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Penis Weight Set

Posted: April 13, 2020
Penis Weight Set
$17.79
Check It Out

All the talk of building a prison body during quarantine made me seek out this penis weight set. Because while you can certainly do pushups, pullups, chinups, dips, and squats like a convicted felon, it's gonna be real hard to work out your bacon bazooka like they do in the slammer.

I mean, unless you've got a few frat brothers as roommates.

Plus, what's the use of coming out the other side of corona with a prisoner's physique if you don't have the porn star's prominence to match it?

Officially called the Glans Exerciser Device, the penis weight set is made to work with your natural C&B body mechanics to train and improve Mr. Johnson "through the weight of gravity stretch." As the images indicate, you can advance your training by increasing the weight of the ball inserted into the dongbell from 22g to 34g to 49g to 62g. At each progression you'll also need to master various exercises, including The Newton's Cradle and The Helicopter.

They say the Glans Exerciser Device is suitable for beginners, and I think that means if you feel like your penis is already a bona fide bone-ified meathead, you may need to look elsewhere. One person who tried the penis weights was disappointed, calling them "baby dick weights," and suggesting a better set would include balls weighing 450g, 907g, 2268g, and 3408g.

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