Household

ZEUS Thunder Vaporizer

I received a sample of the ZEUS Thunder vaporizer pen for a state-of-matter-changing test drive. Unfortunately, it was right after my mama coerced me into signing an agreement to submit to random marijuana tests in exchange...

Work Sharp Knife & Tool Sharpener

Sold Out Amazon »

Did you know there's a Hall of Fame for knife makers? Well there is. And Ken Onion is in it. And when he's not fulfilling his Hall of Fame knife-making duties, he's collaborating with Work Sharp to design this Knife &...

Horror Novel Toilet Paper

$17.95 Firebox.com »

Is this toilet paper scarier than shit? Only one way to find out: eat 4 Beef Chalupa Supremes at 10 p.m., and then settle in for The Drop when it...and nature...calls out to you around midnight...

Touch-Free Faucet Adaptor

Discontinued

Given that I chew the ever-loving gobstoppers out of my fingernails, I'm obviously not too concerned about germs. But I am concerned about touching things with Cheetos-crusted hands and getting yelled at by my mama for...

Sun-and-Earth-Powered Globes

$144.99 - $499.99 Amazon »

MOVA Globes are nothing if not resourceful. The striking pieces of planetary art not only silently rotate and glisten all the livelong day, but they do it without the use of power cords or batteries. This cosmic event...

Pyropet Cat Candle

$39 Amazon »

As if cats, and particularly cats that have been lit on fire, aren't scary enough. Now Thorunn Arnadottir had to go and make one that also slowly melts down to a sinister skeleton as the flames eat away its flesh. I don't...

Super Combo Scissors

$31.97 Amazon »

Vampire Professional Tools, first of Vampliers screw pliers and now of the Super Combo Scissors, should have hired the same person to name the latter who they did to coin the former. Or they should have hired me. I would...

EmoSpark AI Home Console

$260 - $315 Emospark »

If Her creeped you out (and let's face it, just looking at Joaquin Phoenix for more than 30 seconds straight can sometimes do the trick) get ready to have your stomach turned inside out again: EmoSpark, an Android-powered...

Wagner Smart Power Roller System

Sold Out Amazon »

The Wagner Smart Power Roller System makes the incredibly sucky job of painting walls slightly less sucky. Insert your 1- or 5-gallon can into the Wagner base and then choose the speed (1 to 9) at which you'd like the...

Black Diamond Floating Knife Block

Edge of Belgravia, previously featured for their scandalous ceramic knife meat and produce stabbings, has added this Black Diamond floating knife block to their culinary repertoire. Designed by Christian Bird, the rough-cut...

Aqua Notes Waterproof Notepad

Sold Out Amazon »

I always have great ideas and profound realizations in the shower. The greatest ideas and profound realizations. The only great ideas and profound realizations I ever have. But there's nowhere to write them down. And...

The Abyss Table

$9,960 Duffy London »

I don't know if falling onto Duffy London's forthcoming oceanic cross-section coffee table will send you into The Abyss, but I can almost guarantee running into it will stub all of your toes and bloody your entire leg...

TMNT Nightlights

$43.89 - $49 Amazon »

Cowabunga Bogeyman! These Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle nightlights--3D deco lights to be precise--don't look quite as grand as the Krang belt buckle, but I guess it fits the Hero's Narrative that Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo...

Living Furniture - Aquaponic End Table

Discontinued

Tabletop aquaponic systems--aquariums with plants watered and nourished by the fish and their digs growing soillessly above--have been making the rounds, but Green Towers' Living Furniture might be the first to expand...

Rolled Omelet Pan

Sold Out Amazon »

This Rolled Omelet Pan could be an alternative to the Bubble Waffle pan for the gluten intolerant. Or an accompaniment to the Bubble Waffle pan for the culinarily adventurous who also could have beaten Joey Chestnut in...

The Grammarian's Clock

Sold Out Amazon »

On the upside you do not need to be able to read an analog clock face to tell time with this LED Word Clock. On the downside, you do need to be able to read. But on the upside again, word nerds the world over, rejoice!...

Bubble Waffle Pan

Sold Out Amazon »

I didn't know I had a favorite Hong Kong street food until I saw this fat, doughy bubble waffle. I haven't tasted one yet, but am reassured by the fact that my gut pretty much always gets along with anything described...

Shoefiti Hanging Lamp

$1,500 Etsy »

Sneakers laced together and tossed over power lines. Also known as Shoefiti, it's an image we all know well with a meaning we...aren't quite as sure about. I thought the sneaker toss was what young boys did when they...

Hammerhead Shark Dual Bottle Opener

Sold Out Amazon »

This is the most kind-hearted shark there is. Before he attacks and eats you, he's going to get you drunk. Beer or wine, my friend?...

Automatic Japanese Noodle Maker

No need to knead, noodle lovers. Or mix, feed, or crank for that matter. Just pour water, flour, egg...and whatever other edible Eastern magic creates the kinky deliciousness that is ramen...into the Philips Noodle Maker...

Oon Building Blocks Power Strip

$79 OKUM »

I like the Oon power strip concept. Classy wood building blocks hiding the ugly two-prongs. They even get nostalgic, looking kinda like the building blocks I played with when I was a kid. The building blocks I played...

LaunchPAD - Fleshlight iPad Case (NSFW)

$29.95 Fleshlight »

Though it's not electric or piston-powered...or Japanese...like this friendly sex toy, the LaunchPAD does employ advanced technology in a valiant effort to enhance Man's alone time. The makers of male masturbatory aid...

Star Wars Stacking Mugs

Sold Out Amazon »

I call not drinking out of Luke Skywalker's crotch! Star Wars Stacking Mugs. Divided into thirds both vertically and horizontally the trio features the uppers, privates, and legs of Luke, Han Solo, and a random Stormtrooper...

Scout HD Security Camera

The makers of Atticus Finch's favorite home security system, Scout, are expanding their family. One of their forthcoming arrivals, the Scout HD Camera, is a 1080p, WiFi-enabled, "burglar-beating machine" intended to simply...