Equipment

Arm Wrestling Trainer

$17.95 - $17.99 from Amazon »

Solo arm wrestling. Now there's a hobby I never knew I always needed. More importantly, an Arm Wrestling Trainer might be the perfect quarantine gift for a man...or woman...looking to beef up their hustling skills in...

Finger Weights for Musicians, Athletes & Gamers

$69.99 from Amazon »

While these Finger Weights say they increase power, speed, control, reaction time, endurance, and finesse for musicians, athletes, and gamers, I think we can all agree those benefits come well after the very first things...

Cubii JR Seated Under Desk Elliptical Machine

$249 from Amazon »

The Cubii JR, an under-desk elliptical machine you can use while seated, merges work from home with workout from home, and makes the whole WFH phenomenon:...

My Perfect Neck Strengthener for Neck Pain & Posture

$79 - $108 from Kickstarter »

You, sweet thing, are my perfect...neck. From C1 to C7, trapezius to levator scapulae, I wouldn't change a single bone or muscle in your body part. And it's all thanks to the 1 minute a day I spend with this little contraption...

STEALTH Core Trainer - Core & Full Body Gaming Workout

$139 from Amazon »

The STEALTH Core Trainer invites you to "Plank and play games!" Hmmm. Change that to "Plank or play games!" and I'm in. I choose play games...

SQUEGG Digital Dynamometer & Grip Strengthener

$46.97 from Amazon »

Know what the SQUEGG reminds me of? Ummm, yeah, but besides a sex toy one might put up their butt? It reminds me of this phenomenon of physics I used to tell people about eggs, wherein if you place an egg longways in...

ExoHinge Resistance Exoskeleton

$75 - $150 from ExoHinge »

"You lift, bro?" "Naw, dude, I ExoHinge." The ExoHinge resistance exoskeleton - a much cooler way of saying a wearable, hands-free piece of fitness equipment - is a minimalist solution for people who want to lift weights...

Liteboxer Boxing Fitness Machine

$1,495 from Liteboxer »

Nobody show the Liteboxer to She-Ra: Princess of Power. She just barely crammed a Peloton into our dining room - it's the new head of the table - and I know if she sees this new rhythm-based boxing fitness machine our...

IronMind Twist Yo' Wrist

$45.95 from Amazon »

IronMind says its Twist Yo' Wrist will help you treat yo'self with "a new spin on lower arm training." Regular sessions with the fitness companion should build strength, endurance, and muscle mass simultaneously in your...

BlazePod - Reflex Training System

$279 from BlazePod »

What's BlazePod? Think whack-a-mole, Simon, and the personal trainer you love to hate. The flash reflex training system combines elements of all 3 - even some of the fun parts - into personal and professional kits designed...

MoonRun Indoor Aerobic Trainer

$249 from Amazon »

I hate running like Jordan hates the Pistons, but even I would be down for a MoonRun. MoonRun is a bungee- and resistance-band-based treadmill alternative for indoor runners that also happens to be completely portable...

Fusion Motion Portable Gym

$139.99 from Amazon »

The Fusion Motion Portable Gym promises "gym-quality results anywhere." Enticing! Well, for most of us. The ones who used to go to the gym and sit on the recumbent bike for an hour while dicking around on Reddit and Instagram...

Jawzrsize Jawline Exerciser & Neck Toner

Sold Out from Amazon »

Dream on, Botox and face fillers, your injectable voodoo is no match for the Jawzrsize! If the product's stellar name didn't clue you in, Jawzrsize is an aerobics class for your mouth, a hands-free fitness tool made to...

Wing Chun Kung Fu Training Ring

$11.74 from Amazon »

If everybody wants to have fun tonight, everybody should Wing Chun tonight. Don't know how to Wing Chun? I can help you learn! Haha, sike. I can hardly punch the buttons on my building's elevator without missing a couple...

Penis Weight Set

$17.79 from Amazon »

All the talk of building a prison body during quarantine made me seek out this penis weight set. Because while you can certainly do pushups, pullups, chinups, dips, and squats like a convicted felon, it's gonna be real...

Canadian Spa Company 16' St. Lawrence Swim Spa

Sold Out from Amazon »

Canadian Spa Company's 16' St. Lawrence Swim Spa is large enough to fit 17 people, but ain't no way that's happening anytime soon. Of course, neither is a thrice-weekly lap swim at the gym. Or an early-bird water workout...

Dimok Aqua Bag - Workout Sandbag Filled with Water

$74.95 from Amazon »

Even when we are allowed outdoors again the Dimok Aqua Bag, a sandbag-style fitness tool you fill with water instead, seems like a fitness companion you might want to keep in your back pocket. First, when not filled the...

Gronk Fitness Inertia Wave Workout Ropes

$119.95 from Amazon »

I actually like Rob Gronkowski, and since the whole Gronkowski family has already been running the Gronk Fitness business for years, I don't mind that he's focusing his post-NFL-retirement time on trying to sell me shit...

Birt Plate Strength System

$30 - $200 from Birt Strength Systems »

When Ryan Birt created the Birt Plate Strength System, injury was the mother of his invention. A college wrestling champion and football player, Birt injured his elbow in a football game, and found he couldn't lift a...

Gaiam Balance Disc - Wobble Cushion for Your Desk Chair

$21.98 from Amazon »

Time to start sweatin' your New Year's resolutions. The Gaiam Balance Disc is mostly a wobble cushion for your desk chair, but also partly an accessory for core strength and balance exercises out of your chair. It's a...

CubeFit Pulse Vibrating Foam Roller

$79.99 from Amazon »

Bzzzzt! No, it's not your phone vibrating. Nope, it's not the other kind of vibrating gadget in your household either. This is the CubeFit Pulse Vibrating Foam Roller. It has no messages for you, no push notifications...

Acumobility Ultimate Back Roller

$59.95 from Amazon »

The Acumobility Ultimate Back Roller is a somewhat intimidating bumpy wheel designed to release tension in the back, and reverse the unhealthy flexed, restricted state the spine tends to fall into from poor posture and...

ClimbStation Climbing Wall Treadmill

Uh, is the ClimbStation climbing wall treadmill a sporting good or a nightmare? A fun way to stay fit and simulate rock climbing indoors, or the conveyor belt of vertical horror in the REM sleep I can't wake up from?...

EMS Butt Toner & Hip Trainer

$23.90 from Amazon »

I smell a ssssssnake. In oil form. Please don't buy an EMS butt toner and hip trainer with the expectation that it's going to give you an ass like the lade in the above image. Actually, don't buy an EMS (that's electrical...