2016 Topps Garbage Pail Kids Series 1 Box
/2016-topps-garbage-pail-kids-25051.jpg "2016 Topps Garbage Pail Kids Series 1 Box")
- 2016 Topps Garbage Pail Kids Blaster Box - $19.95
- 2015 30th Anniversary Garbage Pail Kids Trading Card Blaster Box - $21.50
- 2016 Topps Garbage Pail Kids Card Stickers - $94.48
- Garbage Pail Kids American as Apple Pie in Your Cards Face Retail Pack - $39.95
- American As Apple Pie In Your Face Cards Jumbo Pack - $16.99
Wait, what? Topps says its 2016 Garbage Pail Kids Series 1 cards are suitable for ages 6+? The box set is listed as a "brand new 2016" edition, so you'd think they realize it's 2016. And that no hypersensitive, Purel-obsessed helicopter parent is going to let their 6-year-old play with, or even look at, that...uh...Garbage.
My mama let me have Garbage Pail Kids from age 4, of course. But things are different now, with all the cyber bullying and real-life bullying and internet trolling and calling a fat person fat being worse than calling them an F-wad. I don't know who today would buy their kids a 4-pack box set of Garbage Pail Kids that also includes 3 special Gross Bear bonus stickers you cannot find anywhere else, plus 1 Puke Parallel card.
Good thing too, because those of us who grew up in 1980s GPK primetime are going to want these sets for ourselves.
Topps' 2016 Garbage Pail Kids series is called "American as Apple Pie in Your Face." It celebrates (i.e., perverts and ridicules) the history of the USA with 9 brand new themes. They include: parodies of uniquely American things, such as cowboys, BBQ, surfing, and muscle cars; American Swept Under the Rug, aspects of America we'd rather keep hidden; the 2016 Summer Olym-Picks; and America's Pastimes.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
/testicuzzi-jacuzzi-for-the-39811.jpg?mode=crop "Testicuzzi - Jacuzzi for the Nuts")
Testicuzzi - Jacuzzi for the Nuts
Sadly - or maybe thankfully? - there are no photos of the Testicuzzi in action. At least not any this jacuzzi for the nuts' makers have published publicly. But one look at the empty hot tub - its contoured rim, its dual...
/volkswagen-van-cooler-43983.jpg?mode=crop "Volkswagen Bus Cooler")
Volkswagen Bus Cooler
While I wouldn't consider an actual classic Volkswagen bus the ultimate Dad car - leave that to the Subaru Outback - a classic Volkswagen bus cooler? On wheels so Dad can pull his beers just like his kid in a wagon? Oh...
VibeRider Motorcycle Seat Vibrator
The hair, clothing, and number of pixels in VibeRider's videos suggest this vibrating motorcycle seat insert has been around since 1992, but I only just heard of it, thanks to Mike K.'s Dude Product Tip. It's too bad...
/zero-fs-given-decision-maker-34541.jpg?mode=crop "Zero Fs Given Decision Maker Coins (NSFW)")
Zero Fs Given Decision Maker Coins (NSFW)
Well, you probably give a little more than zero Fs if you're going to the trouble of flipping a coin to make the decision. But if your wife asks you whether you'd prefer new cloth napkins in sage green or seafoam green...
Naughty People Outlet Stickers
These naughty people. Doing doggy style on an electrical outlet. Didn't their mamas teach them anything? Dude better keep his finger out of his lady's mouth (and eyes if they're into that sort of thing) or this love session...
/dehydrated-water-32715.jpg?mode=crop "Dehydrated Water")
Dehydrated Water
Dehydrated Water: it's just like a cup of Ramen, only without the Ramen! This can of premium water is all natural and contains no artificial colors, flavors, GMOs, antibiotics, or weird, unpronounceable ingredients. And...
/camel-dick-nsfw-48842.jpg?mode=crop "3D Printed Camel Dick (NSFW)")
3D Printed Camel Dick (NSFW)
Four legs, two humps, two testicles, and one...big...dick...head. Meet the Camel Dick, the newest addition to the animal dick menagerie we began last year with the 3D Printed Dickasaurus...
/executive-drop-mic-24599.jpg?mode=crop "Executive Drop Mic")
Executive Drop Mic
Doooshhh! The sound of a mic drop. Or rather, the sound you make with your mouth when you mime a mic drop. Or maybe, the sound a mic makes when you do an actual mic drop, followed immediately by D'oh!, the sound you make...
Know Thy Nuts Soap on a Rope
I guess the Movember Store's Know Thy Nuts Soap on a Rope looks like a set of testicles. But it also looks like a lopsided butt and a white Grimace from the McDonald's commercials. So it wouldn't just make a great gift...
/the-buttress-pillow-37595.jpg?mode=crop "The Buttress Pillow")
The Buttress Pillow
Now I lay me down to sleep / on a pair of luscious cheeks / A Buttress Pillow I've heard said / will support my neck and cradle my head...
/pineapple-grenade-keyboard-49094.jpg?mode=crop "Pineapple Grenade Keyboard")
Pineapple Grenade Keyboard
It's not that words haven't always been weapons, but this Pineapple Grenade Keyboard depicts how much easier, and deadlier, it is to use them as such today. The 25-key handheld typing companion is a fine manifestation...
/timber-rattler-scarab-back-24918.jpg "Timber Rattler Scarab Back Giant Pocket Knife")
Timber Rattler Scarab Back Giant Pocket Knife
Are you happy to see me, or is that just a Timber Rattler Scarab Back in your pocket? This monster of a lockback knife has an 8" stainless steel blade that folds into a grey pakkawood scaled handle. It's my #1 choice...