Action Figures

Goth Angel Fantasy Figurines

$220 from Etsy »

I'm not really into dolls or fairies...anymore...but if someone wants to commission me one of Shadowsculpt's goth angel fantasy figurines, let's just say I'm not going to regift it along with the label maker from Elaine....

LEGO Strip Club

$275 from Citizen Brick »

She's mighty mighty, just lettin' it all hang out! She's a brick...uh...minifig. The lady's stacked with a plastic rack, gonna give The LEGO Group a heart attack. She's a brick........

BusyBody Desktop Animation Toy

$24.95 from Eye Think Inc. »

When Rufus Seder emailed me a video of his BusyBody desktop animation toy I was so busy (i.e., lazy) I almost didn't watch it. What are these, a bunch of little Gumbies on a mirrored merry-go-round? I've got too many...

Alien LEGO Minifig

$17 from Etsy »

Brickheads in the LEGO Strip Club better watch out because this custom-made Alien LEGO minifig is on a rampage. It seems that taking out Jack Sparrow has only incensed him more (not that surprising). Now he's extra angry...

Mary Jane Polystone Statue

$600 from Amazon »

I still can't believe they once let snaggletooth Kirsten Dunst play Mary Jane Watson. Sideshow Collectibles' statue would have made a better ultimate girl next door than she did just kneeling there silent and unmoving....

Sushi Transformers

$10.99 - $79.99 from Big Bad Toy Store »

Behold the Sushi Squadron Shirada, an army of raw fish and rice bound by seaweed and mayonnaise. Or is it? An army, sure. But are those soldiers really seafood-based or are they...yes. That's what I thought. More than...

Anatomical Gummi Bears

$39.99 from ThinkGeek »

This anatomical view of what lies beyond the high fructose corn syrup and Yellow Dye No. 5 of their epidermises paints Gummi Bears in a new light. Gives them some identity. Some humanity. Makes me feel kind of bad for...

Steampunk Optimus Prime

$17k from Etsy »

My theory is that this might actually be Optimus Prime and this guy has captured him, found some way of disarming him, and is now trying to sell him. I don't know if I'd be comfortable sleeping with this guy roaming around...

Breaking Bad Meth Lab

Sold Out from Citizen Brick »

Would LEGO ever produce and release a Breaking Bad Meth Lab? Probably not even if its CEO and Board of Directors were all required to inadvertently step on an errant brick once an hour, every hour of the day, every day...

LEGO Batman Tumbler

$199.99 from LEGO »

Do you know how many pieces are in the 1,869-piece LEGO Batman Tumbler? D'oh! Crap! I just gave it away! It must be that I'm a little over-stimulated at the sight of this long-awaited, beauteous plastic brick creature...

Dragonborn Statue

$370 from Bethesda Store »

Bethesda Store and Quake Con have produced only 250 of these highly detailed Dragon Priest Mask variants of their Dragonborn statue. From official 2D artwork to formidable 3D incarnation, the Elder Scrolls legend stalwartly...

30th Anniversary LEGO Ghostbusters

Can you believe that June 7th, 2014 will mark the 30th anniversary of the original Ghostbusters movie? Heady stuff. I feel sorry for myself that I was alive on that release date. But not as sorry as I feel for those of...

4D Vision Anatomy Models

$25.08 from Amazon »

Not so scary when you're splayed across my coffee table in 20 detachable organs and body parts, are you Jaws? Ow! F- OK, fine. Teeth still sharp in 13" long 4D model. Shark still mildly intimidating....

Darth Vader and Son Figures

$149.99 from Gentle Giant »

Ahhh, Darth Vader and Son. The must-have storybook for all dads forced to read their sons storybooks. Jeffrey Brown's re-envisioning of the Star Wars mythos speculates on how a galaxy far, far away might have looked if...

Hellraiser Pinhead Figure

Premium Format Pinhead. This should make for an interesting evening in the attic. Sideshow Collectibles has just added a salute to Hellraiser to their Cult Classics collection with this sculpture of Doug Bradley frozen...

The Bad Banana

$100 from Hobby Search »

Everyone knows that Japanese people are out of their fucking minds a little bit eccentric when it comes to... everything, but that's why we love them. This streaking flashing banana, I think, captures that eccentricity...

Hot Wheels Car Maker

$49.43 from Amazon »

Hot Wheels aren't exactly cost-prohibitive so I'll still probably just buy a few when I get a hankering to dick around with toy cars at work, but for the kiddos and handy Daddy-Os out there who dig doing things themselves...

General Grievous Sixth Scale Figure

$337.99 from Amazon »

You and your Armies of the Confederacy aren't so scary at 1/6th your size, are you General? Whoa. What?! Did you just swing one lightsaber in each hand and a third in your left foot at me, Grievous? Crap. You have fully-articulated...

Your Face Superhero Action Figure

$127.49 from Firebox.com »

I see your face on a wedding cake topper, and raise you your face on a Joker action figure. Have people always complimented your Batman-esque jawline? Admired your Superman benevolence? Bowed to your biting Joker wit?...

LEGO Architecture Studio

$170.98 from Amazon »

I have to say, it's a little disappointing to see LEGO, a pastime that has supported content diversity for decades, join the ranks of Keds, toilet paper, and P. Diddy's annual summer party, and go all white. However...

Wolverine Sixth Scale Figure

$243.99 from Amazon »

Whoa, the sixth scale collectible figure of Wolverine as portrayed by Hugh Jackman might look more like Hugh Jackman portraying Wolverine than Hugh Jackman himself. Head sculptor and painter Lee So Young and JC Hong should...

Bioloid Comprehensive Robot Kit

Sold Out from Amazon »

Though Boston Dynamics sets a very high bar with their spastically brilliant WildCat, Robotis still maintains its Bioloid Comprehensive is "not an average robot kit." And given the pretty penny they're asking for it...

Project Squadt

These little guys remind me of the characters in the movie 9. This collaboration is pretty cool and comes with a back story and a rabid internet fan base. Each "squadt" can stand alone, or form a part of a large collection....

LEGO Back to the Future DeLorean

$34.99 from LEGO CUUSOO »

When you get turned into a LEGO Minifigure, you've pretty much reached legendary status in my opinion. So congratulations, Michael J Fox. You badass. And, in adjectival form, check out the badass reason Marty McFly gets...

Ron Burgundy LEGO Minifigure

Discontinued

I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly.... I don't know what I like more: that Etsy vendor Albert Hernandi of miniBIGS made a LEGO Ron Burgundy minifig, or that he made a LEGO Scotch...

Predator Bobbleheads

$47.95 from Amazon »

The Predator bobblehead reminds me that I need to take revenge on this guy with an FJ Cruiser who parks next to me at work. He has a gold Japanese fortune cat mounted on his front dash that is perpetually, menacingly...waving....

LEGO Aliens Power Loader Kit

Discontinued

And the Minifig even looks exactly like Sigourney Weaver! OK, as much as I wanted the life-size Caterpillar Power Loader Dustin Kiska made, I find Ichiban Toys' LEGO version just as enticing and commendable in execution....

Talking Ron Burgundy Action Figure

Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline. Maybe so, Ron, but might I remind you what the studies show?...

Scarface - Tony Montana Action Figure

$199.99 from Big Bad Toy Store »

If Tony Montana--or Al Pacino himself--ever wanted a Mini-Me, this would be it. In fact, looking at the photo closeup, it's hard to tell action figure Scarface is indeed only an action figure, he's so expertly designed...

Presidential Monster Action Figures

$24.99 - $37.99 from Amazon »

Just one question: how did Romney as the Ronmy make it into this set of Presidential Monster Action Figures? Some wishful thinker jump the gun on production? Because if we're throwing in any old yayhoo just for running...

Mr. Potato Head Homer

25 years of life in Springfield are honored with a potato. Plus some bulbous eyes, a scruffy muzzle, and Woo hoo! a pink-frosted donut with rainbow sprinkles. Mr. Potato Head Homer Simpson has been released as an homage...

Your Face Zombie & Vampire Hunter Figurines

$150 from Etsy »

Looking for an undead-slaying wedding cake topper? How about an ass-kicking Mini Me? Jessica of Etsy's Jess' Shop customizes zombie and vampire hunter figurines with buyers' own faces and clothing specifications to inject...

Poseable Sterling Silver LEGO Minifig

Discontinued

For $475, a single hunk of solid .925 sterling silver cast as a LEGO Minifigure wouldn't do me much good. But divide that hunk of sterling into 8 separate pieces, and then rejoin them as fully moveable and poseable parts...

Miss Naughty Talking Keychain

$14.99 from Amazon »

Did you know the squeezable, talk-raunchy-to-me Miss Naughty Doll also comes in compact, white elephant gift-ready keychain size? Until now, I didn't. I mean, a bookish, wholesome guy like me didn't even know a full-size...

LEGO Haunted House

$179.99 from LEGO »

I find it somewhat difficult to believe that this is LEGO's first ever haunted house, but according to the man with the German or maybe Nordic or maybe Eastern European accent in the video, what lies before you is indeed...

Sekhmet From the Toypocalypse

Discontinued

This creature is made from the deaths of other toys.... after they're recycled first to make Al Gore happy. He stands 10 inches tall and has at least 5 different ways of killing you if you count squashing your head like...

Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

$20.37 from Amazon »

There is one in every neighborhood. Her lawn is left unkempt all summer. The paint is slowly chipping away from the outside of her house. You fear having any type of interaction with her. And of course, what she lacks...

Double Machine Gun Chuck Norris

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Just when you thought Chuck Norris couldn't get any cooler. Enter double machine gun Chuck Norris. Set this guy on your desk as a loyal companion, or by your front door as a crap in pants inducing bodyguard or a nice...

Star Wars Cats Pincushions

Sold Out from Etsy »

One thing I really do not like is cats. Which makes them the perfect subject for a pincushion. Their Star Wars spin trips me up a little--it's going to be way less gratifying to stab a Han Solo cat in the gut than it...

Tinysaur Kits

Not so scary after all, are you T-Rex? Tinysaur Kits assemble from stamp-sized, laser-cut patterns into 1" behemoths of ancient earth in about 20 to 30 minutes. And although I just made it sound like they do that on their...

Sports Team Nesting Dolls

$59.90 from Etsy »

Oh look, people who understand sports, a 5-piece matryoshka doll set handmade in Russia to the professional or collegiate team specifications of any rabid fan. The featured 49ers set depicts actual players. For example...

Mousemask Murphy

Mickey Mouse in a gas mask. That definitely looks Disney-approved. And I hear Mousemask Murphy is to be voiced by James Earl Jones in the forthcoming 3D animated film intended to make children insist on sleeping in their...

Bob Ross Finger Puppet

Discontinued

Imagine the joy of owning a finger puppet of the man who taught us the joy of painting. That's a serious amount of joy. I got that joy, joy, joy, joy, down in my heart. Where? God, I'm in such a great mood thanks to this...

The Hangover Bobblehead

$49.99 from Amazon »

Not at the table, Carlos. I own this miniature, inanimate, though somehow no less intrusive version of Alan, and the dude has actually woken me up in the middle of the night with his endless ramblings. It almost give...

Mini Dwight and Mose

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"When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered that I had adsorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No...