/The-TRON-Light-Cycle-408.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
The TRON Light Cycle/The-World-According-To-Americans-1020.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
The World According To Americans/Sexy-TRON-Outfit-504.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
Sexy TRON Outfit/see-through-bottom-canoe-3101.jpg){kind=small}
See Through Bottom Canoe/Programmable-Tattoo-System-858.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
Programmable Tattoo System/double-barrel-pistol-5874.jpg){kind=small}
Double Barrel Pistol/working-pipboy-3000-5800.jpg){kind=small}
Working Pip-Boy 3000/Wolverine-Style-Hand-Claw-Dagger8097-231.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
Wolverine Style Hand Claw Dagger/mainland-usa-according-to-common-sense-2247.jpg){kind=small}
Mainland USA, According to Common Sense/zombie-apocalypse-bedding-2324.jpg){kind=small}
Zombie Apocalypse Bedding/arkham-harley-quinn-costume-2259.jpg){kind=small}
Arkham Harley Quinn Costume/20000-hypoallergenic-2708.jpg){kind=small}
$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat/zombie-apocalypse-survival-kit-2822.jpg){kind=small}
Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit/zombie-head-bowling-balls-2787.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
Zombie Head Bowling Balls/fundies-underwear-built-for-two-2254.jpg){kind=small}
Fundies: Underwear Built for Two/anatomical-leggings-2555.jpg){kind=small}
Anatomical Leggings/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
The World's Most Powerful Laser/flayed-flesh-garters-2925.jpg){kind=small}
Flayed Flesh Garters/Zombie-Gnomes-Bye-Bye-Birdie-571.jpg?mode=crop){kind=small}
Zombie Gnomes: Bye Bye Birdie/fruit-infuser-water-bottle-6437.jpg "Fruit Infuser Water Bottle")
People think I drink only Kool-Aid and sodie pop because I'm immature and unrefined, but really it's because water is such a yawn. I need the excitement and intrigue of carbonation and colors insulting to nature in my beverages. However, more...
/rollie-egg-dog-maker-7189.jpg "Rollie Egg Dog Maker")
Something about the cylindrical results of the Rollie Eggmaster cooking system makes me a little uncomfortable. Is it that the tube of eggs looks too artificial? Too space agey? Too science projecty? Too anal probey? I can't quite put more...
/homemade-bacon-kit-7787.jpg "Homemade Bacon Kit")
Would you say that bacon-themed things are getting a little old? I would. Unless, that is, the bacon-themed thing happens to be actual bacon. baconkit's nifty portable armory of curing tools and ingredients enables all swine-loving beings with opposable thumbs to turn 5 pounds of store-bought pork belly into 5 pounds of homemade pork ecstasy. more...
/electric-nut-butter-maker-6426.jpg "Electric Nut Butter Maker")
To illustrate what awaits future owners of a Nut Butter Maker (i.e., my mom), I have included photos of some of the pulverized-peanut-themed treats I would like to have made for me. From left to right, they include: more...
/umoro-one-shaker-bottle-6854.jpg "Umoro One Shaker Bottle")
As a supplement fiend--I especially like the ones whose claims have not been evaluated or approved by the FDA--I gotta recognize the Umoro One first for concept alone. A sport bottle whose lid doubles as a powder and supplement container, more...
/bubi-collapsible-bottle-7606.jpg "Bubi Collapsible Bottle")
Innumerable points to the Bubi collapsible bottle for calling itself a Bubi and including the option of affixing nipples to its top. Obviously. But in addition to these superficial treats, the Bubi bottle also boasts some practical characteristics that differentiate it from a sea of other BPA-free liquid storage containers. Flexible, scrunchable water bottles exist, sure, but most of them are made more...
/the-liddup-illuminated-cooler-7756.jpg "LiddUp Illuminated Cooler")
The LiddUp cooler's interior LED lining caters to bonfires, backyard BBQs, campsites, and anywhere else high on the drinking but low on the lighting levels normally present to assist partiers in determining what exactly they're sucking more...
/the-pedal-pub-6977.jpg "The Pedal Pub")
One time I participated in a Pedal Pub Crawl. Yeah, I know the beer bar on training wheels looks more suitable for middle-aged tourists who own a designated pair of "walking shoes" than a strapping stud like me, but I do admire its more...
/lego-water-bottle-7708.jpg "LEGO Water Bottle")
Sometimes when Shaun T. is kicking my ass and making me want to rip his face off, but at the same time helping me attain hip-hop abs and generally making me a better man, I get thirsty and want a drink of water delivered by a friendly more...
/the-iflask-5440.jpg "The iFlask")
Smokers, you've got your iStash. Drinkers, it's time to get your vice's piece of incognito Apple paraphernalia. In its ubiquitous and thereby discreet glory, the iPhone serves as the facade of subterfuge once again with the iFlask. more...
If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers' (absolutely, 100% legal) handheld bolt of pure spectral power counts amongst its marketable skills the ability to: Sear through ornery plastic, pop bitch-ass balloons, burn continuously, 24/7, without sustaining damage to its laser diode, function in 9 different operating modes, including Strobe, Constant Wave, SOS, Beacon, and Tactical Hibernation, emit 0.25 Lux of light at a distance of 6,856 meters, turn anyone it hits in the eye at a distance of 149 meters or less into Ray Charles, minus the musical talent and soul.
And if that weren't enough to get it laid every day for the duration of its 5,000+-hour serviceable life, Guinness is currently testing the S3 Arctic for the official title of World's Most Powerful Laser.
The S3 Arctic Series Laser resides in an aircraft grade aluminum chassis that's smaller than a standard flashlight.
/swig-puff-flask-6602.jpg "Swig & Puff Flask")
A swig here, a puff there, a puff here, a Chug! Chug! Chug! there. And none of those big globe or skull ice cubes to get in your way of downing the whiskey when it's flowing freely from this 2-in-1 flask and cigar holder either. No more...
/muzzleshot-tactical-shot-glass-7133.jpg "Muzzleshot Tactical Shot Glass")
A few months ago I would have been all over the Muzzleshot, a tactical shot glass crafted in the likeness of M16A2 weapons' flash hider. But after a recent, constitution-crushing experience with Fireball in DC, I'm sticking with the more...
/worlds-best-cookie-dunking-7315.jpg "World's Best Cookie Dunking Cup")
Do we really need a milk cup ergonomically designed to fit all basic sandwich cookies such that every dunk is a good dunk? Uh, are bears Catholic? Does the Pope shit in the woods? Hell yeah we need The Cookie Dunker. Designed by Awkward more...
/macallan-scotch-oakley-flask-6939.jpg "Macallan Scotch Meets Oakley Flask")
Nothing warms my heart more than the marriage of two renowned brands well out of my price range. Here, The Macallan Scotch and rugged apparel and accessories magnate Oakley have collaborated on a tactical, indestructible way to get more...
/hapifork-the-smart-fork-6417.jpg "HAPIfork - The Smart Fork")
WARNING: Eating too fast leads to poor digestion and fatness. Well. HAPIfork sure has the Appeal to Fear propaganda technique down. Their marketing team must have studied under my grandma. That said, indigestion and fatness are indeed more...
/trongs-finger-food-utensil-6265.jpg "Trongs - Finger Food Utensils")
Obviously I like eating with my hands. It goes with the territory of being a man. Buuut...I really hate when BBQ and Buffalo wing sauce get under my fingernails and into the cuts I have from doing manly things with my hands, such as more...
/nighttime-poisonmorning-7350.jpg "Nighttime Poison/Morning Antidote Coasters")
55 Hi's has already given us birthday cards that double as origami shot glasses. Now the paper virtuosos have some ideas for friendly--and not so friendly--potions to fill them with. One side of the Pick Your Poison coaster set serves more...
/bytox-hangover-prevention-5556.jpg "Bytox Hangover Prevention Patch")
Bytox Hangover Prevention Patch: Argument in Favor. more...
/beef-jerky-gun-5534.jpg "Beef Jerky Gun")
Which came first, the Weston Jerky Gun or the Sushi Bazooka? Squirted meat or squirted fish and rice? Conundrum, conundrum, we may never know. But, praise be to Zeus, like chickens and eggs, my stomach approves with fervor of both beef more...
/hat-trick-breakfast-station-4462.jpg "Hat Trick Breakfast Station")
Dorm rooms, office kitchenettes, and Manhattan apartments rejoice! The Hat Trick Breakfast Station combines three necessities of morningtime life--coffee, toast, and eggs--into one compact gadget no bigger than a standard toaster. The more...
/boska-holland-toastabags-3628.jpg "ToastaBags")
I know at least one person getting Boska Holland's ToastaBags for Father's Day. On the rare occasions my dad is forced to spearhead his own feedings, he likes to make grilled cheese sandwiches. And the way my dad makes grilled cheese more...
/yama-cold-drip-coffee-tea-4546.jpg "Mad Scientist Iced Coffee Maker")
Coffee has become a culture so packed with rabid enthusiasts and discerning connoisseurs it's hard not to compare its advocates to the wine world's oenophiles, the auto world's car buffs, and the marijuana world's potheads*. Down the more...
/doctor-who-tardis-mini-fridge-5805.jpg "Doctor Who TARDIS Mini Fridge")
Ironically, the prevailing thought I have in looking at the photo of this TARDIS Mini Fridge with the door open is that it most definitely is not bigger on the inside. Look at all that crap stuffed in all willy-nilly (to sound appropriately, more...
/lightup-saber-chopsticks-in-4404.jpg "LED Lightsaber Chopsticks")
Father-son lightsaber battles over Kung Pao chicken are about to get the LED treatment. Original lightsaber chopstick fabricator Kotobukiya continues its journey through their Galactic Republic of Replica Awesomeness with light-up versions more...
/Camera-Lens-Coffee-Mug-92.jpg?mode=crop "Camera Lens Coffee Mug")
Yes, this is actually a coffee mug. I'll grant you, it is very detailed and looks just like a camera lens, but it really is a coffee mug. It is NOT a camera lens. Don't buy this and complain to me that the photo quality is crappy. It's more...
/put-a-head-on-your-beer-mug-3468.jpg "Put a Head on Your Beer Mug")
No matter the context, the topic of head always seems to be a controversial one. Does it enhance the experience or cheapen it? How much is too much? Do you let others know when they get a little bit stuck to their face? The Japanese, more...
/dine-ink-pen-cap-utensils-6466.jpg "Dine Ink Pen Cap Utensils")
Too bad no one thought of this Dine Ink Pen Utensil Set 20 years ago when people still used pens to perform office tasks. Also too bad no one thought to name them Bite 'N' Write, which is far more memorable, clever, and likely to appeal more...
/the-go-plate-4662.jpg "The Go Plate")
The day has come. Never again will we be forced to set down either our beers or our plates before administering a high five during tailgates, backyard BBQs, and the Journey featuring Special Guests Foreigner and Night Ranger concert. more...
/popinator-popcorn-launcher-5009.jpg "Popinator Popcorn Launcher")
The Popinator, a voice-activated device that launches a kernel of popcorn from its spout to your mouth at the sound of the word Pop!, may not be in production yet, but a once-over of the video makes it fairly clear that it is on its more...
/The-Worlds-Most-Powerful-Laser-100.jpg?mode=crop "The World's Most Powerful Laser")
/willy-wonka-flask-6819.jpg "Willy Wonka Flask")
