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The Last Jedi: Life-Sized Interactive Porg Plush

$24.99 from Amazon »

Even if you hate The Last Jedi's porgs, if you're a parent you're probably gonna have to buy some porg-related porg thing for your kids. And this life-sized interactive porg plush is probably the one they'll want most...

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Oahaca Pull-String Windup Toy

$19.99 from Amazon »

If you haven't fully stuffed your stockings yet, Oahaca's ready to join the sock party. Just don't get him too wound up before Christmas morning - he gets a little wild and unruly at the pull of a string...

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Motion Activated Candy Dispenser

$80 from Amazon »

I do appreciate that a motion activated candy dispenser means touchless operation and, therefore, no transfer of germs between all the grimy hands that would otherwise be cranking the metal knob, opening the lid, and...

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Luke Skywalker's Landspeeder

$499.99 from Radio Flyer »

My Episode IV A New Hope is that Luke Skywalker's Landspeeder hears the collective wail of all adult Star Wars fans and comes out with pre-order information for a second model of the replica X-34. One that supports weights...

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Air Fort - 30-Second Inflatable Tent

$59.99 from Amazon »

The Air Fort, in addition to creating a private place for me to hide sleep when my future in-laws visit and take over my bedroom next month, gives me an excuse to haul out my old college box fan. The one She-Ra: Princess...

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Benny the Jumping Bull Inflatable Hopper

$24.95 - $29.99 from Amazon »

Dude! Where was Benny the Jumping Bull and his sick Zorro mask when I was a kid in need of a sidekick (and means of transportation!) for acting out my superhero fantasies? And look. That little girl in the photo isn't...

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Nerf Mega Mastodon

$71.99 from Amazon »

You could wait for Black Friday. Orrrr, you could make today Red & Orange with Accents of White & Black Friday, and get the Nerf N-Strike Mega Mastodon a solid 6 weeks early so you'll have time to test it out yourself...make...

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SkyCurve Platform Swing

$109.99 from Amazon »

If the SkyCurve Platform Swing can support up to four kids, why is there no talk of all the fun adults such as me and my friend Cornelius can have on it? First of all, the swing's surface looks like a trampoline, and...

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The Swurfer Swing

$129.99 from Amazon »

I was wondering the same thing: what's the load-bearing capacity on this swing? Some of us are in luck. The Swurfer has a respectable 250-pound weight limit, plus comes with adjustable handles to set it at a range of...

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Chemistry Crayon Labels

Sold Out from Etsy »

Que Interesante calls these Chemistry Crayon Labels a tool for teaching "children" about the periodic table of elements, and the chemical compounds they create. I think to be polite. Because I think 98% of adults out...

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R2-D2 Bubble Machine

$54.65 from Amazon »

Bleep Bloop Blop Bleep Boop...Bubble...Bubble. With The Force Awakens on its way there is no better time to introduce your toddler (or your girlfriend who prides herself on never having seen the Star Wars series) to R2-D2...

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The Book with No Pictures

$14.28 from Amazon »

Alright, BJ Novak, it took until "BOO BOO BUTT," but you finally got me. While The Book with No Pictures is 100% a kids' book, it's one of those bedtime reads that, like Seuss and Stories for Children You Hate, is kind...

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Grand Portico Mansion Playhouse

$11,160 from Amazon »

Who's your Daddy...Warbucks? Better call him if you want the Grand Portico playmansion erected in your back yard, Suzy Q, because this definition of a spoiled child is gonna cost a whole helluva lot more than the Barbie...

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Infento Constructible Rides

$299 - $599 from Infento »

Want some quality time with your kid that doesn't involve a screen and a controller? Infento is a series of DIY kits and one tool (yep, just one) that allows parents and kids to build 11 or more different, real-life rides...

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Glow Fusion Bubbles

$4.96 - $6.02 from Amazon »

They call them Super Miracle Bubbles because they glow. At least the Glow Fusion Bubble Solution glows. The bubbles it produces appear to have about the same luminosity as every other bubble. Which doesn't necessarily...

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Skullduggery Eyewitness Casting Kits

$8.82 - $12.99 from Amazon »

Need to keep the kids entertained this summer? Need to keep yourself entertained this summer? Skullduggery's Eyewitness casting kits, an extension of the Eyewitness Books series can fill a rainy afternoon with casting...

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Magic Choc Chocolate Modeling Kit

Sold Out from Amazon »

Summer is here, the kids are out of school and home all day long... Time to occupy them with DIY projects and sugar! Magic Choc's Chocolate Modeling Kit includes wads of pliable 100% Belgian white, milk, and dark chocolate...

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The SlideRider

By: Quirky »

Trisha Cleveland invented the SlideRider for children. She took the concept to Quirky, refined her indoor stair slide's design, and is now in the midst of exploring branding and pricing options with feedback from the...

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Grush Gaming Toothbrush for Kids

$49 - $69 from Grush »

A gaming toothbrush for kids? Do we really have to go to lengths of Grush proportions, pandering to our insolent children's every inclination, in order to get them to do what they should simply by virtue of our saying...

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Ridley's Balloon Modeling Kit

$15.71 from Amazon »

Some old lady called me a clown the other day so I decided to look up how to make balloon animals. And as luck would have it, there's a whole kit and how-to guide for balloon modeling. Though it's made by Ridley's so...

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Aquapod Bottle Launcher

Sold Out from Amazon »

Who wants to try the Aquapod bottle launcher in their backyard? It shoots water-filled 2L sodie bottles up to 100 feet in the air with the assistance of nothing but its dock, a bike pump, and your foot. Got a beef with...

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Trigger Glow-in-the-Dark Knife Kit

$12.95 from Amazon »

Klecker Knives gets the kids wielding folding lock-backs young. Their Trigger knife kit, edition glow-in-the dark, aspires to teach children ages 7 and up how to build their own pocket blade model. Now at first I wondered...

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Primo - Programming Interface for Kids

$279 from Primo »

Primo is a tangible programming interface designed to teach children ages 4 to 7 basic programming logic without the need for literacy. No literacy? No reading? Pwah! Kids are just handed everything in life. On silver...

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Grow Glow Snow

Sold Out from Amazon »

Grow Glow Snow! It's not a request, it's an order, son! Get a bowl! Get some water! Watch it expand to 100 times its starting size, just like a diaper that's been pissed in*! And, if you're a real man, turn off the lights...