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Tuesday, July 8, 2014
$185 from Coolest Cooler »

Is it cool enough to be called the Coolest? You decide. After months of anticipation (well, my 6-packs, margarita mix, and I were waiting with bated breath) the Coolest Cooler has finally launched its Kickstarter campaign....

Friday, April 17, 2015
$24.99 from ThinkGeek »

What's going to be harder: getting the cake eggs away from the dragon guarding them, or getting the cake eggs out of the Dragon Cake Pan without destroying them? Those with the ambition and determination of Dany Targaryen...

Tuesday, December 23, 2014
$30 from The Knockout »

I used to prefer my knockouts served as Fireball shots and right hooks, but this Knockout, a new twist on the beer bong, might leave those standards unconscious and bleeding from the ear on the floor. Designed for attachment around any standard bottle top, the Knockout looks like a bent metal straw fitted with a bright red Super Mario plumbing pipe. Once in place it can serve as a standard beer...

Tuesday, April 14, 2015
$310 - $7,300 from Dutch Lab »

Two things I don't know are what Dutch coffee even is and how to make even a cup of regular old coffee in the regular old coffee maker in our staff kitchenette (in fact, an office-wide vote has forbidden me from touching it)....

Tuesday, December 3, 2013
$6.95 from Can Stamp »

Ever since the days of colonialism and the American Frontier...no...way before that. Ever since the days animals began eking out a drop more urine even when they didn't have to pee just so that they could piss on things, we...

Wednesday, September 17, 2014
$20 - $35 from Mighty Mug »

We've all done it: knocked over a cup of coffee/sodie/water/vodka tonic at work and ruined something important. Like my entire week. Jayme Smaldone and his Mighty Mug cohorts blew out an important office computer with a spill. But instead of swearing and slamming doors and whining could their mamas please just make bacon mac 'n' cheese with Corn Flake topping for dinner about it, they developed...

Saturday, November 8, 2014
$7 from Sriracha2Go »

I know there are a few problems with this Sriracha keychain. Like in addition to enabling me to deliberately put Sriracha on my breakfast burritos and Philly cheese dips on the go, it's also going to enable me to inadvertently...

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Are normal home brewing kits typically boring and ugly? I don't really know, as I focus more on drinking beer than making beer (best to funnel all of your energy into a single channel and dominate it!) but whatever normal...

Wednesday, March 11, 2015
$179 from Kickstarter »

Turn a Picasso...or your own boobie scribbles...into edible, delectable art with the PancakeBot, the world's first pancake printer, and the world's latest entirely unnecessary invention! Mama! I'm tired of circles and your...

Sunday, September 28, 2014
$19.95 from Amazon »

One thing I can't stomach is getting piss drunk on piss warm whiskey. And though I do enjoy the array of giant cubes and fancy globes and Darth Vader-shaped ice molds now available for me to chill it with, their stubborn conformance...

Saturday, April 11, 2015
$9.99 from Perpetual Kid »

Uh oh. Mr. Sloth dozed off with his ass hanging in a cup of boiling water. And, mmmm, in contrast to skunk ass, sloth ass smells amazing. Like peachberry jasmine sutra. Or is that tranquil strawberry dream?...

Thursday, April 9, 2015
$19.99 from Amazon »

Little punk water bottle. Thinking you can kick back and spread out all over the place. Like you got a first class ticket to ride in my pack. I've got news for you...you...you self-entitled piece of BPA-free plastic: you're...

Wednesday, December 17, 2014
$161.19 from Amazon »

Behind Door #1 we have...a full-length pantry of Combos and Cap'n Crunch! And Behind Door #1-1/2 we have...a dozen classic NES cartridges, a coupla Koosh balls, and VHS cassettes of the best porn from my childhood (circa 1985...

Thursday, March 12, 2015
$55.19 from Amazon »

It's not delivery. And it's not DiGiorno*. It's homemade pizza from the Cuizen Pizza Box Oven. And it's so adorable I can hardly look at it without squealing. And by squealing I mean feeling an overwhelming urge to smoke a...

Friday, May 30, 2014
$349 from eCool »

All this cooler needs to keep beer cold is a shovel and 3 feet of ground. So, yeah. Throw one eCool in the bug out bag, Mama! Buried in the earth (and optionally also through a cut-out in wood decking or a concrete patio)...

Saturday, January 3, 2015
$49.99 - $59.99 from ZANG! »

Genius evolves again. The Sola e Sola or, as I like to call it, the Coffee & a Smoke Cup was pretty sweet when we saw it in 2012. But ZANG!'s PIPEMUGs know that 2015 calls for more than just a tiny espresso and a stick of...

Sunday, February 15, 2015

One thing that would make Jolene Carlier's Popcorn Monsoon better is if all the popped kernels actually landed in the bowl when they dropped out of the bottom of the machine's Mario pipe. But since the invention is still just...

Sunday, February 8, 2015
$269 from Amazon »

Why use a stovetop, or even a campfire to cook your pork & beans when you can use an evacuated glass tube? The GoSun Sport heralds itself as the fastest and easiest solar cooker available. Able to reach temperatures over 550...

Friday, April 3, 2015
$25.08 from Amazon »

This dragon mug is cool enough on its own and all, but the real draw here is the discount. Originally priced at $1,995, at printing this bad boy of fire was on sale for a whopping 99% off! From $2 grand to less than $20! I...

Monday, February 16, 2015
$7.36 from Amazon »

I think the best ad campaign of all time might be The Incredible Edible Egg. Not only because it rhymes, which is always the best way to present something, and is about food, which is always the best thing for something to...

Saturday, March 21, 2015
$11.70 from Amazon »

The makers of the BlenderBottle protein shake shaker also have a way for obsessive athletes, bodybuilders, and dieters to portion out and schlep along their supplements and dry edibles. GoStaks are towers of individual cylindrical...

Wednesday, April 8, 2015
$28 from Molla Space »

Try some hair of the dog from the head of the bear. Become strong like bull with shot from bull. Take off the sheep's clothing with 1.7 ounces of 151 straight from the wolf. Look into the eye of the tiger as it sends the juice...

Friday, March 13, 2015
$7.95 from Amazon »

Just in time for St. Paddy's Day: super hot girls getting super drunk on shots! And also a swell and enabling 2-person shot glass to prod them along. Ahhh, ain't nothing like a holiday, alcohol, and teamwork to send a little...

Sunday, October 19, 2014
$99 - $129 from Growler Werks »

Stuff like the uKeg, a portable pressurized growler for tap-fresh beer on demand, always comes from Oregon. Those dudes love their microbrews. And they're mad scientific geniuses about flooding the industry with tasty craft...

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Are you kidding me? An Argentine made the DestapaBanana flavor injector? Not Ron Popeil or some borderline obese overenthusiastic dude with a pet monkey on Shark Tank?...

Saturday, March 28, 2015
$49.50 from Amazon »

Not that I have any shame when it comes to drinking things straight from their containers - milk, OJ, tequila - but sometimes it's trickier to do that with my smoothies and milkshakes on account of the unwieldy and wide-mouthed...

Sunday, March 30, 2014
$999 - $1,200 from Natural Machines »

I am 0% surprised that someone made a 3D food printer. If we can print jewelry and home decor and machine parts and sugar, why shouldn't we be able to print dinner? Barcelona-based company Natural Machines has created the...

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

I'm not much of an outdoorsman. I mean, aside from the occasional paintball fight and walking to the bus stop. So being at the top of a mountain doesn't really appeal to me. But having the top of a mountain in the bottom of...

Friday, April 25, 2014
$23.98 from Amazon »

Willy Wonka is a pseudonym. His real name is Geraint Krumpe. And in these health-conscious, no-sugar, no-carb, caveman-diet times, he's traded in the chocolate factory for endless crates of protein powerhouses, and one more...

Saturday, September 6, 2014
$178.99 from Amazon »

Easily make medicinal butter, oils, tinctures, lotions, and sauces. Hear that? MagicalButter is so named for its power to convert healing herbs into healing herb culinary creations. So start coughing and breaking into a cold...

Saturday, August 16, 2014
$80.21 from Amazon »

The worst part of the year is upon us: the end of summer. True, football is starting again and the children who have been littering up your house for the past 2 months will soon be heading back to school, but...winter sucks....

Friday, April 4, 2014
$44.99 from Big Bad Toy Store »

Big Bad Toy Store says nothing--nothing!--about its forthcoming breakfast game changer, the Darth Vader Toaster, except this:...

Tuesday, January 14, 2014
$12 from Shapeways »

I mean, I'm fine getting my own glass of SunnyD, but I guess if you really want to give me some of yours, alright. Go ahead and Wave it over....

Friday, February 20, 2015
$18 - $85 from PT Ware »

Periodic Tableware is one reason why people invent new words. Like "mud-licious" and "puddle-wonderful" and, most appropriate to this case, "geektastic." This collection of scientific glassware transformed into vessels for...

Saturday, July 5, 2014
$299 - $349 from Kickstarter »

I love this bar. It also happens to be my kitchen. Or so it will be if SYNEK and its creators have their way. The countertop draft system has been designed to serve any beer fresh from the tap, preserving its original taste...

Tuesday, April 29, 2014
$29.99 from Amazon »

A can of warm beer, a cooler filled with ice, and a Spin Chill. Put them together and you'll be 60 seconds away from an Ice. Cold. Party. Prefer bottles of beer? Bottles of wine? Teetotaling with the orange sodie? Spin Chill...

Saturday, January 10, 2015
$8 from SUCK UK »

I eat grapes from the hands of cherubs and drink wine from the mouths of rhinos. Here's your chance to do the same. Or if stags and cows are more your thing, Suck UK's line of bottle pourers for booze and oils & vinegars will...

Tuesday, March 17, 2015
$34.99 from ThinkGeek »

If you thought eating sushi off a wooden boat was good times, just wait until you soy-and-wasabi up your spicy tuna roll in the heart of the USS Enterprise. The most boldly gone of all sushi sets, this nod to Star Trek features...

Thursday, January 22, 2015
$25.75 from Amazon »

Yo quiero some Super Bowl Sunday carne asada tacos! And not the ones from Taco Bell. I'd like to spend my second half glued to the TV instead of the john this year. Also, I would like 12 lovingly constructed tacos total, 3...

Saturday, January 24, 2015
$69.99 from Amazon »

Mmmm, Brazilian steak houses. Forget Chinese and Old Country Buffets, these rodizios are the true definitions of gustatory decadence and gluttony. All-you-can-eat grilled meat from the rotisserie, served table side--you don't...

Monday, December 9, 2013
$21.46 from Amazon »

I call shotgun! Wha--what the F Scott Fitzgerald, Cornelius?! You just sprayed me in the eye with...what is that, a...juicy fr--...no, a buttery nipple? You just squirted a buttery nipple at my face?! That's...that's...well...

Saturday, January 19, 2013
$12.99 from Amazon »

People think I drink only Kool-Aid and sodie pop because I'm immature and unrefined, but really it's because water is such a yawn. I need the excitement and intrigue of carbonation and colors insulting to nature in my beverages....

Wednesday, November 26, 2014
$25 from red dot »

Naomi is like one of those girls who is incredibly hot and arousing, but also kind of stony and completely unapproachable. Dare speak to her, or even look at her for one beat too long, and she'll crush your nuts like a...like...

Sunday, January 4, 2015
$13.25 from Amazon »

One discerning observation the Japanese have made is that Americans don't eat enough pandas. And while bureaucratic export regulations and some malarkey about endangered species have prevented them from selling panda meat...

Tuesday, June 24, 2014
$6.10 from Amazon »

Summer music festivals, baseball games, and days in the park with the kids are about to get a whole lot jollier. Instead of SPF 30, this innocuous bottle of responsible adult sunscreen contains room for 8 fl. oz. of ABV 40....

Tuesday, January 13, 2015
$59.95 - $68.95 from Amazon »

In the past I've definitely been known to shove a 6-pack in my backpack in preparation for a hike or particularly long day at school, but I never expected to be able to enjoy it cold when the 10 a.m. thirst took hold. But...

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Sculpting 3D bears and puppy dogs out of foamed milk to float in a latte seems like a lot of trouble to me. Trouble that will be ruined the instant the jackhole I went to all the trouble for decides she is going to drink the...

Friday, June 6, 2014

In an attempt to address the issues of saving money, supporting green, running late, and being bored, Hey Joe has developed a travel mug that brews its own coffee. It's a self-contained purveyor of caffeine that hopes to eliminate:...

Friday, February 22, 2013
$25 from Umoro »

As a supplement fiend--I especially like the ones whose claims have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA--I gotta recognize the Umoro One first for concept alone. A sport bottle whose lid doubles as a powder and supplement...

Wednesday, August 6, 2014
$44 from Amazon »

It's no Saddleback Leather Classic in appearance, and I'm sure it doesn't come with a 100-year warranty, but the Beer Briefcase can still serve a purpose, and play a notable supporting role in a man's life. It can replace...

Thursday, February 6, 2014
$19.99 from Shot Straws »

First off, let me say that I do not advocate taking shots through a Shot Straw. I advocate taking shots like a real man. However, if the memory of particularly rough night with Minnesotan twins, a ZZ Top fan club, and free-flowing...

Sunday, February 1, 2015
$22 - $25 from Amazon »

Stylin', reusable, and non-consuming of space. PuzzlePax makes wooden 6-pack carriers that have all the things you've ever wanted in a 6-pack carrier. Or rather, as honest parents kindly tell the children they had by accident...

Wednesday, February 12, 2014
$39.99 from Amazon »

What kind of mad Japanese scientist concoction is in these Baropacks that makes them boil water with no supplemental heating element? No fire, no gas, no electricity, not even the sun. Now I can make spaghetti & meatballs...

Saturday, July 26, 2014
$9.99 from Amazon »

Who wants some genetically modified Fla-Vor-Ice? You know, push popsicles raised in a freezer that treats its snacks with growth hormones. Yeah, OK, fine. They're just supersized because their fruit juice/yogurt/smoothie embryos...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013
$29.99 from Rollie »

Something about the cylindrical results of the Rollie Eggmaster cooking system makes me a little uncomfortable. Is it that the tube of eggs looks too artificial? Too space agey? Too science projecty? Too anal probey? I can't...

Friday, June 20, 2014
$35.77 from Amazon »

Mmm, forget the carbonated lager water, I'd like to pour one of those mocha porters into Kirin Ichiban's beer slushie machine. Caffeinated, drunk, and refreshed by hi-tech Japanese head: yes, that is exactly how I want to...

Thursday, March 20, 2014
$55 from Etsy »

Finally, a literal interpretation we can love as much as the figurative one: it's a banana hammock! Designer Biken even fabricated and hand-finished this one in genuine leather because your banana deserves nothing but the...

Wednesday, December 18, 2013
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Necessity, she is the mother of invention. Even if it takes decades--no, centuries!--of jagged edges and misshapen triangles. Of someone popularizing the word "rustic" to justify the serving of sloppy, ugly food. Necessity...

Wednesday, May 28, 2014
$70.25 from Amazon »

While Hario's Syphon vacuum pot coffee maker looks like a way more complicated way to get a cup of coffee than stopping by the drive-thru espresso stand in my grocery store's parking lot, the company deems the Syphon's method...

Wednesday, July 30, 2014
$20 - $270 from Brooklyn Butcher Blocks »

Nils Wessell makes some pretty beastly butcher blocks. And cutting boards. And solid wood beer mugs. His is woodenware for Real Men. And also women who like sturdy, hand-crafted, masculine-yet-sleek mainstays for their kitchens....

Sunday, October 6, 2013
$1,699 - $2,099 from PicoBrew »

Even at a $1,600 investment, it would really only take about 6 weeks of home brewing for me to recoup the cost of a PicoBrew Zymatic in consumed beer. For me, a 6-pack of brewskis that doesn't taste like a donkey's bunghole...

Sunday, June 29, 2014
$29.95 from Amazon »

It's like the Hopside Down Beer Glass but with more of a bang. And I hear even better than a punctured aluminum can for shotgunning a Bud Light. As you can imagine, filling the the 50 Caliber Bullet Beer Glass requires minimal...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013
$16.09 from Firebox.com »

In lieu of spending $80 grand on the Talking Periodic Table of Swearing coffee table I think I might part with my Andrew Lincoln and go for the Periodic Table of Swearing mug instead. Granted, it doesn't blurt heinous profanities...

Saturday, February 28, 2015
$14.22 from Amazon »

After 83 years with us the pure legend who was Mr. Spock is gone. I'm sure we all share the hope that, wherever he and his alter ego, Leonard Nimoy, have gone, they live long and prosper....

Tuesday, January 20, 2015
$22.45 from Amazon »

Is it just me or is this dragon holding a wine bottle pretty much, um, adorable? It's definitely cuter than every kid who's ever shown up in my Facebook feed even though I try to unfriend people when they produce offspring...

Thursday, January 9, 2014
$10.96 from Amazon »

Just when you thought you could enjoy a glass of beer without having your face bitten off by a shark. First the aggressive sea dwellers infiltrated our coffee mugs, and now it's our cold beverage containers. I hear they're...

Saturday, March 8, 2014

What we are looking at here is either a bit of a hyperbole or the wine version of that lady who tamed Helen Keller and taught her to communicate. It's called the Miracle Machine. It asserts itself as the world's first affordable...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012
$24.95 from iFlask »

Smokers, you've got your iStash. Drinkers, it's time to get your vice's piece of incognito Apple paraphernalia. In its ubiquitous and thereby discreet glory, the iPhone serves as the facade of subterfuge once again with the...