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VELOSOCK Bicycle Covers

Posted: March 16, 2018
VELOSOCK Bicycle Covers

Yes, VELOSOCKs look like big ol' bike condoms. And indeed the covers are a form of protection for those of you in a relationship with a bicycle. If you need to bring a bike inside your house or car, VELOSOCKs will keep you safe from the SMTDs it might bring with it. You know, scuffs, mud, turds, and dirt.

In addition to protecting your walls, floors, and furniture from bike droppings and offenses, VELOSOCKs aim to keep your room looking spiffy with an array of stylin' designs.

If you're jonesing for a plain black VELOSOCK, you can get it here. Otherwise, check out a sampling of the wheel cover designs the company has come up with below.

Hancock VELOSOCK

Hancock VELOSOCK

VELOSOCKs are made of an ultra-stretchy elastic material that allows them to fit over the wheels of most adult bicycles. It should take less than a minute to slip one on. Just like a condom. So don't get all hyped up and impatient and forego the thing that could save your life / the freshly mopped floors of your wife.

VELOSOCK's Hancock design gives a shoutout to the iconic Chicago skyscraper that has since been renamed something dumb, just like the Sears Tower.

$59 ➠ Amazon

Millennium VELOSOCK

Millennium VELOSOCK

This VELOSOCK shows a trippy nebula and stars and other astronomy stuff. VELOSOCKs, by the way, are also moisture-absorbent and quick-drying, so if you've awarded yourself a Boy Scout Badge for commuting on your bike in the rain, now you can bring it back into your apartment without making a wet mess.

$59 ➠ Amazon

Matrix VELOSOCK

Matrix VELOSOCK

You can turn your VELOSOCK inside out and machine wash it to clean. And you can turn your whole world inside out by getting the Matrix VELOSOCK and swallowing the red pill.

$59 ➠ Amazon

Silverbird VELOSOCK

Silverbird VELOSOCK
Silverbird VELOSOCK

I don't have any other features or information to report about the VELOSOCK. This design is called Silverbird. It looks like throwing stars. You should definitely get it if you plan on riding your bike to the Ninjas Throwing Star Range in Lexington, Kentucky.

$59 ➠ Amazon
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