Wampa Ice Scraper Mitt
Who better to scrape the 8 inches of snow and half-inch screen of mother f'in ice off your windshield this winter than the abominable snowman himself? Or at least his severed limb. Slide on the Wampa Ice Scraper Mitt, and watch the layers upon layers of celestial poo the sky dumped on your car glide off. Without acquiring a soaking wet shirtsleeve and mild case of frostbite. I'm hoping the Wampa's menacing claws will also maybe wean my partially senile neighbor's Westie off his routine of humping my leg 'til kingdom come as I try to leave for work and they head home from his morning walk.
Note that vendor ThinkGeek makes a comment about using the Wampa scraper and then drinking Hoth Cocoa. I point this out because it is clever and I think word of its existence should spread and I am taking the high road here and not trying to pass the punnerific gem off as my own. Though probably I could have thought of it if I were writing this while watching Star Wars. Or drinking hot cocoa.
Wampa Mitt components are two-part. 1) A standard ice scraper enveloped in a 2) warm, cozy, 100% polyester mitten.