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Edible Chocolate Candles

By: on March 16, 2017
$9.99
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Edible Chocolate Candles are for when some little guy...or some little guy's Auntie She-Ra's boyfriend...gets a little too zealous about diving into the double chocolate with chocolate fudge and chocolate cookie crumbles between the layers and chocolate icing on top ice cream cake during his 4th birthday party. Nom, nom, nom...what's this?! I can even eat the wick?!

Edible Candles are pillars of solid Belgian chocolate with wicks of organic hemp waiting to salute the birthday boy or girl in flame when lit. Ignited, the candles burn just like their undelicious wax counterpart. You don't have to eat the wicks along with the chocolate, but they're safe for consumption if you want to, or if one of your kid's turd friends grabs one and shoves it in his mouth when your back is turned.

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T-Rex Hatching Dinosaur Egg Candle

$45 from Amazon »

Good things, such as baby T-Rex dinosaur desktop toys, come to those who wait. Who wait, and who burn. Light the wick on this egg-shaped candle from The Creative Desk and experience the joy of hatching a new baby 65-million-year-old...

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Edible Anus Chocolates

$7.32 from Amazon »

Several years ago, Willy Wonka sat down with the UK's most distinguished chocolatiers to lay down the next big release in artisan chocolate. He tried many of their stunning and revolutionary manipulations of the finest...

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Ranch Dressing Fountain

$110 from Flavour Gallery »

Hidden Valley began pouring on the Ranch dressing in fountain form last March, but I think it's much better suited for Thanksgiving, and the holiday season as a whole. What better gift for your party guests than an 18"...

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Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle

$39.69 from Firebox.com »

This is an Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle. If you've seen stranger things - say, Taxidermy Animal Drones or Edible Anus Chocolates - it probably won't bother you. And if you've seen Stranger Things, you'll probably love it....

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Melting Bloody Hand Candle

$35 from Etsy »

Now here's a bloody handy gift for Halloween. Bryan Lawrence makes these terrifically creepy candles, you guessed it, by hand, using flesh-colored wax for the outer layers of their fingers and palms, and blood-red on...

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Rekindle Regenerating Candlestick

While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep.... Working from home today.... Anyway, I applaud...

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The Loudest Portable Speaker

$875 from Amazon »

I just learned about The Loudest Portable Speaker from my newly deaf friends Maurice and Sue, who just returned from testing Soundboks' 119dB bad boy at Burning Man. Conclusion:...

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Haunted Skull Cakelet Pan

Sold Out from Amazon »

Skull "cakelets." Spooky, sinister, and...adorable. Bring on the devil's food, 'cause you're haunting me with your cuteness, little skulls....

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WTF Prank Candles

$11.95 from WTF Prank Candles »

WTF does using the term "WTF" in reference to a candle mean? In a nutshell: "Mmmm, this smells incredible! Just like the apple pie my grandma used to make with the shortbread crust and the....gaaaaasssspppp!. W...T...F...is...

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FireFly Wireless Fireworks Firing System

$199.99 - $224.99 from Firefly »

"Smart" fireworks for this 4th of July? Sort of. FireFly's wireless fireworks firing system still uses regular old fireworks to help you create your own light show in the sky, but it adds some nifty tech to make the process...

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20-Pound Chocolate Lionel Richie Head

$833.19 from Firebox.com »

I didn't think there could be anything better than having a hot chick sculpt an enormous model of my head out of clay, but...Hello! Chocolate beats mud any day. Lionel Richie. You lucky bastard....

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Igloo Party Bar Cooler with LiddUp Lighting

$154.37 from Amazon »

The Igloo Party Bar Cooler keeps the party lit up all night long courtesy of LiddUp technology. About 4 years ago, startup LiddUp sought crowdfunding for its own illuminated cooler. The campaign didn't quite hit its goal...