Equipment

IronMind Twist Yo' Wrist

$45.95 from Amazon »

IronMind says its Twist Yo' Wrist will help you treat yo'self with "a new spin on lower arm training." Regular sessions with the fitness companion should build strength, endurance, and muscle mass simultaneously in your...

BlazePod - Reflex Training System

$279 from BlazePod »

What's BlazePod? Think whack-a-mole, Simon, and the personal trainer you love to hate. The flash reflex training system combines elements of all 3 - even some of the fun parts - into personal and professional kits designed...

MoonRun Indoor Aerobic Trainer

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I hate running like Jordan hates the Pistons, but even I would be down for a MoonRun. MoonRun is a bungee- and resistance-band-based treadmill alternative for indoor runners that also happens to be completely portable...

Fusion Motion Portable Gym

$95.04 from Amazon »

The Fusion Motion Portable Gym promises "gym-quality results anywhere." Enticing! Well, for most of us. The ones who used to go to the gym and sit on the recumbent bike for an hour while dicking around on Reddit and Instagram...

Jawzrsize Jawline Exerciser & Neck Toner

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Dream on, Botox and face fillers, your injectable voodoo is no match for the Jawzrsize! If the product's stellar name didn't clue you in, Jawzrsize is an aerobics class for your mouth, a hands-free fitness tool made to...

Wing Chun Kung Fu Training Ring

$11.14 from Amazon »

If everybody wants to have fun tonight, everybody should Wing Chun tonight. Don't know how to Wing Chun? I can help you learn! Haha, sike. I can hardly punch the buttons on my building's elevator without missing a couple...

Penis Weight Set

$17.79 from Amazon »

All the talk of building a prison body during quarantine made me seek out this penis weight set. Because while you can certainly do pushups, pullups, chinups, dips, and squats like a convicted felon, it's gonna be real...

Canadian Spa Company 16' St. Lawrence Swim Spa

$67,203.99 from Amazon »

Canadian Spa Company's 16' St. Lawrence Swim Spa is large enough to fit 17 people, but ain't no way that's happening anytime soon. Of course, neither is a thrice-weekly lap swim at the gym. Or an early-bird water workout...

Dimok Aqua Bag - Workout Sandbag Filled with Water

$74.95 from Amazon »

Even when we are allowed outdoors again the Dimok Aqua Bag, a sandbag-style fitness tool you fill with water instead, seems like a fitness companion you might want to keep in your back pocket. First, when not filled the...

Gronk Fitness Inertia Wave Workout Ropes

$125 from Amazon »

I actually like Rob Gronkowski, and since the whole Gronkowski family has already been running the Gronk Fitness business for years, I don't mind that he's focusing his post-NFL-retirement time on trying to sell me shit...

Birt Plate Strength System

$30 - $200 from Birt Strength Systems »

When Ryan Birt created the Birt Plate Strength System, injury was the mother of his invention. A college wrestling champion and football player, Birt injured his elbow in a football game, and found he couldn't lift a...

Gaiam Balance Disc - Wobble Cushion for Your Desk Chair

$21.98 from Amazon »

Time to start sweatin' your New Year's resolutions. The Gaiam Balance Disc is mostly a wobble cushion for your desk chair, but also partly an accessory for core strength and balance exercises out of your chair. It's a...

CubeFit Pulse Vibrating Foam Roller

$74.99 from Amazon »

Bzzzzt! No, it's not your phone vibrating. Nope, it's not the other kind of vibrating gadget in your household either. This is the CubeFit Pulse Vibrating Foam Roller. It has no messages for you, no push notifications...

Acumobility Ultimate Back Roller

$59.95 from Amazon »

The Acumobility Ultimate Back Roller is a somewhat intimidating bumpy wheel designed to release tension in the back, and reverse the unhealthy flexed, restricted state the spine tends to fall into from poor posture and...

ClimbStation Climbing Wall Treadmill

Uh, is the ClimbStation climbing wall treadmill a sporting good or a nightmare? A fun way to stay fit and simulate rock climbing indoors, or the conveyor belt of vertical horror in the REM sleep I can't wake up from?...

EMS Butt Toner & Hip Trainer

$27.90 from Amazon »

I smell a ssssssnake. In oil form. Please don't buy an EMS butt toner and hip trainer with the expectation that it's going to give you an ass like the lade in the above image. Actually, don't buy an EMS (that's electrical...

Chair Gym - The Total Body Workout

$144.95 from Amazon »

Oh boy, Dad, this one's for you. The Chair Gym appears to express no irony in calling itself an all-in-on total body workout system that's "great for all fitness levels." I would add, particularly the fitness levels who...

WalkingPad Slim, Folding Treadmill

$499 from Amazon »

Flat white, flat iron steak, flat earth, flat treadmill. Hooray for flat! And the WalkingPad treadmill's slim design isn't even the coolest thing about it. This piece of home (or office) gym equipment is also foldable...

EdgeCross X Home & Portable Gym

$194.99 from Amazon »

The EdgeCross X, a home and portable gym consisting of a handled barbell, balance wheel, and resistance bands, says it can provide a total body workout that will rip you like an Olympic athlete in just 10 minutes per...

Assault Fitness AirRunner

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Go from 11MPH to 0MPH to the couch in 2 seconds flat with the AirRunner treadmill trainer. From Assault Fitness, who also make the CrossFit-loved AirBike, the AirRunner runs on human power. Your movement gets the belt...

Plexus Wheel Sport for Muscle & Back Pain Relief

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The Plexus Wheel Sport digs deep. And that's probably what you're going to have to do too to sustain the initial discomfort you'll feel pressing on and rolling along these easers of the back pain, and relaxers of the...

KettleBaby - Turn Your Kid into a Fitness Tool

$60 from KettleBaby »

KettleBaby has determined you don't need to spend a wad on web-connected bikes and treadmills, on-demand workout subscriptions, or VR trainers built into your mirror to get a stellar home workout. You just need to have...

Hydrow Live Outdoor Reality Rowing Machine

$1,999 - $2,599 from Hydrow »

With on-demand fitness classes enjoying a run as the hot trend in home workouts, the Hydrow rowing machine follows the Peloton bike template of offering up on-demand and live rowing experiences on a precision-engineered...

Gorilla Bow Portable Home Gym

$199.75 from Amazon »

If the R3BAR AlphaPro doesn't have enough curves to fit your type of strength and conditioning tool, check out the Gorilla Bow. Another portable home gym that incorporates resistance bands for muscle building, the Gorilla...