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The Burger Lift

By: on December 01, 2016
$8.80
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Even though the Burger Lift is kind of a head-scratcher--wait, why do I need a plastic rack in the shape of a burger to raise my real burger half an inch off the plate?--it still might be one of the most logical things to happen in all of 2016. And I swear, its existence is legit and available for purchase this holiday season. The Burger Lift is 100% not fake news.

For better or worse.

Check it out: Made of fiery-hot-burner-colored (and microwave-safe!) 5 PP plastic, the Burger Lift lifts your burger off your plate so its gooey drippings and encroaching side dishes don't run onto the bun and make it all soggy and nasty. The Burger Lift also provides a platform for OCDs who can't handle it when different foods touch one another. And, maybe most reasonably, it gives your Benedict Burger the throne it deserves.

Backed by a mantra of Lift your buns! Lift your buns!, the Burger Lift elevates sandwich-eating in every sense of the word. The plastic racks are sold in sets of 4, so you and your neat & tidy bros can all keep your 5 Guys takeout the F away from unsavory spillover grease and errant blobs of mayo.

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EROVR 10-in-1 Transformable Cart

$195 from indiegogo »

The EROVR pretty much has every last bit of crap you might need to lug around covered with its Optimus Prime-level transformation abilities. This versatile cart shifts and clicks through 10 different modes that tweak...

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Reversible Meat Pounder & Tenderizer

$29.95 from Amazon »

Time to pound some meat! And then let your gentle side take over and press it tenderly. You don't even need 2 different toys to do it with Leifheit's Pro Line Meat Pounder & Tenderizer. It's reversible. A powerful and...

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$8.99 from Amazon »

Dude Wipes: A Brief Overview of Audience and Application. Dude Wipes are for dudes. And every once in while--say, every 18 to 24 hours--dudes tend to have an especially...explosive...encounter with the bathroom. The kind...

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$79.80 from Amazon »

Not quite as good as tumbling your meat into diamonds, but way better than waiting 12 hours for it to marinate. The Chef's Elite 15-Minute Marinator uses a vacuum system and a (literal) drum roll to (literally) turn your...

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Raclette Interactive Party Grill

$74.36 from Amazon »

Raclette grills epitomize the best way to host a dinner party: make all the guests cook their food themselves. Named for a Swiss cheese that melts well, raclette has evolved to include a Swiss style of interactive dining...

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Keytendo Video Game Console Key Holder

$34.99 from Amazon »

Somewhere between way too much and not nearly enough geek lies the Keytendo, an NES-themed key holder, and your Goldilocks gift for a geek....

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Smokemiester BBQ Smoker Grill Converter

$109.95 from Amazon »

Holy smokes...miester! A Weber, a hole saw, and a coupla Bud Light Limes on a Saturday afternoon, and my Bru-BQ Wayne kettle grill becomes a Bat-Smoker too! The Smokemiester BBQ Smoker converts any covered grill into...

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Smoke Puck Meat Infusers

$12.14 from Amazon »

They say these smoke pucks pack punch. Right in your meat's kisser! Smaller than a wood or pellet smoker, or even a wood / pellet smoker box that sits under your grill lid, the Steven Raichlen Best of Barbecue Stainless...

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Cabidor Door Storage Cabinet

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Behind Door #1 we have...a full-length pantry of Combos and Cap'n Crunch! And Behind Door #1-1/2 we have...a dozen classic NES cartridges, a coupla Koosh balls, and VHS cassettes of the best porn from my childhood (circa...

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The Food Kracker

$14.95 - $19.95 from Food Kracker, Inc. »

The Food Kracker looks to be as gratifying in application as it is effective. Almost as good as when you buy a bag of ice that gets all hunked up together in the freezer, so when you want to use it you lift it really...

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Ultra Fast Defrosting Tray

$12.99 from Amazon »

I want a big hunk of meat, and I want it now. What? Frozen?! Thaw overnight in the fridge? Thaw in a bowl of water for a few hours? Thaw in the microwave and let it get all...microwaved? How about, instead of any of that...

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Slotdog Hot Dog Scorer

$17.88 from Amazon »

The Slotdog is Straight. Outta. Compton. Canada. At first glance, this hot dog scorer might seem as unnecessary as the infamous Banana Slicer, and only slightly less ridiculous than the Rollie Egg Dog Maker. It might...