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Shark With Frickin' Laser Pointer

By: on July 24, 2013
$14.99
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Hot off the endangered species list: great white sharks...with frickin' lasers! Actually, Dr. Evil's cycloptic sidekick was misinformed. According to the World Wildlife Fund, great white sharks are vulnerable, but not yet classified as endangered. This is most likely because they have started using head-mounted lasers to protect themselves when their length of 16' to 20', mass of between 4,000 and 7,000 pounds, and teeth of your worst nightmare on an acid trip through the blazing fires of hell underwater fail to do the trick.

As an homage to the Austin Powers series, as well as sharks' enviable adaptability, ThinkGeek unveils this small-scale Shark with Frickin' Laser Pointer. As with real mutated sharks, a searing beam emanates from the top of the 7" Mini Me's head, though rather than sizzling all living things with which it makes contact so as to enable its host to enjoy a warm meal, this laser only temporarily marks them with a red dot.

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Custom Made Lightsabers

$129.99 - $499 from Etsy »

Be advised: Although Phillip Isherwood's custom crafted lightsabers blaze LED spectral force fields of green, red, or blue and arrive with 36" long polycarbonate blades designed for full speed, full contact dueling, he...

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The World's Most Powerful Laser

$299.95 from WickedLasers.com »

If bat shit looked like 1000mW of ice-blue lightning, the S3 Spyder III Arctic Laser would be the physical manifestation of bat shit crazy. As it stands, the world's most powerful laser is just fuckin' nuts. Wicked Lasers'...

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Shomer-Tec Laser Surveillance Defeater

$58.39 from Amazon »

All some people (i.e., my girlfriend) want is for people to listen to them. All other people want is for people to stop listening to them. For the first group I can try to extend my attention span to at least 7 minutes...

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The Shark Buggy

$244.99 from Amazon »

Maclaren's toothy Shark Buggy wins the Best Shark Merch Award for 2017. (The Animatronic Shark Costume took 2016, while 2013, 2014, and 2015 all went to the Sharkini.) Seeing a kid chillin' between the jaws of this delightful...

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Laser Slingshot

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If you're looking for more than a ping! from your slingshot, check out this golden wonder from Assolar*. At a hefty 30+ ounces, this hunting tool comes equipped with a battery-powered laser sight that beams right and...

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445NM Infinity Blue Laser Blaster

$349.99 from Etsy »

Here's a 445NM Infinity Blue Laser Blaster by Tony Starks. I don't know if that's his real name or not, but if so now we know that having just one letter more than Iron Man makes you Laser Man. The trapezoidal-rhomboidal-pieced...

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Sharkini Swimsuit

$120 from Bad Aby Designs »

Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads...

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Cube Laser Virtual Keyboard

$97.62 from Amazon »

Fat-fingered iPad and iPhone users rejoice! Celluon's EPIC Laser Virtual Keyboard, a 63-key QWERTY holograph, projects at full size onto any flat surface, lessening the tediousness of mobile texting and emailing, and...

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The Lasersaber

$99.95 from WickedLasers.com »

With both Comic-Con 2012 and Dude's S3 Arctic Laser Giveaway in full swing, how could we not bring you this feast of power, this champion of Cosplay, this intergalactic harness of pure Storm Blue or Ghostbusters Green...

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Seabreacher Shark X Water Jet

$90k from Seabreacher »

Seabreacher water jets snugly seat two people with exceptional control over their stomachs and bowels for a nautical roller coaster ride of dives, breaches, spins, and respective surface and subsurface speeds of up to...

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Animatronic Shark Costume

By: VFXLAB »

Seabob, an animatronic shark costume visual effects designers VFXLAB recently took for a test swim in the San Bernardino Doubletree Hotel pool, is many things. Funny, a good prank, and a way for my friend Cornelius to...

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Firefly Blue Laser Lamp

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I grew up with fireflies. And by that I mean I grew up squashing them and rubbing their bioluminescence on my arms and legs so I too could glow like a superhero or anomaly of evolution. I never saw any blue ones though...