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Tuesday, July 8, 2014
$185 from Coolest Cooler »

Is it cool enough to be called the Coolest? You decide. After months of anticipation (well, my 6-packs, margarita mix, and I were waiting with bated breath) the Coolest Cooler has finally launched its Kickstarter campaign....

Wednesday, December 17, 2014
$199.99 from Amazon »

Behind Door #1 we have...a full-length pantry of Combos and Cap'n Crunch! And Behind Door #1-1/2 we have...a dozen classic NES cartridges, a coupla Koosh balls, and VHS cassettes of the best porn from my childhood (circa 1985...

Saturday, November 8, 2014
$7 from Sriracha2Go »

I know there are a few problems with this Sriracha keychain. Like in addition to enabling me to deliberately put Sriracha on my breakfast burritos and Philly cheese dips on the go, it's also going to enable me to inadvertently put Sriracha on my crotch and vehicle registration when I carry it around in my pocket or glove box. Also, for being travel size, the keychain is still kind of huge....

Wednesday, September 17, 2014
$20 - $35 from Mighty Mug »

We've all done it: knocked over a cup of coffee/sodie/water/vodka tonic at work and ruined something important. Like my entire week. Jayme Smaldone and his Mighty Mug cohorts blew out an important office computer with a spill....

Sunday, September 28, 2014
$14.95 from Corkcicle »

One thing I can't stomach is getting piss drunk on piss warm whiskey. And though I do enjoy the array of giant cubes and fancy globes and Darth Vader-shaped ice molds now available for me to chill it with, their stubborn conformance...

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Are normal home brewing kits typically boring and ugly? I don't really know, as I focus more on drinking beer than making beer (best to funnel all of your energy into a single channel and dominate it!) but whatever normal kits are, I'm pretty sure the Beer Tree is their superior. Designed by Freddie Paul as his final project for a BSc in Product Design from London South Bank University, this gravity-fed...

Tuesday, December 3, 2013
$6.95 from Can Stamp »

Ever since the days of colonialism and the American Frontier...no...way before that. Ever since the days animals began eking out a drop more urine even when they didn't have to pee just so that they could piss on things, we...

Sunday, October 19, 2014
$99 - $129 from Growler Werks »

Stuff like the uKeg, a portable pressurized growler for tap-fresh beer on demand, always comes from Oregon. Those dudes love their microbrews. And they're mad scientific geniuses about flooding the industry with tasty craft...

Wednesday, November 26, 2014
$25 from red dot »

Naomi is like one of those girls who is incredibly hot and arousing, but also kind of stony and completely unapproachable. Dare speak to her, or even look at her for one beat too long, and she'll crush your nuts like a...like...

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Are you kidding me? An Argentine made the DestapaBanana flavor injector? Not Ron Popeil or some borderline obese overenthusiastic dude with a pet monkey on Shark Tank?...

Friday, May 30, 2014
$349 from eCool »

All this cooler needs to keep beer cold is a shovel and 3 feet of ground. So, yeah. Throw one eCool in the bug out bag, Mama! Buried in the earth (and optionally also through a cut-out in wood decking or a concrete patio)...

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Sculpting 3D bears and puppy dogs out of foamed milk to float in a latte seems like a lot of trouble to me. Trouble that will be ruined the instant the jackhole I went to all the trouble for decides she is going to drink the...

Saturday, September 6, 2014
$174.95 from MagicalButter »

Easily make medicinal butter, oils, tinctures, lotions, and sauces. Hear that? MagicalButter is so named for its power to convert healing herbs into healing herb culinary creations. So start coughing and breaking into a cold...

Sunday, March 30, 2014
$999 - $1,200 from Natural Machines »

I am 0% surprised that someone made a 3D food printer. If we can print jewelry and home decor and machine parts and sugar, why shouldn't we be able to print dinner? Barcelona-based company Natural Machines has created the...

Saturday, August 16, 2014
$85.82 from Amazon »

The worst part of the year is upon us: the end of summer. True, football is starting again and the children who have been littering up your house for the past 2 months will soon be heading back to school, but...winter sucks....

Tuesday, December 2, 2014
$45 - $65 from Etsy »

Leave the gun. Take the cannoli. We'll wash it down with my flask of Remy Martin....

Friday, April 25, 2014
$24.95 from Amazon »

Willy Wonka is a pseudonym. His real name is Geraint Krumpe. And in these health-conscious, no-sugar, no-carb, caveman-diet times, he's traded in the chocolate factory for endless crates of protein powerhouses, and one more...

Saturday, July 5, 2014
$299 - $349 from Kickstarter »

I love this bar. It also happens to be my kitchen. Or so it will be if SYNEK and its creators have their way. The countertop draft system has been designed to serve any beer fresh from the tap, preserving its original taste...

Tuesday, January 14, 2014
$12 from Shapeways »

I mean, I'm fine getting my own glass of SunnyD, but I guess if you really want to give me some of yours, alright. Go ahead and Wave it over....

Friday, April 4, 2014
$44.99 from Big Bad Toy Store »

Big Bad Toy Store says nothing--nothing!--about its forthcoming breakfast game changer, the Darth Vader Toaster, except this:...

Tuesday, April 29, 2014
$29.99 from Amazon »

A can of warm beer, a cooler filled with ice, and a Spin Chill. Put them together and you'll be 60 seconds away from an Ice. Cold. Party. Prefer bottles of beer? Bottles of wine? Teetotaling with the orange sodie? Spin Chill...

Tuesday, June 24, 2014
$6.53 from Amazon »

Summer music festivals, baseball games, and days in the park with the kids are about to get a whole lot jollier. Instead of SPF 30, this innocuous bottle of responsible adult sunscreen contains room for 8 fl. oz. of ABV 40....

Wednesday, August 6, 2014
$44.99 from Perpetual Kid »

It's no Saddleback Leather Classic in appearance, and I'm sure it doesn't come with a 100-year warranty, but the Beer Briefcase can still serve a purpose, and play a notable supporting role in a man's life. It can replace...

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

While I'm pretty sure this would be the most expensive popcorn bowl--and maybe bowl period--you'd ever own, if you are a popcorn fiend, or a Sesame Street-style Popcorn Monster, you might like a $75 popped corn receptacle...

Saturday, July 26, 2014
$9.99 from Amazon »

Who wants some genetically modified Fla-Vor-Ice? You know, push popsicles raised in a freezer that treats its snacks with growth hormones. Yeah, OK, fine. They're just supersized because their fruit juice/yogurt/smoothie embryos...

Monday, December 9, 2013
$18.99 from Amazon »

I call shotgun! Wha--what the F Scott Fitzgerald, Cornelius?! You just sprayed me in the eye with...what is that, a...juicy fr--...no, a buttery nipple? You just squirted a buttery nipple at my face?! That's...that's...well...

Friday, June 6, 2014

In an attempt to address the issues of saving money, supporting green, running late, and being bored, Hey Joe has developed a travel mug that brews its own coffee. It's a self-contained purveyor of caffeine that hopes to eliminate:...

Wednesday, July 30, 2014
$20 - $270 from Brooklyn Butcher Blocks »

Nils Wessell makes some pretty beastly butcher blocks. And cutting boards. And solid wood beer mugs. His is woodenware for Real Men. And also women who like sturdy, hand-crafted, masculine-yet-sleek mainstays for their kitchens....

Sunday, September 21, 2014
$17.99 from Perpetual Kid »

It's only natural that a company called Perpetual Kid would be selling a Mitten Flask. Ahhh, mittens. I lost so many of them sledding during Christmas vacation as a precocious 7-year-old. And ahhh, flasks. I always had my...

Friday, June 20, 2014
$53.96 from Amazon »

Mmm, forget the carbonated lager water, I'd like to pour one of those mocha porters into Kirin Ichiban's beer slushie machine. Caffeinated, drunk, and refreshed by hi-tech Japanese head: yes, that is exactly how I want to...

Saturday, January 19, 2013
$15.04 from Amazon »

People think I drink only Kool-Aid and sodie pop because I'm immature and unrefined, but really it's because water is such a yawn. I need the excitement and intrigue of carbonation and colors insulting to nature in my beverages....

Wednesday, February 12, 2014
$41.37 from Amazon »

What kind of mad Japanese scientist concoction is in these Baropacks that makes them boil water with no supplemental heating element? No fire, no gas, no electricity, not even the sun. Now I can make spaghetti & meatballs...

Thursday, February 6, 2014
$19.99 from Shot Straws »

First off, let me say that I do not advocate taking shots through a Shot Straw. I advocate taking shots like a real man. However, if the memory of particularly rough night with Minnesotan twins, a ZZ Top fan club, and free-flowing...

Wednesday, May 28, 2014
$45.25 from Amazon »

While Hario's Syphon vacuum pot coffee maker looks like a way more complicated way to get a cup of coffee than stopping by the drive-thru espresso stand in my grocery store's parking lot, the company deems the Syphon's method...

Sunday, June 29, 2014
$29.95 from Amazon »

It's like the Hopside Down Beer Glass but with more of a bang. And I hear even better than a punctured aluminum can for shotgunning a Bud Light. As you can imagine, filling the the 50 Caliber Bullet Beer Glass requires minimal...

Saturday, June 28, 2014
$680 - $1,275 from BoozeBots »

More compact, less daunting, and less expensive (though still not cheap) takes on the previously Kickstarted Bartendro, BoozeBots are drink-slinging robots. Machines that siphon connected ingredients and use a library of over...

Thursday, September 11, 2014
$27.84 from Amazon »

A 20-gauge shotgun shell thermos that holds only 16 ounces of liquid! Could they not have added 4 ounces so it makes more sense? Why is it so difficult for people to be smart and think logically? Anyway, this Shotshell insulated...

Thursday, March 20, 2014
$55 from Etsy »

Finally, a literal interpretation we can love as much as the figurative one: it's a banana hammock! Designer Biken even fabricated and hand-finished this one in genuine leather because your banana deserves nothing but the...

Sunday, August 17, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

Ahhh, full grain leather, a 6-pack of fine brew, and...physical activity? Blech. Can we swap that last one out for a cigar? No? That would defeat the entire purpose of Fyxation's bike-mounted beer caddy? Well. Alright. I guess...

Saturday, March 8, 2014

What we are looking at here is either a bit of a hyperbole or the wine version of that lady who tamed Helen Keller and taught her to communicate. It's called the Miracle Machine. It asserts itself as the world's first affordable...

Wednesday, December 18, 2013
$19.99 from ThinkGeek »

Necessity, she is the mother of invention. Even if it takes decades--no, centuries!--of jagged edges and misshapen triangles. Of someone popularizing the word "rustic" to justify the serving of sloppy, ugly food. Necessity...

Friday, February 22, 2013
$25 from Umoro »

As a supplement fiend--I especially like the ones whose claims have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA--I gotta recognize the Umoro One first for concept alone. A sport bottle whose lid doubles as a powder and supplement...

Tuesday, March 19, 2013
$29.99 from Rollie »

Something about the cylindrical results of the Rollie Eggmaster cooking system makes me a little uncomfortable. Is it that the tube of eggs looks too artificial? Too space agey? Too science projecty? Too anal probey? I can't...

Thursday, January 9, 2014
$8.97 from Amazon »

Just when you thought you could enjoy a glass of beer without having your face bitten off by a shark. First the aggressive sea dwellers infiltrated our coffee mugs, and now it's our cold beverage containers. I hear they're...

Wednesday, November 20, 2013
$16.09 from Firebox.com »

In lieu of spending $80 grand on the Talking Periodic Table of Swearing coffee table I think I might part with my Andrew Lincoln and go for the Periodic Table of Swearing mug instead. Granted, it doesn't blurt heinous profanities...

Sunday, October 6, 2013
$1,699 - $2,099 from PicoBrew »

Even at a $1,600 investment, it would really only take about 6 weeks of home brewing for me to recoup the cost of a PicoBrew Zymatic in consumed beer. For me, a 6-pack of brewskis that doesn't taste like a donkey's bunghole...

Wednesday, January 8, 2014
$144 from Amazon »

I have a hard time believing that fried food tastes like fried food if it's not fried fully submerged in the succulent greasiness of oils corn, palm, peanut, or pig. But, since I'd prefer not to have my first dance with heart...

Sunday, July 20, 2014

No more must you be the son of God or the father of Luke Skywalker to have your face toasted on a piece of whole wheat. Burnt Impressions, a Vermont-based novelty toaster company, will take any hi-res photo selfie you've got--or...

Saturday, January 4, 2014
$239.68 - $573.97 from Amazon »

These Pelican coolers have 7- 10-day ice retention properties. That's pretty good. Nowhere near those of my ex, who has retained the ice in her heart for, like, 2 years now, but for a cooler, pretty good. Coined Elite Marine...

Tuesday, May 6, 2014
$59 from Amazon »

Big Boss Swirlio. Damn. A frozen fruit dessert machine came up with that name before I did. He's not even intimidating or dressed in a floor-length ferret fur coat. I bet the ladies love Big Boss Swirlio though. They'll eat...

Friday, March 14, 2014

You can make all the tender meat jokes you want, but when it comes down to it, you know you like tender meat. I like tender meat. Tender and infused with flavor. Mmmmmm....

Tuesday, July 29, 2014
$149.99 from ThinkGeek »

If you can solve this Rubik's Cube in 2 minutes or less I'll give you 1 million dollars. Awwww, shucks. Yeah, I did know the the segments don't actually move. Why else would I put the offer on the table? I don't think I even...

Friday, January 18, 2013
$29.99 from Amazon »

To illustrate what awaits future owners of a Nut Butter Maker (i.e., my mama), I have included photos of some of the pulverized-peanut-themed treats I would like to have made for me. From left to right, they include:...

Friday, June 6, 2014
By: Flatev

I know store-bought tortillas aren't exactly a wallet vacuum, and making them yourself won't really save any money, but if Flatev's claims are to be trusted, this electric countertop tortilla churner requires 0 skills to operate...

Wednesday, October 24, 2012
$24.95 from iFlask »

Smokers, you've got your iStash. Drinkers, it's time to get your vice's piece of incognito Apple paraphernalia. In its ubiquitous and thereby discreet glory, the iPhone serves as the facade of subterfuge once again with the...

Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

I have to say, as superfluous to life as a heated butter spreader is, it would be kind of nice to have a SpreadThat! when I slice off a brick of ice cold Land O'Lakes and then mangle the ever-loving churned bovine secretions...

Sunday, April 20, 2014
$69.99 from Amazon »

I like inducing things alright. Normally it's the ire of others and a wicked hangover with fine Hornitos tequila. But now I can also induce the proverbial flames of fire with Duxtop's induction cooktop. And, even better, in...

Sunday, May 11, 2014
$159.99 from Amazon »

While the Fryin' Saucer, an outdoor propane deep fryer, can't perform as many tricks as the similarly-fashioned Blacktop 360 Party Hub grill, it is much more compact and portable, and could prove be kingdom come for anyone...

Monday, September 15, 2014
$149.95 from Amazon »

If you had a Prep Pad bumper sticker it would say, My food scale is an honor student. More than just showing how much the avocado weighs and flashing some pre-programmed nutritional information about a pound of pork loin...

Tuesday, December 31, 2013
$14.99 from ThinkGeek »

Sure a ninja mug is cool, but if you get one you're never going to be able to find it. Even if it's just sitting there, in the middle of your desk, right in front of your face. Ninja mugs are seen only when they want to be...

Sunday, August 10, 2014
$38.50 from Hot Rockin' Belle »

Welcome to Shark Week 2014. Well, we're mere hours from its launch anyway. And you know you're going to want to crack a brew at 8/7 Central Time tonight when things officially kick off. Too late to use this wicked wall-mounted...

Sunday, November 24, 2013
$29.99 from ThinkGeek »

I hope the electromagnetic fields projected by these Iron Man 3 glowing Arc Reactor coasters will keep my drinks safe this holiday season from particulates of snot and saliva ejected by fellow partygoers whose mothers never...

Monday, August 26, 2013
$33 from Unikia »

Compleat's FoodSkin seems like a better idea than a Ziploc bag because your sandwich won't rip or fall apart as you stuff it inside or later try to yank it back out. And it seems like a better idea than saran wrap because...

Wednesday, March 5, 2014
$42 - $102 from Coco Jack »

I don't always crack open coconuts, but when I do...I usually require stitches, lose the use of my left thumb for several days, and get my mouthed washed out with soap by my mama. Coco Jack, a stainless steel push-and-pry...

Thursday, November 21, 2013
$29.99 from Amazon »

Now that Twinkies have returned to market, a homemade Twinkie maker might not classify as the same magnitude of necessity that it did for about 8 months there. But, still, it's kind of a necessity. You never know when Hostess...

Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

So, uh...you think that Obol girl in the video is 18? I mean, I'm just asking. Out of...academic curiosity. And as a way to make anti-soggy cereal bowl conversation....

Monday, May 19, 2014
$42.34 - $49.95 from Amazon »

Ahhh, nothing promotes the merger of exercise and beer drinking like summertime. Hydro Flask, makers of traditional BPA-free insulated water bottles, also have a 64-ounce insulated beer growler in their collection....

Friday, February 7, 2014
Sold Out from Amazon »

My friend Esteban lives on a boat and at the end of the summer every year he hires a diver to scrounge around the water at the bottom of his slip to try to recover the myriad items he and his friends drop over the side when...