Style

Crown Nipple Rings (NSFW)

$19.90 Etsy »

Maybe she calls herself a queen. Maybe she calls herself a princess. She's definitely some level of royalty. So I think it's time to bow down and crown her. No, lower. Nooooo...not that low. This crown is for her nipple...

The #DadCrop - Dad Crop Top

$34.99 Etsy »

Show off that dad bod this summer with the #DadCrop, a sexy upgrade to Dad's favorite piece of clothing: the hoodie. The #DadCrop can make dads everywhere look more hip, more fashionable, more Tik-Tok-ready while picking...

Wood & Titanium Engagement Ring

$105 Etsy »

Shine bright like a...piece of Patagonian virapita wearing this titanium band engagement ring topped with a radiant-cut piece of wood. A good 3 carats from the looks of it...

Speedland SL:PDX Trail Running Shoes

$375 Speedland »

I don't know if Speedland's SL:PDX trail running shoes will up your trail running game, but the Portland brand's high-performance, modifiable footwear will certainly up your mint green fashion game...

Reef Spackler Golf Sandal

Not sure about the flip-flops part, but Reef's Spackler Golf Sandals aren't wrong in suggesting golf and beer go well together. A (very) limited edition release from the brand, the Spackler Golf Sandal builds on Reef's...

Mighty Patch Pimple Patch

$12.99 Amazon »

Pimple. Zit. Acne. Pus volcano. Blemish if you're being fancy. The Mighty Patch Pimple Patch destroys them all. At least according to Mighty Patch themselves, who say their medical-grade hydrocolloid sticker "absorbs...

Micro Crochet Animals

$20.25 - $40.50 Etsy »

Lookee, lookee at the itty bitty crochet sloth. The teeny tiny crochet elephant. The weeeee little crochet penguin. The...I can't. I have to stop. All these Micro Crochet Animals, these things that make you go awww, are...

Ursula Octopus Bracelet

$29 Etsy »

Can't find an Octopus Teacher? How about an Ursula Octopus Bracelet instead? Can't find the unleashed Kraken? How about an Ursula Octopus Bracelet instead? Can't find a unicorn gift for your girlfriend? How about an Ursula...

Mystery Ranch 3-Way Briefcase

$150 Amazon »

How do you get a briefcase to morph between traditional office carrier, modern shoulder bag, and utilitarian backpack? It's a Mystery. Mystery Ranch, that is...

Emo Football Parody Sports Shirts

We've seen emo football in the winces and whines of Tom Brady. Emo basketball in the tantrums of LeBron James. Emo soccer in the rolling on the ground, gripping a leg in pain from...pretty much every soccer player out...

Abacus Ring

$558 Etsy »

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways on my Abacus Ring. One...two...three...four...

Sexy Bandage Swimsuit

$139 Etsy »

Sexy Bandage Swimsuit creator Liliya Pincosy simply calls her photoshoot-ready one-piece the Bandage Swimsuit. I added Sexy to the title because, um, I have eyes. And, this time, not the kind that see a great gag gift...

Cloos x Brady Sunglasses Collection

$189 Amazon »

Excuse me while I don my Cloos x Brady Sunglasses and practice my Tom-Brady-gazing-off-in-the-distance pose. It's, like, that same look in every photo of TB modeling his Christopher Cloos eyewear collaboration. What's...

Dad You're The Schitt Father's Day Card

$6.99 Amazon »

Happy Father's Day from Johnny Rose. This Schitt's Creek greeting card won't just tell Dad he's simply the best, but that he's the Schitt. A great choice for you children who are equal parts loving, snarky, and fans of...

Dusk - App-Enabled Electrochromic Smart Sunglasses

$179 - $299 indiegogo »

Ampere's Dusk Sunglasses are electrochromic smart sunglasses whose tint you can increase and decrease over 3 levels with a hidden button on one of the temples, or with the eyewear's app. They're kind of like the physical...

It's Not a Dad Bod It's a Father Figure T-Shirt

$9.99 - $25.99 Etsy »

The It's Not a Dad Bod It's a Father Figure T-shirt is the first T-shirt to bust through (beer belly first, of course) my firewall against cheesy, punny, novelty T-shirts since the IPA Lot When I Drink T-shirt I posted...

Projects Terra-Time Watch

$145 Amazon »

The Terra-Time Watch from Projects was designed by James Wines and Alex Donahue of SITE, and takes its inspiration from various earthly pursuits - contour maps, topographical models, stone quarry excavations, and agricultural...

Taco Booties

$25 for two tacos?! Oh, well as long as they're made of dyed, spun, and felted natural wool from Kyrgyzstan. ... Wait, what? Wool tacos?!...

Crochet Penis Blanket

$120 Etsy »

Cozy up next to the fire pit with a warm, cuddly...cock & balls?! This Crochet Penis Blanket from Naughty Mature Gifts will make you snug as a bug in a...er...opposite of rug on cool summer evenings and Netflix & chill...

Miniature VHS Movie Keychain Charms

$5 Etsy »

Make your favorite flicks of the 80s and 90s - and the VHS tapes that housed them - part of your EDC with these Miniature VHS Movie Keychain Charms. Available in dozens of different titles, the nostalgic trinkets are...

TRIWA Time for Oceans Recycled Ocean Plastic Watches

$149 - $159 TRIWA »

Make way for eco-puns! TRIWA's Time for Oceans watches are made with 100% recycled ocean plastic, and named with 100% Dad-approved branding. Who's got a paps who needs a new timepiece for Father's Day?...

Adidas 4DFWD Sneakers

$200 Adidas »

3D printed with a 4D midsole. That's the honeycombed core of these new Adidas 4DFWD Sneakers' story. Made for running, Adidas says the 4DFWD design "redirects energy forward, making your gait feel more like a glide."...

Crocs x BEAMS Bespoke Classic All Terrain Clog

$80 BEAMS »

Welcome to the shoepocalypse. Crocs has teamed up with Japanese fashion brand BEAMS - again, apparently - to bring you, me, and the whole ugly-plastic-shoe-loving world the Crocs x BEAMS Bespoke Classic All Terrain Clog...

Flaus Eco-Friendly Electric Flosser

$69 Flaus »

Flaus hopes to be the hygiene gadget that finally makes you want to floss. Or at least convinces you to floss even if you don't want to so, according to the electric flosser's makers, "you never have to lie to your dentist...