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Cat-Opoly

By: on December 10, 2015
$17.90
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Cat-Opoly is a Monopoly for people who really, really, really like cats. And cat videos, cat memes, cat selfies, cat forums, cat Reddit threads.... Yes, it's basically Monopoly for crazy cat ladies (and crazier cat dudes). And I'm not just saying that based on the title or the catification of the iconic board and tokens. I'm saying that based on the rules of play, which are to buy up as many cats as you can. The Tonkinese, the Ragdoll, the Abyssinian, the Sphinx, the Maine Coon--better start winning those dolla dolla bills 'cause it's cat hoarding time!

Instead of passing Go, in Cat-Opoly you SCAT! and collect $200. And instead of landing in jail you land in a cat's worst nightmare: the bathtub. Or some body of water that leaves you out dripping for 3 turns. Playing pieces include a milk bottle, mouse, sardines, cat food, fish, and ball of yarn.

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Deadpool Christmas Tree Ornaments

$30.19 from Amazon »

These Deadpool Christmas tree ornaments will look right at home dangling alongside the Bob Ross Funko Pop figure classing up my mantle. 'Tis the season for happy little trees and Deadpool 2 trailers....

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

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Laser Engraved Cat Rolling Pin

$23.99 from Amazon »

Meow-meow, meow-meow, meow-meow, meow-...chomp! Mmmm, nothing like a buttery bite of shortbread kitteh! You might say this laser engraved cat rolling pin is for cat people. Or, you could make an argument that it's for...

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$20,000 Hypoallergenic Designer House Cat

Discontinued

The Ashera is possibly the only cat that is acceptable for a single male to own. Because it's about the size of an ocelot, and weighs 30 freakin' pounds. And that's 30 pounds of genetically-gifted muscle, not 30 pounds...

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Cute Ass Animals Underwear

$35 - $56 from Etsy »

Etsy vendor Nichola's Knickerockers, underwear with adorable animal faces strategically sewn across one of my favorite places on earth, are pricey. But to all ladies who often get mistaken for Victoria's Secret models...

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Cat Battle Armor

$500 - $520 from Etsy »

Quick, someone get this cat a lance! He's scheduled to joust one of the guinea pigs from G-Force at high noon and only just finished his battle armor fitting. I don't know if he's ready for this. The pigs have been training...

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Life-Size Exorcist Regan Doll

$3,995 from Etsy »

The only thing worse than a Monday is clicking on a link that brings you to a life-size replica doll of possessed Regan from The Exorcist. It just happened to me, and since misery loves company, here you go, dudes. I'm...

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Kobayashi Mug

Sold Out from Amazon »

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that...he's gone....

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Stranger Fillings: A Parody Cookbook

$13.52 from Amazon »

Stranger Fillings: A Parody Cookbook continues the cookbook trend started by recipe collections like Baking Bad and The Snacking Dead. Released during the lead-up to Stranger Things' second season, the spoof provides...

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Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle

$39.69 from Firebox.com »

This is an Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle. If you've seen stranger things - say, Taxidermy Animal Drones or Edible Anus Chocolates - it probably won't bother you. And if you've seen Stranger Things, you'll probably love it....

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How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

$10.37 from Amazon »

A must-read for every cat parent! How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives consolidates 8 crucial public service pamphlets into a clear...

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The Harambed

It's called The Harambed. Lucid Mattress says it's the bed of your memes. And I know if you've been meming at all over the past year, you've been meming about Harambe, haven't you? Well put on your PJs and snuggle in...