My Pen is Huge Golf Towel
You may have shot a 70 on the golf course last weekend, but, but my pen is huge! Look at your tiny little pencil d-...oodler next to my big fat co-...lor scribbler.
Be the envy (you know what kind!) of all your friends with this dapper and definitely country club-appropriate My Pen Is Huge Golf Towel. Made of a microfiber soft plush front with S loop scrubber backing the 2-sided towel is a full-size 15" x 25" to fit any golf bag, and to complement the claims it makes with its eco-friendly digital dye.
The golf towel comes with the carabiner clip and grommet shown above, but you'll have to supply your own huge pen. And huge penis.
PS: If you happen to find the latter, here's a book on how to live with it.