Alessi Bulla Bottle Opener
Disguised as a liquid metal trinket*, the Alessi Bulla Bottle Opener ensures they'll never see but a glint and a flash coming when, with the flick of a wrist, you pop open their beer, and put a cap in their lap.
The Bulla Bottle Opener was designed for Alessi by Valerio Sommella, and is part of the houseware retailer's Objets-Bijoux collection, "functional small objects that stand out for their expertly processed metals." In other words, it's the first step in your journey to highfalutin cold one consumption. Next steps include getting some Pretentious Beer Glasses and a collection of small batch craft brews that come only in 22 ounce bottles. Oh, or a single bottle of Samuel Adams Utopias beer, in which case fancy-pants beer drinker or not, I'll join you for a Prost!.
*Or pendant, if you need a gift for your girlfriend that also makes her an unknowing participant in your life of bottle poppin' intrigue.