$4,700 from And Vinyly »

Don't take your passion for Iron Maiden, U2, the Biebs, reciting Shakespearean monologues, or telling friends and family, "I love you, man" to the grave, let it live for eternity in a cacophony of death! Once again, human...

Thursday, September 8, 2011
$399 from Enandis »

This looks like one of those things old men from the days of yore used to stick in their waxy ears so they could hear. In yet another reverse technological miracle, this is a perfect iPhone amplifier. Before you know it, people...

Sunday, May 20, 2012
$1,579 from AlphaSphere »

The designer's interpretation of the AlphaSphere is "a new electronic musical instrument and controller which reinterpret the way we interact with sound." The user's: A bomb diggity ball of electronica. Populated with 48 pressure...

Wednesday, August 15, 2012
$460 from Amplisonic »

Gas cans and guitar amps. Only the Finns could think to broker a merger of the two. Handcrafted in Finland, the V8 T.A.N.K 20W mobile guitar amplifier allows for more than 8 hours of continuous rocking out, and then recharges...

Friday, April 13, 2012
Discontinued

Surprisingly, Munny Dolls are a successful American, not Japanese, brainchild. Perhaps even a successful American idiot's brainchild--as in from the head of a guy who was fixin' to make him some munny offa cheap vinyl doll...

Thursday, May 31, 2012
$24.99 from Fort Atlantic »

On the one hand, nice marketing ploy, Fort Atlantic. A debut album released on an old-school Nintendo cartridge, replete with USB connectivity for computer transfer, might just catch the eye--and credit cards--of video gamers...

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Shock, awe, and deference. That's the chronological exhibit of emotions you'll witness when you friends discover that what they thought was a trinket you schlepped back from your trip to Jamaica is actually an amplifier for...

Friday, April 6, 2012
$399 from Frontgate »

We know records communicate a certain authenticity and legitimacy in the world of music aficionados, but vinyl is so easily scratched, and turntables are so difficult to bring on road trips. If you're going to cling to your...

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Once you put these things in your ears, you want be able to stop putting them in your ears until you feel sick to your ears. You can't listen to just one song with these headphones. They're addictive. I'm craving them right...

Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Sold Out from Etsy »

Knowing all of your pirated music is safely backed up probably makes you want to play a happy tune. Now there's instant access both to external data storage and celebratory ditties Skip to My Lou and You Are My Sunshine in...

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