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Russian Space Food

By: on September 14, 2016
$58.99
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Tubes of Russian Space Food. Hmmm, those don't look suspicious at all. You know, it's not really a question of how much you're willing to pay for the chance to eat 3 authentic cosmonaut meals, but of whether or not your friend Cornelius' new girlfriend's NFL season tickets would be worth potentially melting your internal organs or mutating into Sloth from The Goonies when he hands you a tube of Borscht and dares you to suck it all down.

I think nyet.

They say this 3-pack of "100% original" space food is the same used by the Russian Space Agency Roskosmos, and it's delivered directly from Russia. Dishes include the famous Russian beet soup Borscht...in paste form, Pork with Vegetables...pulverized to a paste, and Cottage Cheese with Blackcurrant Puree...all pasted and ready to suckle like the milk of your mama.

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Solar System in a Bottle

While Little Planet Factory, like science, has also shunned Pluto as a planet in its Solar System in a Bottle, I think they make up for it by having crafted and calibrated the 8 remaining MVEMJSUN to scale. At 1:5,000,000,000....

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Moon & Planet Lamps

$88.15 - $143.25 from Etsy »

Sleep under the light of the moon even on stormy nights, and enjoy the orange blaze of Jupiter without making futile attempts to go to Jupiter with one of these sweet spherical lamps from Pulsar Moonlight. Each is a unique...

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The Can Cannon Soda Can Launcher

$398.95 from XProducts »

Big & Rich recommend ladies save a horse, ride a cowboy, and the Can Cannon recommends cowboys save a bullet, fire a shook-up sodie can....

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Dartz Prombron Black Shark SpyKar

Almost more than I would recommend checking out Russian car maker Dartz's Prombron Black Shark--a vehicle they term the world's first real SpyKar--I would recommend checking out what Dartz head Leo Yankelovich has to...

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RPG-7 Bottle Launcher

Discontinued

Why is it that the toys you or I make with our buddies from scrap lengths of pipe and sheet metal the year we take high school physics always end up as legitimate, purchasable commodities developed and manufactured by...

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HM6 Space Pirate Watch

$230k from MB&F »

You gotta have some balls to call your watch an "horological machine" and charge over $200 grand for it. And MB&F's HM6 Space Pirate is definitely a watch with balls. Five of them, to be exact. The timepiece's transparent...

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Lumus Ring

$99 - $130 from Kickstarter »

We've seen rings lined with whiskey barrels, dinosaur bone, and escape tools. But never before has there been one lined with Laser Luminance. Lumus Rings are titanium or carbon fiber outer bands

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Balloon Capsule Ride to the Edge of Earth

$75k from World View »

Lance Bass, your dreams of space travel may be alive yet. Presuming you'd be willing to settle for a hot air balloon ride at the edge of the earth instead of an actual interstellar sojourn. Arizona-based aerospace firm...

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Glow-in-the-Dark Galaxy Underwear

$15 from Etsy »

If you liked Black Milk Clothing's Galaxy Purple Leggings, take a gander at Portland, Oregon-based Make It Good's Glow-in-the-Dark Galaxy Underwear. Available in both women's bikini cuts and men's boxer briefs the black...

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Astrophysics for People in a Hurry

$11.37 from Amazon »

I wonder if calling Neil deGrasse Tyson's book about astrophysics one for "people in a hurry" is a nice way of saying it's really for people who have no quarkin' chance of understanding astrophysics outside of Tyson taking...

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Thug Kitchen 101: Fast as F*ck

$17 from Amazon »

All the thugliness, half the effort. Thug Kitchen: Eat Like You Give a F*ck follows up its bestselling debut with this faster, simpler, and more f*cking thugged out motherf*cker of a cookbook, Thug Kitchen 101: Fast as...

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The Chart of Cosmic Exploration

$38 - $145 from PopChartLab.com »

We've come a long way since 1959. Pop Chart Lab's stellar Chart of Cosmic Exploration takes us through the history of man's, and man-made machines', adventures in space. The poster lays out the solar system across the...