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Vortix Eye Massager

Posted: May 30, 2018
Vortix Eye Massager
$445
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Know what, besides the life-size Exorcist Regan doll, I can't unsee? The 10 hours I spent watching Vikings Season 4 on a plane back from Frankfurt last week. Mine eyes, they are strained and sore. Vortix says it can help. In fact, the digital eye massager goes so far as to say it can "restore [my] vision."

The electric Vortix fits over your ocular region like a chunky, hard plastic eye mask. Or a streamlined VR headset, if you prefer. It has 6 user-selected settings to massage eye and temple muscles, in an effort to relieve tension and stress. The latter could have accumulated due to excessive screen time, reading, driving, or staring too long down the Infinite Dungeon Corridor, and may also come with insomnia and headaches. With gentle kneading the Vortix relaxes your eyes' ciliary muscles to eliminate tension-related side effects. The movement also promotes blood circulation to help reduce puffiness and dark circles, which my She-Ra: Princess of Power says yeah right she'll believe when she sees it.

When not massaging your face, the Vortix folds in half to slip inside your nightstand alongside the Pulse III or Womanizer. Pro Tip: Don't confuse them.

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