I wonder if the BumpShox bumper guard protects the cars you bump from damage. If so, I'm definitely getting one for mysel...my future wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power. She, uh, failed parallel parking in her driver's exam and 20 years later still hasn't mastered it. And last week someone tried to make her one-way-street parallel on the left side. I was like...I mean she was like, "Are you shitting me, the left side? What am I, an ambidexter?"
The BumpShox, now in XL for XLlent front bumper protection, installs like a standard license plate frame, but instead of providing free advertising for the dealership where you got your car, it provides a 2-1/4"-thick cushion over its 14" x 8-1/2" perimeter to absorb minor impacts and prevent damage. Made of V-Tech all-weather foam, the BumpShox also won't crack or rust over time like metal or plastic license plate covers.
Though obviously way bulkier than your alternatives, the BumpShox XL's steep angles form a pyramid shape intended to minimize its hulking presence on your car. The design also increases its flexibility and shock absorption. The screws holding the guard in place are recessed too, so if you bump another vehicle, the measures you've gone to to preserve your own car's appearance won't mess up theirs.