Pure Titanium Beer Mug
Ivory soap might be 99 44/100% pure, but this titanium beer mug ekes out the win at 99.5%. Not that soap and titanium really merit comparison, but since they're calling this double insulated drinkware a beer mug, and beer and soap both lead to sudsing up, preferably in a Splinter Works Hammock Bathtub with a pint of pilsner, my line of thinking, as always, is still spot on.
The 99.5% pure titanium not-quite-pint glass holds 15 ounces of your favorite brew, or really any drink you like. With vacuum insulation it can keep cold drinks and ice chilled for hours, and resists condensation buildup on the outside walls. Mugs are rust- and limescale-resistant, and come in 5 shiny happy colors that I guess make the titanium beer mugs look as luxe and beer gift worthy as their price tags make them out to be.