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Russian Space Food

By: on September 14, 2016
Russian Space Food
$59
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Tubes of Russian Space Food. Hmmm, those don't look suspicious at all. You know, it's not really a question of how much you're willing to pay for the chance to eat 3 authentic cosmonaut meals, but of whether or not your friend Cornelius' new girlfriend's NFL season tickets would be worth potentially melting your internal organs or mutating into Sloth from The Goonies when he hands you a tube of Borscht and dares you to suck it all down.

I think nyet.

They say this 3-pack of "100% original" space food is the same used by the Russian Space Agency Roskosmos, and it's delivered directly from Russia. Dishes include the famous Russian beet soup Borscht...in paste form, Pork with Vegetables...pulverized to a paste, and Cottage Cheese with Blackcurrant Puree...all pasted and ready to suckle like the milk of your mama.