Accessories

Dango Coin Capsule

Coins. What a pain in my ass. Piles of them overflow various dishes and trays around my condo, smirking at me from behind their hugely disproportionate ratio of weight and manageability to value. Even the quarter suck...

Polarized XXL Sunglasses for People with Big Heads

$75 Faded Days »

Got a fat head on the wrong end? Faded Days isn't the only brand that makes polarized XXL sunglasses for people with big heads, but they do seem particularly committed to the process. First they ran a wide-head-sunglasses...

Foldies Polarized Folding Sunglasses

$69 Amazon »

If you've got that sunshine in your pocket, better keep a pair of Foldies folding sunglasses in your other one. The unisex wayfarers have a hinge at their bridge and on each arm to break them down into a compact puck...

Master Carver Meerschaum Pipes

$75 - $625 Amazon »

I'm not sure I'd want to put anything in these Master Carver Meerschaum Pipes and smoke it - they're just so intricate and byoo-tee-ful. And expensive. What if tobacco, or the stanky green stuff, ruined it?...

Nite Ize RunOff Waterproof Wallet

$24.99 Amazon »

The Nite Ize RunOff Waterproof Wallet helps you hike, paddle, sail, and hoof it 2 miles back to your hotel in the pouring rain assured that your valuables are safe and dry inside its impermeable TPU walls and IPX7-rated...

Sawyer Utility Bracelet

$39 Amazon »

I like the Sawyer Utility Bracelet. I like it for its leather-and-steel aesthetic, and I like it for its proposed method of carrying around a utility knife, which is one that takes up zero room, and creates zero bulge...

Self-Defense Coin Bag

Sold Out Amazon »

George Washington, Franklin Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson, and Abe Lincoln team up to deliver the ultimate bitch slap, packing a whack! from inside your self-defense coin bag. And after they're done, you'll be all ready...

EDC Apparatus Bolt Carabiners

$134.11 - $303.21 Etsy »

Cheap EDC, meet everyday works of art. At least in the minds of the carriers willing to pay for these Bolt Carabiners from EDC Apparatus. Designer Josep Julian makes the sexy links in his shop in Alas i Cerc, Spain, using...

Bose Frames Audio Sunglasses

$199 Amazon »

Bose Frames don't go for bone conduction to give you sound in your sunglasses like Zungle's V2 Viper headphone sunglasses. They bring audio to eye protection in a more Bose-y way: through itty-bitty high-end speakers...

Thumbcuff Keychains

Discontinued

OK, this keychain has more like mini handcuffs than true thumbcuffs dangling from it. But as handcuffs they'll only lock over, say, the 2 front legs of a Shih Tzu on the run from ripping off the canine CBD store. And...

Speidel Binder Clip Money Clips

$99.99 Amazon »

Speidel has one thing right: I'd much rather use a binder clip to press together a fat wad of cash than a fat wad of papers. Especially if the papers contain documents I must sign and return to my attorney or the IRS...

Zungle V2 Viper Bone Conduction Headphone Sunglasses

Discontinued

Do you hear the rumble in the Zungle? It's the V2 Viper sunglasses' built-in Vibra bone conduction speakers, sending sound from the arms hooked over your ears, through your face bones, and into to your drums o' hearing...

IRL Ad Blocker Glasses

They live. IRL Glasses are real-life sunglasses that block ads - that block all screen visuals - in real time. No joke, they're real news created to black out fake news. And screens blasting aggressive backlit pushes...

Crazy Horse Craft Origami Leather Wallets

$38 - $60 Amazon »

Native America meets old world Japan in Crazy Horse Craft's leather origami-style wallets. The minimalist cash and card carriers have a classic, scholarly look, with 2 openings for quick access, and two interior compartments...

EEZ-Y Inverted Umbrella

$23.99 Amazon »

With their Inverted Umbrella EEZ-Y has managed to make the first umbrella turned inside out I don't want to throw on the ground and stomp on because it's turned inside out. And in fact, when this double-sided rain shield's...

RFID-Blocking Leather Passport Holder

$25.99 Amazon »

I got one of these RFID-blocking leather passport holders as a Christmas gift last year. I smiled politely when I opened it and gave the standard, "Oh wow, a leather passport holder. That's great. Thanks." But 8 months...

Gerber Barbill Wallet

$19.56 Amazon »

Gerber's Barbill wallet looks like it has a pair of butterfly wings that slide out from either side of its elastic band center. Maybe to communicate that, despite the sturdy look and feel of the wallet's stainless steel...

Colt 45 Walking Cane

Discontinued

The old dude with the walking cane might look like an easy target, but if that cane were capped off with a Colt 45 handgun, I sure wouldn't mess with him. Actually, even if the handle were just plain wood like the rest...

Balega Blister Resist Socks

$8.97 - $18 Amazon »

Balega socks probably know avid runners and athletes don't let blisters, or the potential for rubbing one up, dissuade them from lacing up and taking off. But getting blisters is a pain. A persistent, burning pain that...

Tattoo Tights

$18 - $33 Etsy »

I wonder if women who see these Tattoo Tights feel like I do when I see the Wonderffle Stuffed Waffle Iron. All hot and sweaty and in need of a change of pants...

Don't Panic Keychain Towel

$10.99 - $14.99 SN Pro Tips »

I was stoked when I found these Don't Panic thigh-high stockings for my fiancee to wear on our wedding day, but it's nothing compared to the joy I feel now having found SN Pro Tips' Don't Panic Keychain Towel for myself...

Lightsaber Willy Warmer

$30.43 Etsy »

This Lightsaber Willy Warmer might be the finest expression of Grandmas's yarn I ever saw. Not a bad tribute to Star Wars either, presuming you've mastered The Force well enough to wield this saber once it's fired up...

Foodie Bow Ties

$50.90 - $108.17 Etsy »

Bow ties made to look like food! I wouldn't call myself a foodie, but food is my favorite thing in the whole world (tied with my fiancee and my mama) and seeing a bowtie pasta bowtie - a piece of pasta bow tie-ified!...

Ombraz Unbreakable, Armless Sunglasses

$140 - $160 Ombraz »

Though Ombraz sunglasses are pronounced Ohm-bruhs, don't let their inclusion of the sound bruh kill your interest in them. Because Ombraz actually do two very un-douchey things to sunglasses. One, they remove the snappabble...