I have one thing to say to all of you who live in Southern California and Miami and Australia. You who will be sweating balls this Christmas instead of freezing your ass off making them out of snow: jerks. The only things...

Soothe sore muscles, melt away tension, and (ladies) enjoy some alone time with red wine and powerful jets. Conair's Dual Jet Bath Spa fancifies any bathtub into an underwater den of relaxation and personal gratification...

Holy crap, it's fantastical beast overload! It almost hurts to look at it, it's so stirring and extraordinary. And, according to the unicornarwhal sculpture's creators, it also explains a lot. How can a whale with a ginormous...

As a firefighter who regularly depends on the material's ruggedness and durability, Jake Starr has always known that canvas fire hose can stand up to extreme temperatures, water pressures, and beatings. So he figured...

Arm yourself for survival in the open bar. With a name as clever as its purpose, the Bar10der is a cocktail-slinging multi-tool for everyone from mixologists to party hosts who don't want to buy and keep track of 10 different...

My friend Ronnie has some of these Bose noise-canceling headphones. He says their QuietComfort power and stamina hold up flawlessly to crying babies on airplanes and log-sawing bedmates and especially visits from his...

The Gaswatch is a digital scale that sits beneath your grill's propane tank and gives an accurate measurement of how many more burgers and beef briskets you can turn out before it's time for a refill. The device provides...

Despite its quad-rotor helicopter design, 400' range, 1+ ounce weight, smooth flight algorithms, and accompanying aerial camera, the Micro Drone 2.0 is normally pretty reasonably priced at $139. Now makers Extreme Fliers...

Naomi is like one of those girls who is incredibly hot and arousing, but also kind of stony and completely unapproachable. Dare speak to her, or even look at her for one beat too long, and she'll crush your nuts like...

Well I guess I better get my mama this InstantVeg Spiralizer for Christmas if I want her to keep making me curly shoestring french fries and zucchini spaghetti on my low-carb days (i.e., every 17th Sunday). See I got...

The Delta is part of William Tell's collection of concept bows. A bow-crossbow combo, it maintains the lightness and portability of a manual bow, but adds a draw holding device and 5-pin sight and laser sight for crossbow-style...

I think we've reached a general consensus in 21st century America on the following: 1) Cords suck (unless they're fiber optic cables delivering us stuff like Ludicrous Speed Internet); 2) Bulky and cumbersome things suck;...

Hey, here's a swell way to convince children with 0 artistic talent that they can be the next Van Gogh. Make sure there are trophies on hand too for when the WaterColorBot completes their first masterpiece for them...

The Panther Air Drone is a big boy. The Dumbo of quadcopters, if you will. But still graceful and easy to maneuver with its foam body, encased blades, and built-in gyro stabilization. A 4.5-channel radio control enables...

Planet Waves says its Varigrip is the "perfect tool for pre-show warm-ups and maintaining conditioning when away from your instrument." So, yeah, it's totally a hand job trainer. Both for masturbatory efforts and those...

Combat Creatures' Attacknids are rugged, obstacle-crushing RC toys that also, true to their name, engage each other (or my neighbor's cat Willard) in combat. Models include the Stealth and Vanguard Stryders, which fire...

Some for you, some for me. Not necessarily equal parts since I usually prefer the scales tipped towards me, but enter to win Dude's Giving & Greed Holiday Mystery Box, and I promise it will be all about you this time...

Unfortunately, these iPhone-controlled insects cannot fly or crawl up my friend Cornelius' leg and make him die while he's engaged in Advanced Warfare. On screen, obviously. Off screen he would just squeal like the lovechild...

I wouldn't be surprised if the secret ingredient to concocting a jet black burger that looks like it's been roasted on the flames of hell was one that inflicted a weeklong case of Montezuma's Revenge. But, somewhat ironically...

The embodiment of ugly Christmas sweater awesome right down to the KO, KO, KOs running along its upper border. It's Ken v. Ryu...and a snowflake...in this Street Fighter spin on the most heinous of yarn creations (100%...

Cold as ice...and watered down as George Carlin doing standup at Sunday Mass. Not the best combination when you're serving and drinking beverages. The BrewTender is an 80-ounce drink dispenser sized for the tabletop and...