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Edible Chocolate Candles

By: on March 16, 2017
$9.99
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Edible Chocolate Candles are for when some little guy...or some little guy's Auntie She-Ra's boyfriend...gets a little too zealous about diving into the double chocolate with chocolate fudge and chocolate cookie crumbles between the layers and chocolate icing on top ice cream cake during his 4th birthday party. Nom, nom, nom...what's this?! I can even eat the wick?!

Edible Candles are pillars of solid Belgian chocolate with wicks of organic hemp waiting to salute the birthday boy or girl in flame when lit. Ignited, the candles burn just like their undelicious wax counterpart. You don't have to eat the wicks along with the chocolate, but they're safe for consumption if you want to, or if one of your kid's turd friends grabs one and shoves it in his mouth when your back is turned.

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Igloo Party Bar Cooler with LiddUp Lighting

$129.59 from Amazon »

The Igloo Party Bar Cooler keeps the party lit up all night long courtesy of LiddUp technology. About 4 years ago, startup LiddUp sought crowdfunding for its own illuminated cooler. The campaign didn't quite hit its goal...

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Wish Clips - Candle Holders for Drinks

$9.99 from Wish Clips »

Happy birthday, ya big lush! Wish Clips, candle holders that slip onto the rims of drink glasses, offer a simpler, more subtle, and cakeless way for thirsty adults celebrating a birthday or other special event to make...

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Edible Anus Chocolates

$5.94 from Amazon »

Several years ago, Willy Wonka sat down with the UK's most distinguished chocolatiers to lay down the next big release in artisan chocolate. He tried many of their stunning and revolutionary manipulations of the finest...

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Earwax Candle Kit

$7.89 from Amazon »

Here comes the Earwax Candle Kit just when you thought you couldn't find the perfect gift for your mom. I don't know about yours but I know my mama loves candles, and also hates waste, and based on the number of used...

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FireFly Wireless Fireworks Firing System

$199.99 - $224.99 from Firefly »

"Smart" fireworks for this 4th of July? Sort of. FireFly's wireless fireworks firing system still uses regular old fireworks to help you create your own light show in the sky, but it adds some nifty tech to make the process...

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Rekindle Regenerating Candlestick

While I would prefer a wax color more masculine than pink, I--What? Pink is the color of unconditional love and nurturing? Oh. OK, Mama.--I guess my mama likes pink. Yep.... Working from home today.... Anyway, I applaud...

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WTF Prank Candles

$11.95 from WTF Prank Candles »

WTF does using the term "WTF" in reference to a candle mean? In a nutshell: "Mmmm, this smells incredible! Just like the apple pie my grandma used to make with the shortbread crust and the....gaaaaasssspppp!. W...T...F...is...

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Milk & Cookie Shot Maker

$19.95 from Amazon »

Milk & cookies. & liquid chocolate. & shots. Maybe I'll make it through this year after all. Wait, what? I have to make it all myself? With molds and melters and ingredients from the store? Come on! I thought I could...

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The Whisk Wiper

$23.99 from Amazon »

What is this whiskcraft I see before me? You mean worming my tongue between the wire loops and getting chocolate cake batter all over my face isn't the best way to clean off the whisk when my girlfriend is baking? Nah....

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20-Pound Chocolate Lionel Richie Head

$833.19 from Firebox.com »

I didn't think there could be anything better than having a hot chick sculpt an enormous model of my head out of clay, but...Hello! Chocolate beats mud any day. Lionel Richie. You lucky bastard....

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The Best Prank Birthday Card Ever

Sold Out from Amazon »

Now my favorite birthday gifts come in the form of a Peeping Creeper at the bedroom window or talking an amateur heavyweight UFC fighter into accusing my friend Cornelius of sleeping with his girlfriend, but if you're...

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Diamond Ring Candles

$24.95 from Diamond Candles »

Diamond Candles makes candles (duh) with embedded diamonds (du...really?) Each candle is guaranteed to contain a sparkly ring for its burner to discover as the wax diminishes. Granted, they're not all diamonds, and they're...