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Russian Space Food

By: on September 14, 2016
$58.99
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Tubes of Russian Space Food. Hmmm, those don't look suspicious at all. You know, it's not really a question of how much you're willing to pay for the chance to eat 3 authentic cosmonaut meals, but of whether or not your friend Cornelius' new girlfriend's NFL season tickets would be worth potentially melting your internal organs or mutating into Sloth from The Goonies when he hands you a tube of Borscht and dares you to suck it all down.

I think nyet.

They say this 3-pack of "100% original" space food is the same used by the Russian Space Agency Roskosmos, and it's delivered directly from Russia. Dishes include the famous Russian beet soup Borscht...in paste form, Pork with Vegetables...pulverized to a paste, and Cottage Cheese with Blackcurrant Puree...all pasted and ready to suckle like the milk of your mama.

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Internal Fire Glass Vortex Spheres

$100 - $6k from Internal Fire Glass »

Loooook into my orb. No really, check out a GIF of one of these Internal Fire Glass vortex spheres. The optical illusion is super trippy. And super... supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Glass artist Scott Pernicka handcrafts...

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Slumber Cloud Cooling Bedding

$49.99 - $210 from Slumber Cloud »

Somewhere between hot and cold there's a comfy, soft, temperate Slumber Cloud. Based on heat-absorbing / heat-releasing technology originally engineered for NASA astronauts, Slumber Cloud bedding includes a complete line...

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Solar System in a Bottle

While Little Planet Factory, like science, has also shunned Pluto as a planet in its Solar System in a Bottle, I think they make up for it by having crafted and calibrated the 8 remaining MVEMJSUN to scale. At 1:5,000,000,000....

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The Can Cannon Soda Can Launcher

$398.95 from XProducts »

Big & Rich recommend ladies save a horse, ride a cowboy, and the Can Cannon recommends cowboys save a bullet, fire a shook-up sodie can....

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Moon & Planet Lamps

$88.15 - $143.25 from Etsy »

Sleep under the light of the moon even on stormy nights, and enjoy the orange blaze of Jupiter without making futile attempts to go to Jupiter with one of these sweet spherical lamps from Pulsar Moonlight. Each is a unique...

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Dartz Prombron Black Shark SpyKar

Almost more than I would recommend checking out Russian car maker Dartz's Prombron Black Shark--a vehicle they term the world's first real SpyKar--I would recommend checking out what Dartz head Leo Yankelovich has to...

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RPG-7 Bottle Launcher

Discontinued

Why is it that the toys you or I make with our buddies from scrap lengths of pipe and sheet metal the year we take high school physics always end up as legitimate, purchasable commodities developed and manufactured by...

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Rocket Ship Potato Masher

$17 from OTOTO »

Might be a while before we can take a rocket ship to mars, so in the meantime, let's take a rocket ship to...mashed potatoes!...

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HM6 Space Pirate Watch

$230k from MB&F »

You gotta have some balls to call your watch an "horological machine" and charge over $200 grand for it. And MB&F's HM6 Space Pirate is definitely a watch with balls. Five of them, to be exact. The timepiece's transparent...

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Lumus Ring

$99 - $130 from Kickstarter »

We've seen rings lined with whiskey barrels, dinosaur bone, and escape tools. But never before has there been one lined with Laser Luminance. Lumus Rings are titanium or carbon fiber outer bands

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Balloon Capsule Ride to the Edge of Earth

$75k from World View »

Lance Bass, your dreams of space travel may be alive yet. Presuming you'd be willing to settle for a hot air balloon ride at the edge of the earth instead of an actual interstellar sojourn. Arizona-based aerospace firm...

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This Book Is a Planetarium

$25.19 from Amazon »

This Book Is a Planetarium picks up right where your homemade eclipse viewer skills left off. You don't even need an empty Rice Krispies box or aluminum foil. Kelli Anderson's collection of functional doohickies are all...