Merry F**king Christmas Wrapping Paper
Ah. It seems Mr. Garrison has forayed into the business of paper products. Merry Fucking Christmas. Come on, you know you want to sing along as you read it. Maybe tie a little Mr. Hat plush to the ribbon if you're one of the really thoughtful gift-givers.
Calligraphuck, makers of profane, yet classy, greeting cards, has your Christmas presents with a devilish twist covered. Literally. Their festive red gift wrap blends well and draws no attention amongst the other gifts under the tree, but when recipients pick it up to open, and gaze upon its lovely, elaborate script...ho, ho, ho, here comes the F bomb!
Despite its sarcasm and scrooge-ishness, I actually think Merry Fucking Christmas wrapping paper has a legitimate niche audience during the holidays. It's got to be the premiere gift wrap for people of Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, and other non-Christian faiths who feel strong-armed into taking part in the office Secret Santa exchange.
Similarly, Merry Fucking Christmas would about sum up the sentiments of boyfriends who have begrudgingly bought the engagement rings their girlfriends have been hinting they'd like--in a demanding, high-pressure, chart-topping-Beyonce-song kind of way--for the past two months.
And, of course, Merry Fucking Christmas could definitely describe what Santa Claus will be thinking as he fills the homes of children who have thrown daily tantrums about what they're gonna do to him if he doesn't bring them a PS4.
Muchas danke to Laughing Squid.