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Survival Grenade

By: on March 18, 2013
$18.99
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Pull the pin and Rocky S2V's Survival Grenade blows up a cornucopia of Mountain Shepherd Wilderness Survival School tools for the outdoor conquistador. Enveloped in 10' of military grade 550 paracord are everything from a fire starter and tinder to stay warm or signal for help, to a piece of tin foil for reflecting heat and taking home leftovers. Uh, yeah I want some flank steak and gooey butter cake for the road, Mama.

Compacted to comfortable-hanging-from-a-belt-clip size, the Survival Grenade arrives attached to a carabiner in a color choice of black, dark olive, or green. Its hang tag discloses Mountain Shepherd SNAP survival tips, such as "Curl into a ball and play dead when confronted by a warthog" and "Don't die." Other Kinder Surprises hidden inside the paracord grenade include:

  • A needle
  • A knife blade
  • 2 fishing hooks, 2 swivels & 2 weights
  • Wire
  • Above-mentioned fire starter and tin foil
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Portable Survival Rifle

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$2,499 - $3,149 from Motoped »

Universal mounting rack. Three gallons of fuel. In critical times, Motoped's Survival Bike puts escape in the hands of your feet. The military-inspired superhauler has a back rack assembly primed for multiple bolt-on...

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Zombie Hammer Survival Tools

$79.95 - $139.95 from Zombie Hammer »

"Zombie Hammer survival tools are designed to last longer than cockroaches." Longer than cockroaches! Now that's a sell. This knuckle dustered cache of apocalyptic weapons must have a collective immune system of steel!...

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$969 from OuttaGEAR »

If my family were to bug out, probably the first thing we'd do is tear apart this bag of supplies in search of the Xanax and Scotch it does not contain to help calm ourselves down. Luckily, in the event that one of us...

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The Cache Belt

$25 - $95 from Wazoo Survival Gear »

Sometimes you need a fishing hook in the middle of Denali. Sometimes you need a bottle opener in the middle of a Monday morning meeting. The Cache Belt can help you out with both lifesavers in both spots. Plus a needle...

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First 24 Survival Kit

$1,499 from Taurus »

I hope our current obsession with survival gear and bug out bags and general disaster preparedness means we're not actually going to have to face the collapse of the world in the near future. Because when it comes to...

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Airsoft Tornado Impact Grenade

$90.50 - $99.99 from Amazon »

Pull the pin and let the propane do the rest. When Airsoft's Tornado Impact Grenades detonate, they scatter over 200 plastic 6mm pellets in all 3 dimensions under which your enemies might try to take cover. This means...

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Bear Grylls Ultimate Pack

Discontinued

Funny how even though Bear Grylls was alleged to be kind of a fraud several years ago--the guy who roughs it to the bare bones, in the jungle with nothing but a pocket knife, some fishing line, and his wits by day, but...

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Life Armor Disaster Shelter

$5k from Seikoh »

The recent, tragic path of Hurricane Sandy reminds us that disaster planning shouldn't just be relegated to theoretical discussions and jokes about Zombie Apocalypses. Seikoh's Life Armor Disaster Shelter can accommodate...

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The Complaint Department Grenade Sign

$9.99 from Amazon »

When I saw this "Complaint Department" sign with a "Please take a number" directive pointing right at the pin of a grenade, I first assumed it was meant for the office. I know my boss would sure like to have one....

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Estream Portable Water Power Generator

$180 - $220 from Enomad »

What if I don't want to disconnect? What if I don't want to see another person for miles, but do want to keep listening to "Love Yourself" and checking to see if Bieber restored his Instagram account? And also have a...