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Naomi Spring Nutcracker

By: on November 26, 2014
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Naomi is like one of those girls who is incredibly hot and arousing, but also kind of stony and completely unapproachable. Dare speak to her, or even look at her for one beat too long, and she'll crush your nuts like a...like a...conical stainless steel spring stretched to capacity, and then released for immediate, devastating impact. With minimal effort and nary a second thought. Wherever Naomi goes she leaves piles of cracked, torn, gutted nuts in her wake.

Pretty cool, huh?

The Red Dot Design Award-winning Naomi nutcracker looks kind of like a fun childhood toy and acts kind of like a fun adult S&M toy. Not surprisingly, the kinky creation was developed by the Germans. A ball on top of the nutcracker's spring provides a grip and leverage for lifting it to accrue potential energy, while a stainless steel bowl at the bottom serves as a nut holding cell and the platform from which the condemned will meet their maker cracker. A fixed pin extending from the funneled portion of the spring is responsible for actual shell penetration.

Adding to the fun and simplistic beauty of the Naomi is the bulbous spring's resting position: as soon as the nutcracker's pin completes its duty, the spring surrounds the broken nut so shell fragments won't fly across the room or give you a corneal abrasion.