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Watchy Open Source E-Paper Watch

$44.99 - $49.99 from Tindie »

The argument for wearing a Watchy wristwatch is paper thin. E-Paper thin. Like its Pebble predecessors, Watchy is an ultra-slim, lightweight timepiece with a simple 200 x 200 monochrome E-Paper display that "delivers...

Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer

$49.95 - $138.06 from Amazon »

Hey. Dude. Never before has there existed a more Dudeworthy shoe than the Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer. Piece by piece, I am going to break down this footwear, and tell you why...

Baby Yoda Pack

$79 from Kapacks »

No hover pod to transport your Baby Yoda in? Then mule up and schlep little Grogu on your back with the Baby Yoda Pack from Kapacks. The hardshell backpack's generous interior even has room for a few frogs and a shiny...

Lumen Couture LED Face Changing Mask

$90 from Etsy »

Lumen Couture's LED Face Changing Mask isn't intended to be a funkified piece of pandemic PPE, though if you're ready to go all in on facial coverings, I guess it would serve you as well as your double-ply cloth options...

BoSidin Permanent Hair Removal Device

$339.99 from Amazon »

The BoSidin permanent hair removal device says, "Don't forget about your medical-grade at-home options for unruly body hair!" 2020 saw many of us either attempting to administer self-haircuts, or saying F it and letting...

Headache & Migraine Relief Cap

$32.99 from Amazon »

Headache? Migraine? Just want to bury your head in the freezer or a bucket of ice? How about a striking purple hat filled with cooling, soothing, pain-easing Magic Gel instead?...

Sword House Key

$6.49 from Amazon »

It's about time I had a Sword House Key, given the number of sword fights with locks I've had in my life. In fact, just two weeks ago I was testing out the lock and key on my new nightstand - yep the top drawer came with...

ENHANCE Board Game Backpack

$119.99 from Amazon »

If you still need a bitchin' gift for the kids from Stranger Things, here you go, the Board Game Tower Backpack from ENHANCE. They'll probably make Will carry it, and the little oddball will certainly succumb to its 23"...

Vollebak 100 Year Sweatpants

$495 from Vollebak »

100 years. Yep. That's about how long I feel like I've been wearing nothing but sweatpants. And not only does Vollebak feel the need to remind me of that, they also feel the need to create the 100 Year Sweatpants, a single...

Heat Holders Slipper Socks

$17.99 - $22.99 from Amazon »

Heat Holders are hands down...feet down...the warmest socks I've ever worn. Sometimes they're even too warm and I break out in the feet sweats. I wish they had a photo of what the inside looks like because from the outside...

Popeyes Beignet Camo Hoodie

$35 from Popeyes »

Watch out Desert, Digital, and Woodland, Popeyes is bringing Beignet Camo to the world of military fatigues. OK, maybe more like the world of fashion fatigues. OK, fine. The world of slouchy slacker hoodies. The Popeyes...

Dr. Squatch Pine Tar Soap

Sold Out from Amazon »

While Dr. Squatch Pine Tar Soap would make a really nice addition to any man's grooming supplies, it is also a good gift for a man you don't like much, such as, oh, I don't know, say, your father-in-law, because: 1) it...

Full Face Trapper Hat with Goggles

Sold Out from Amazon »

Goofy? Yes. Overkill? Maybe. But let's also review all the ways in which this full face trapper hat - with goggles! - is exactly the piece of headwear you need right now. Or at least need to get as a gift for your girlfriend...

Butts on Things Stickers, Pins & Artwork

$4.50 - $20 from Etsy »

What's up, Taco Butt? Hey there, TARDASSSS! Yo, yo, I see you've got S'more junk in the trunk. No insult and no judgement with my comments, just a sheer appreciation for your Butts on Things sticker, pin, and artwork...

Charmeuse Kimono Robe

$110 from Amazon »

I love everything about these watercolor-effect charmeuse Kimono Robes as a wrapped up purdy gift for my wife, except the word charmeuse. Shar-moose, is that how you say it? That is ugly, and my mouth does not like the...

Santa Beard Face Mask

Sold Out from Amazon »

Ho, ho, ho...hack, hack, hack! Spread holiday cheer without spreading COVID with this Santa Beard Face Mask. This season actually has me warming to face masks because, well, the face masks are warming my face, and it's...

24K Gold Acupressure Ear Seeds

Sold Out from Amazon »

These luxe Acupressure Ear Seeds will help you strike gold twice as a gift to any woman on your holiday list. It will be like giving her fancy 24K gold jewelry and glorious relief from her pain, tension, and anxiety...

Dr. Sheffield's Chocolate Toothpaste

$11.99 from Amazon »

Chocolate, a food typically associated with causing cavities, is now used to prevent them? What witchcraft is your Chocolate Toothpaste, Dr. Sheffield?...

Ear Tsubo Pressure Point Cat Massagers

Everyone knows nothing stimulates pressure points and releases tension like playing with a kitty. Yours, someone else's, it really doesn't matter. But what might surprise you here is that in order to play with these kitties...

Kailo Nanotech Bio-Antenna Pain Patch

$119 from Amazon »

Kailo Patch: a giant nanotech pain in my ass, or a miracle solution for the giant pain in my decidedly not-nano ass? The nanocapacitor-packed patch Kailo makers say acts as a "bio-antenna" to turn off pain wherever you...

Stove Top Stuffing Dinner Jacket

$30 from Stove Top »

What is a Stove Top Stuffing Dinner Jacket made of? An interior lining of minced chicken, soaked and crisped bread crumbs, and savory caramelized onions. The outside, in a surprise appearance, and an affront to people...

Bexar Goods Leather-Wrapped NES Console

And you thought an NES console couldn't get any sexier. Bexar Goods has taken tech skins to luscious leather levels, wrapping a classic Nintendo Entertainment System in premium buck brown harness leather from Wickett...

Beetlejuice Handbook for the Recently Deceased Sneakers

$39.99 from Amazon »

According to the Beetlejuice Handbook for the Recently Deceased Sneakers, live people ignore the strange and unusual. But [creepy distant expression and eyeroll] I, myself am strange and unusual. Therefore, I shall draw...

Ugly Christmas Face Masks

$9.99 - $10.99 from Amazon »

Ugly Christmas Face Masks. Oh for the love of the Baby Jesus do I hope that next Christmas we can look at these Pop Funk pandemic PPE creations and say, "Ugh, those are so 2020."...