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Private Gym Penis Trainer (NSFW)

By: on January 08, 2015
$59.99 - $99.99
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It's the one body part P90X neglects. But before you reach for a Viagra to long-and-strongify your johnson, the Private Gym would like its shot at ripping your penis to shr-...uh.... Maybe I'll go with a different idiomatic expression for muscle building in and around this particular area. Take 2: The Private Gym would like its shot at building you a boner of steel capable of achieving orgasms more powerful than the Hulk wearing Mark III.

If the claims prove true, it will also prevent premature ejaculation, enable greater ejaculatory force, support bladder control, alleviate incontinence, and improve prostate health.

The Private Trainer combines a mantra of "Squeeze and release" with an FDA-registered DVD workout program designed to strengthen your pelvic muscles over a 4-week period. Just as doctors encourage women to perform Kegel exercises, men's lower abdominal and groin areas can greatly benefit from focused contraction and calibrated movement as well. Private Trainer creators have collaborated with urologists, physiotherapists, and sexual health experts to develop this kit, and what essentially amounts to a Kegel program for men. They say it is "guaranteed to improve sexual performance, urinary conditions and prostate health," and that the Private Trainer has been proven to prevent and reverse Man's #1 most common sexual shortcoming: premature ejaculation.

Aw, come on! It only happens when I accidentally think of Olivia Munn making out with Minka Kelly in a buckskin hammock before thrust #10!

The Private Trainer is available as a Basic 4-week program and a Complete 8-week program. Both include a DVD-guided how-to on regional muscle building, as well as free online access to additional training videos. The Complete version also includes "fitness equipment" in the form of an expandable resistance ring for Jr., plus an attachable magnetic weight. Once users have completed the 4-week Basic Program, they begin a 4-week resistance program, incorporating the weight into more advanced exercises. Upon mastering the Penis Dead Lift, Private Trainer followers will receive a Certificate of Achievement and an invite to take part in either product infomercials or high budget pornos.

At least I hope so.

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