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Cat-Opoly

By: on December 10, 2015
$21.99
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Cat-Opoly is a Monopoly for people who really, really, really like cats. And cat videos, cat memes, cat selfies, cat forums, cat Reddit threads.... Yes, it's basically Monopoly for crazy cat ladies (and crazier cat dudes). And I'm not just saying that based on the title or the catification of the iconic board and tokens. I'm saying that based on the rules of play, which are to buy up as many cats as you can. The Tonkinese, the Ragdoll, the Abyssinian, the Sphinx, the Maine Coon--better start winning those dolla dolla bills 'cause it's cat hoarding time!

Instead of passing Go, in Cat-Opoly you SCAT! and collect $200. And instead of landing in jail you land in a cat's worst nightmare: the bathtub. Or some body of water that leaves you out dripping for 3 turns. Playing pieces include a milk bottle, mouse, sardines, cat food, fish, and ball of yarn.

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

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SureFlap Microchip Pet Door

$150 - $170.99 from Amazon »

Tired of the neighbor's cat Willard and his local gang of raccoons letting themselves in your dog door to clean you out of tuna fish and play poker at your kitchen table? Lock them out with SureFlap's Microchip Pet Door...

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QB54 - Lawn Chair Football Game

$115 from Amazon »

Get your tailgating season started as frikkin' early as NFL preseason with the QB54, an outdoor football game built around a pair of packable lawn chairs....

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$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat

Discontinued

The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds...

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Cute Ass Animals Underwear

$35 - $56 from Etsy »

Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models...

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Cat Battle Armor

$500 - $520 from Etsy »

Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training...

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Samurai Pet Armor for Cats & Dogs

Don't let that samurai-armored Shiba Inu's smile fool you. The dog is ready for feudal Japan levels of combat. See his samurai sword? Hiding there in his mouth? If I were you I'd armor up, find a weapon, and brace yourself....

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Kobayashi Mug

Sold Out from Amazon »

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that...he's gone....

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The Harambed

It's called The Harambed. Lucid Mattress says it's the bed of your memes. And I know if you've been meming at all over the past year, you've been meming about Harambe, haven't you? Well put on your PJs and snuggle in...

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The Ripple Rug Cat Play Mat

$46 from Amazon »

With the Ripple Rug, when your cat gives you that look like, "Yeah, I just rolled in and scratched up and disheveled your shit. What're you gonna do about it, son?" you can just shrug and tell him, "Not a thing, Zanzibar....

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Rusticity Wood Balancing Game

Sold Out from Amazon »

"Sure, Squirt, we can read Goodnight Moon. Just as soon as you get these wooden pegs aligned and balanced perfectly on this rocking moon disc! No, not just a couple - all of them! If you're going to be a surgeon and fund...

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The Emojibator (NSFW)

$29 from Emojibator »

"If you can't find a date, emojibate." Some of you will chuckle and others will cringe, but Emojibator creator Jaime Jandler feels all she did was bring an obvious joke to life. And good for her. A little elbow grease...