Printed Body Flowers Swimsuit
The Printed Body Flowers Swimsuit doesn't provide quite the same caliber of beach-ready optical illusion as the Sexy Chest Swimsuit, but at least this Jean Paul Gaultier design is more likely to make you drool than gag. I mean, just look at those luscious, scintillating, perfectly-contoured...printed body flowers.
The Printed Body Flowers Swimsuit is a designer one-piece featuring, yes, some colorful flowers, but also an expertly drawn and shaded likeness of the belly and boobies that lie underneath the suit. It's a provocative, yet still somehow tasteful piece of swimwear that I give two enthusiastic thumbs up, and one long Duuuuuude. Move over Ta Ta Top and Internal Organs Rash Guard, these bloomin' boobies are my new #1 anatomical pick for the pool.
/shocked-trump-swinsuit-62314.jpg?mode=crop "Shocked Trump Swinsuit")
Shocked Trump Swinsuit
Ever thought the beach was missing a bit of... politics? Well, fear no more! The Donald Trump Swimsuit is here to fill that void. Imagine this: a one-piece swimsuit emblazoned with the larger-than-life, zoomed-in face...
/sharkini-swimsuit-8700.jpg?mode=crop "Sharkini Swimsuit")
Sharkini Swimsuit
Sharks are scary. Girls are scary. Gaaahhh! It's the worst hybrid ever! To all Dude Facebook readers who expressed sentiments of peeved off at our posting of a Sharkini photo without information about where to throw wads...
The Batman Collection
Black Milk Clothing's Batman Collection has a Batsuit for every type of crime a girl could want to fight. For example, not looking hot. Or not showing enough leg. Not showing enough cleavage. Not wearing a belted Bat-Signal...
Mass Effect Clothing
I know many of you are thinking it, so I'm just gonna put it on paper: the mass effect of Black Milk's Mass Effect body-hugging clothing collection is to effectively give every male fan of the video game series a massive...
/finfolk-custom-mermaid-tails-12616.jpg?mode=crop "Finfolk Custom Mermaid Tails")
Finfolk Custom Mermaid Tails
By what magnitude would the awesomeness of mud wrestling increase if all the ladies participating got to wear a Finfolk Productions 100% dragonskin and platinum cure silicone mermaid tail? Muddy, slippery, rolling on...
/pamela-anderson-x-frankies-60047.jpg?mode=crop "Pamela Anderson x Frankies Bikinis Collection")
Pamela Anderson x Frankies Bikinis Collection
The Pamela Anderson x Frankies Bikinis Collection drops at noon ET on May 4, 2023, and all I've got to say about this collaboration between the smokin' hot 55-year-old Baywatch star and the smokin' hot swimsuit brand...
/the-tata-top-39533.jpg?mode=crop "The TaTa Top (NSFW)")
The TaTa Top (NSFW)
Where was the TaTa Top flesh-colored bikini with nipples when I was having fun with anatomical optical illusions a couple weeks ago? Guess I'll have to retroactively add this eye-(and pants-)popping swimsuit to my Breast...
/mens-one-piece-thanos-39341.jpg?mode=crop "Men's One-Piece Thanos Swimsuit")
Men's One-Piece Thanos Swimsuit
Thanos may finally get his wish of wiping out half the world's population if enough dudes don a men's one-piece Thanos swimsuit this summer. And I thought the ladies' version was disturbing. But I guess as the great Titan...
/strange-silly-standout-38705.jpg?mode=crop "Strange, Silly & Standout Swimwear")
Strange, Silly & Standout Swimwear
My collection of strange, silly, and standout swimwear is for dudes and ladies who march to the beach of their own drum. Sun bums who aren't just ready for, but who crave the double-takes and ogles they'll get from everyone...
Ugly Christmas Swimsuit
I have one thing to say to all of you who live in Southern California and Miami and Australia. You who will be sweating balls this Christmas instead of freezing your ass off making them out of snow: jerks. The only things...
/sexy-chest-swimsuit-27582.jpg "Sexy Chest Swimsuit")
Sexy Chest Swimsuit
A sexy man chest to caress and a sexy swimsuit to wear to your next pool outing - talk about having your cake and eating it too, ladies. Good for more than just a few laughs or you next gag gift, the Sexy Chest Swimsuit...
/arks-3d-printed-bikinis-27824.jpg?mode=crop "aRks 3D Printed Bikinis")
aRks 3D Printed Bikinis
aRks 3D has prototyped a series of 3D printed bikinis they call Coral. And I know what all the dudes out there are thinking: that's some Coral I'd sure like to come across in the ocean. In stark contrast what's running...