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Life-Size Exorcist Regan Doll

By: on October 16, 2017
$3,995
from
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The only thing worse than a Monday is clicking on a link that brings you to a life-size replica doll of possessed Regan from The Exorcist. It just happened to me, and since misery loves company, here you go, dudes. I'm sharing it with you.

Prop masters The Scary Closet have added Regan to their extremely limited collection of 10 (which, at printing, was down to 1, despite the hefty price tag) all signed by Exorcist extraordinaire, Linda Blair. In addition to being scaled to size, the Regan doll is almost meanly realistic. Like, they call it a collector's item, but any collector willing to put that evil thing in their house is either just as twisted as Regan's head in Satan's merry-go-round scene, or is planning the Halloween prank of a lifetime, and so just as mean as The Scary Closet.

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KFC Internet Escape Pod

$10k from KFC Ltd. »

KFC says their Internet Escape Pod, featuring a fried chicken drumstick door handle and Stretch Armstrong Colonel Sanders passed out drunk and slung over the top, is meant to help you hide from the barrage of Cyber Monday...

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Sexy TRON Outfit

Discontinued

Wise shoppers know that when buying a gift, you should choose something for the recipient that you would never choose to buy for yourself. In that vein, this smokin' hot, 12-gauge clear plastic TRON corset lined with...

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Wobbling Willy - Your Face on a Dildo (NSFW)

Dudes, check out the Wobbling Willy's practical application for all those selfies you've been taking. Your face on a dildo. A way, way sexier (and more functional!) gift for your girlfriend than that framed dick pic you...

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Fear Mongering: The 10 Scariest Halloween Masks

The fear factor of these scary Halloween masks lies somewhere between disturbing and spine-chilling. Between nightmares for the night and nightmares for the month. Between Ugh, what is that? and CAN. NOT. UN. SEE. I'm...

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Deadpool Christmas Tree Ornaments

$30.19 from Amazon »

These Deadpool Christmas tree ornaments will look right at home dangling alongside the Bob Ross Funko Pop figure classing up my mantle. 'Tis the season for happy little trees and Deadpool 2 trailers....

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Arkham Harley Quinn Costume

Discontinued

Cartoons and reality have met, merged, and are now calling out to your carn(iv)al sensibilities. Sinister, hard-edged, Brooklyn-tongued Harley Quinn makes the likes of animated wet dreams Jessica Rabbit and Holli Wood...

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Other People's Face Masks

$9.99 - $11.94 from Amazon »

Get all 4 of Faux Real's Face (of Someone Else) Masks to swap out throughout the night at this year's Halloween party and kill it as Arya Stark or Jaqen H'gar, or maybe just a generic Faceless Man....

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Kobayashi Mug

Sold Out from Amazon »

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that...he's gone....

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The Lambshank Redemption Cookbook

$15.82 from Amazon »

Mmmm, I could sure go for some lamb shank tonight. According to She-Ra: Princess of Power, a little redemption wouldn't hurt me either. Fitting, then, that in my search for dinner and ways to un-piss off my fiancee I...

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Silence of the Lambs Hannibal Lecter Action Figures

$269 from Blitzway »

I had forgotten I started working on this Hannibal Lecter Action Figure post and left my computer for a few hours to eat some sloppy joes and self-serve fro yo, and when I came back I was looking right into the muzzled...

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Philippe the Skeleton Lamp

Phillipe the Skeleton Lamp is not the first skeleton lamp I've met (see Glass Skull Tiki Torch, Day of the Dead Skull Lamp). But he's definitely the first skeleton lamp I've met named "Phillipe." Which leads me to believe...

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Stranger Things Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle

$39.69 from Firebox.com »

This is an Eleven Bleeding Nose Candle. If you've seen stranger things - say, Taxidermy Animal Drones or Edible Anus Chocolates - it probably won't bother you. And if you've seen Stranger Things, you'll probably love it....