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Captain America Barbell Plates

By: on June 22, 2016

Your body's desire to lie on the couch with a 6-pack and some tater tachos versus your brain's desire to look like one of the Hemsworths. It's...Civil War!

But come on, no one has to weapon up with obesity and heart disease, or Andriol and calf implants here. We can settle all of this with an air fryer and some Captain America weight plates.

Onnit has developed a name for itself as a peddler of performance gear and apparel that cranks boring workouts up to Beast Mode. Literally. You've seen their Primal Bells and Zombie Bells here before. This summer, Onnit is avenging weakness and body fat with the Marvel Hero Elite Captain America Barbell Plates. At printing, the plates were still listed as Coming Soon to a Gym / Crossfit / Basement Near You, but Onnit was in the midst of debuting them with a giveaway. Head over to their site if you're interested in entering to win a complete 210-pound set (2 of each weight) of the plates.

Once available, the Captain America barbell bookends will fit any standard gym barbell, and come in incremental pairs of 25, 35, and 45 pounds. Plates are made of polyurethane with a steel center.

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Star Wars Fitness Equipment

$64.95 - $199.95 from Onnit »

If you weren't sweating the Dark Side before, one round with Onnit's Star Wars fitness equipment, and I guarantee you'll start. From kettlebell swings to hot yoga, Russian twists to Turkish getups, Onnit is injecting...

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Water Walker Underwater Treadmill

You know those dreams you have where you're trying to run towards or away from something, but you just...can't...make...your feet...move? It's like running through quicksand, or setting concrete, or...on an underwater...

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DC & Marvel Comics Suits

$169.99 - $349.99 from Fun.com Suits »

Holy Marvel of Washington DC, Batman! They made a suit out of you! As teased in a preview a couple weeks ago, Fun.com is releasing a line of men's (funny / monkey?) business suits in tribute to your favorite superheroes...

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Rodeo Boy Exercise Machine

The Rodeo Boy exercise machine adds some Japanese elegance, more mechanical bull aesthetics, and 6 speeds of body-rockin' power to the Rodeo Core fitness trainer we saw here a couple years ago. I'm not sure how effective...

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Private Gym Penis Trainer (NSFW)

$59.99 - $99.99 from Amazon »

It's the one body part P90X neglects. But before you reach for a Viagra to long-and-strongify your johnson, the Private Gym would like its shot at ripping your penis to shr-...uh.... Maybe I'll go with a different idiomatic...

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Bas Rutten O2 Trainer

$49.95 from Amazon »

Who wants to wheeze like a fat asthmatic chasing down the ice cream man? I do! I do! Temporarily anyway. MMA master and onetime UFC Heavyweight Champion Bas Rutten developed his O2 Trainer to build strength in a part...

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Rogue From X-Men Costume

Discontinued

It's The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants' most famous defector in living, non-Anna-Paquin form! This milliskin Rogue jumpsuit is made to order in your choice of kotobukiya with green details, classic with black details, and...

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SexFit Sexual Fitness Tracker (NSFW)

Bondara, a British sex toy online store and blog, plans to begin testing of its SexFit prototype in the 4th quarter of 2014. So by 2016...or maybe even February 2015 since I'm sure they'll have thousands and thousands...

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Motiv Ring - Fitness Tracker & Sleep Tracker

$199 from Motiv »

Say "I do" to Motiv and the ring will be your loyal fitness tracker, sleep tracker, and heart rate monitor 'til death do you part. Day and night, at home or in the gym, even in the shower and pool. Even if you gain a...

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THOR Hammer Tool Kit

Utilitarian cosplay. How many occasions do you have to use those two words together in a sentence? (And can you say them 5 times fast?) Ever since I got the ix-nay on wearing my "formal and "functional" Mongol armor suit...

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ShapeScale 3D Body Scanner

$299 - $499 from ShapeScale »

ShapeScale says its 3D body scanner and fitness tracker is "like a magic mirror that allows you to time travel. See your present and past self from any angle." Hmmm, "magic mirror," huh? Something tells me my relationship...

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Axon Fitness Stick with Light Feedback

$199 - $249 from Axon »

The Axon fitness stick, a strength tracker and trainer with LED light feedback, takes me back to my youth. To Happy Joe's Pizza Parlor & Arcade, home of a Love Tester machine? Remember that one? Squeeze the handle as...