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Objects of Desire (NSFW)

By: on February 27, 2016
$26.38
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Everyone's all on about the advancements in the computer industry. The cell phone industry. The automotive industry. But what about the sex toy industry? Isn't it about time they got the props they deserve for the groundbreaking contributions they've made to society? The sex selfie stick? The Tenga Flip Hole?

In Objects of Desire: A Showcase of Modern Erotic Products and the Creative Minds Behind Them Rita Cantinella Orrell finally exalts (or at least curates) adult toys as the "beautifully crafted objects" they are. Over 100 toys, pieces of jewelry, and accessories are featured in stunning photos showcasing their nature as high-tech gadgets or handcrafted pieces of art. Concise rundowns of the items' names and, uh, applications, complement the images, while minimal graphic clutter allows them to shine (and buzz, twist, and squeeze) on their own.

Objects of Desire takes the position that formerly don't-ask-don't-tell sex toys "are in the midst of a design revolution." They are worthy not only of their depiction as art, but also of a spot on your coffee table.

Until your mama comes over. Then maybe hide your copy of Objects in the drawer underneath.

Check out an in-depth look at some of the items you may (or may not) see in the pages of Objects of Desire in my review of Tex Toys: The 10 Strangest Mixes of Tech & Sex.

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Luxury Mile High Club Experience

$7,750 from Wish.co.uk »

Don't just simulate them in a Jet Bed, realize your aero-fantasies with the Luxury Mile High Club Experience. Wish.co.uk, peddlers of myriad activities intended to prevent life and its inhabitants from becoming boring...

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

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Boregasm Pills

Good thing yawns and O faces look about the same because, thanks to research being conducted by a handful of (presumably exhausted and horny) PhD students at Indiana University's The Kinsey Institute, they're about to...

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Japanese Electric Piston Masturbator (NSFW)

Sold Out from Amazon »

Note: The Japanese electric piston masturbator's NSFW designation serves not so much as a reminder that this device is not suitable to view at work as it does a reminder that it is not suitable to use at work. I found...

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LaunchPAD - Fleshlight iPad Case (NSFW)

$29.95 from Fleshlight »

Though it's not electric or piston-powered...or Japanese...like this friendly sex toy, the LaunchPAD does employ advanced technology in a valiant effort to enhance Man's alone time. The makers of male masturbatory aid...

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The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas (NSFW)

$11.95 from Amazon »

Is further product description really needed? First there was Georgia O'Keefe, now there is author and illustrator Morgan Hastings. Black-and-white outlines of anatomical wonders beg for your acrylic and Crayola technicolor...

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Images You Should Not Masturbate To

$9.95 from Amazon »

If you're wondering if its title is true, feed your curiosities with the photo of the dog that looks like George Costanza's mom in this book of Images You Should Not Masturbate To. And I thought the salt shaker was bad....

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Beef Jerky Flower Bouquets

Men, say it with diamonds. With chocolate truffles. With roses. Ladies, say it with beef. Jerky. In the shape of flowers for good measure. Because even though nothing will tell your man's belly how you feel more than...

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Ladobi Erotic Film Earphones

$30.69 from Firebox.com »

If you're going to spend a fine Wednesday evening listening to people F softly, screw gently, hump sweetly, ball discreetly, and then F'ing bone completely, wouldn't you prefer that they not sound like Jack Black scraping...

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Sex Positions You Never Thought Possible (NSFW)

$39.98 from Amazon »

Remember that one time you let some chick drag you to hot yoga because she too was hot and you wanted to see her do bendy things in spandex pants, but then you ended up spending the whole class lying on your back trying...

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The Pop-up Book of Sex (NSFW)

$128.76 from Amazon »

It's a good thing The Pop-up Book of Sex came to us (hard, I hear) over 10 years ago because the decade in between gave YouTubers plenty of time to put together a detailed video flip-through of every single one of the...

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Paco's Taco Stroker

Sold Out from Amazon »

At first I was like, Who the h-e-double-boner named this kitchen tool "Paco's Taco Stroker?" I'm going to make so many masturbation jokes when I write about it. And then I looked closer and was like, Holy hard-on! They...