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Rolls-Royce Champagne Chest

Posted: May 23, 2019
Rolls-Royce Champagne Chest

All the dudes who keep emailing to ask why I don't cover more gear and accessories for their superyachts? I'm delighted to appease you today, courtesy of the House of Rolls-Royce. The luxury car maker is releasing the Champagne Chest, a luxury frikkin' picnic basket for your luxury bottles of bubbly and luxury tins of caviar. And while the Champagne Chest won't cost as much as a Rolls-Royce, it will cost more than a lot of cars out there. Even a lot of pretty damn nice cars out there.

But it will really vibe with your superyachts, dudes, so you're welcome.

And for the rest of you poor bastards, might I recommend this picnic cooler and a Chambong.

The Champagne Chest's chassis - yes, they're calling the box a "chassis" - is made of machined aluminum and carbon fiber, and covered in black leather, with Tudor Oak accents. All materials also used to build a Rolls-Royce automobile. The Champagne Chest is mechanical (as it damn well better be!) and opens at the touch of a button. The House of Rolls-Royce describes the process as a theatrical masterpiece, the finale of which reveals a Champagne set for 4, illuminated from the central bay.

Champagne flutes are made of hand-blown crystal, and designed to give nod to a V12 engine. The Rolls-Royce press release goes on to describe "two thermal caviar caissons, each accommodating a 30g tin...complemented by two blini caissons..." and that's where I have to stop because, number 1, it makes me sick to my stomach that a $47,000 picnic basket exists, and number 2, I don't what the hell a caisson is.

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