Soylent Coffiest
- Mountain House, Just In Case Food Bucket - $68.79
- Soylent Powder (1-Week Supply) - $96.95
- 2017 Inspection US Military MRE A and B Case - $189.48
- GoCubes Chewable Coffee - $39.00
- Thrive Culinary Algae Oil - $11.99
A few years ago we got our first taste of Soylent, a meal replacement drink that essentially amounts to dog food for humans. (Yeah, yeah, or maybe...it is humans!) Day in, day out, Soylent tastes exactly the same, and provides exactly the same number of calories, grams of protein and fat, and percentage of the RDA for about 2 dozen nutrients. It's a swell option for people who are in a hurry, don't want to plan meals, or don't give two tuna pokes about food.
Now Soylent has added a second flavor, and an extra kick to your 14-ounce morning meal. Don't worry, it's not turning your dog food into some sous vide-d culinary monstrosity with Imperial Spherificated tomatoes and a lamb rectum cracker. More like giving you a choice between beef Alpo or chicken. And also eliminating the need to double fist it in the a.m. with a Soylent and a cup of coffee because Soylent Coffiest combines the two.
Like Soylent Original, Coffiest contains 400 calories and imbues your system with 20% of your daily nutritional requirements. But it adds to that real, lightly-roasted coffee, and the same amount of caffeine as two 8-ounce cups.
Ironically, given its cinematic origins, both Soylent and Soylent Coffiest are plant-based formulas, and 100% vegan. They are also lactose- and nut-free. In addtion to coffee, Coffiest ingredients include soy protein, algal oil, and l-theanine, the latter to help reduce the "jitters" that can result from drinking caffeine.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
/moccamaster-kbgv-select-coffee-62187.jpg?mode=crop "Moccamaster KBGV Select Coffee Maker")
Moccamaster KBGV Select Coffee Maker
Moccamaster's KBGV Select Coffee Maker is able to brew both a half and a full carafe of coffee to the Golden Cup Standard established by the Specialty Coffee Association. Wow! That means...nothing to me...
/ginnie-juicer-compact-61537.jpg?mode=crop "Ginnie Juicer - Compact Masticating Slow Juicer")
Ginnie Juicer - Compact Masticating Slow Juicer
"Ginnie" is a very nice name for a juicer. Ginnie sounds cute. And this compact kitchen gadget that won't take up more than a 5" footprint on your countertop most definitely is. Ginnie sounds fun. The juicer comes in...
/pringles-flavored-instant-35228.jpg?mode=crop "Pringles-Flavored Instant Ramen Noodles")
Pringles-Flavored Instant Ramen Noodles
Pringles-flavored instant ramen noodles are coming! And! And! Ramen-flavored Pringles potato chips are coming! In honor of Pringles' 50th anniversary and Super Cup's 30th anniversary, the brands have teamed up on a mashup...
The Groundfridge
Bomb shelter? Underground fort? Not really. But Dutch designer Floris Schoonderbeek's Groundfridge is big enough for me to pop a squat inside and go all Jabba the Hutt chowing down on the 1,100 pounds food and drink she...
The Fat Magnet
I know a lot of fat magnets. I bet you do too. Most of them look more like an ass in need of a run around the block than a reimagined dreidel though. But this Fat Magnet, the dreidel kind, is actually here to help the...
/flowering-penis-coffee-mugs-28372.jpg "Flowering Penis Coffee Mug")
Flowering Penis Coffee Mug
For all the ladies (and fellas!) who count floral patterns and penises amongst their favorite things, have I got a mug of a gift for you. Clothing and accessory brand HUMAN goes for a very anatomical part of being one...
Foodini 3D Food Printer
I am 0% surprised that someone made a 3D food printer. If we can print jewelry and home decor and machine parts and sugar, why shouldn't we be able to print dinner? Barcelona-based company Natural Machines has created...
/wake-n-bake-coffee-mug-22533.jpg "Wake 'n' Bake Coffee Mug")
Wake 'n' Bake Coffee Mug
There are a ton of these wake 'n' bake mugs out there, but I went with the delightful navy blue one you see here because its marketing is genius. Coffee or tea alongside my morning tokes? Pssshhh, F that. Fill that pipe...
The Barisieur Coffee Brewing Alarm Clock
Josh Renouf knows what the world really needs: coffee. Stat. Like, the second it opens its eyes. And it needs it served from The Barisieur, an alarm clock topped with implements from Beaker's lab. Very nice, Mr. Renouf...
/things-that-make-you-go-mmm-52103.jpg?mode=crop "Things That Make You Go Mmm: 19 Food Gifts for 2021")
Things That Make You Go Mmm: 19 Food Gifts for 2021
My 19-course collection of food gifts for 2021 isn't just a meal of highfalutin foods for foodies, it's a meal of things that make you go Mmm even if you're just a normal human being who likes to consume food. Or cook...
/imperial-spherificator-turn-18498.jpg "Imperial Spherificator - Turn Any Food Into Caviar")
Imperial Spherificator - Turn Any Food Into Caviar
The Imperial Spherificator. Sounds like something you'd find alongside Mega Maid in Lord Dark Helmet's cache of planet-destroying weapons. But in fact, this superbly named device isn't meant for destruction or Mel Brooks...
Dyson Cyclone Belt Coffee Machine
Dyson keeps your life clean, cool, and now--if Jaehyo Lee's concept for a coffee maker comes to percolation--caffeinated. The Dyson Cyclone Belt Coffee Machine repurposes the technology of Dyson's vacuum cleaners and...