Sawblade Frisbee

Discontinued

Just another fun piece of foam crafted to look like a rusty sawblade covered in blood. Only this one has aerodynamic properties and can ride the wind like Maverick in an F-14 before Goose died and he lost his confidence...

Pregnant Belly Painting Kit

Sold Out Amazon »

I don't know how I feel about painting pregnant bellies for public display. Well, maybe it would be cool if one were painted with waves and then the small human being inside started kicking and fighting to get out and...

Waffle & Syrup Sheets

$80 Etsy »

With optional fruit pillows! While I would typically prefer a pancake on my plate at breakfast, I gotta give it to the waffle when it comes to what's on my mattress at bedtime. We dug Brook Abboud's Slice of Pizza Sleeping...

Bone Cast Tattoos

$27 Casttoo »

If you're stuck in a cast, may as well milk the sympathies of the world by showing it what the plaster is covering. Casttoo's Bone Tattoos for the cast-ridden come in a range of styles*, from straight subsurface skeletal...

Vibrating Ring Alarm Clock

Ring is a vibrating alarm clock that fits over the finger to gently and noiselessly rip slumberers from their states of peace. It is ideal for couples, the hearing impaired, and people who associate the sound of their...

Dexter's Victims Poster

$19.50 Etsy »

Now that our taste for Dexter-flavored blood has been satiated, and Season 7 is in full swing, let's take a moment to review all of our favorite fictionalized serial kills. So in Season 1 there was that church choir master...

The Best Shots You've Never Tried

$5.79 Amazon »

Shots. In addition to proving (or destroying) your manhood, they are also the best way to clear out random bottles of cr�me de cacao, orange bitters, and Lillet Blanc from the back of your liquor cabinet. Seattle mixologist...

Optimus Prime Hoodie

They call the Optimus Prime Hoodie a costume, but come on. I would rock that shizit out any day of the year. Particularly days when I feel like spontaneously transforming into a brave and wise leader of robots (with accompanying...

Skeleton Maternity Shirt

$29.99 Etsy »

Had I an oven in which to grow a bun, definitely a Skeleton Baby T-Shirt would be my preferred method of announcing it to the world. I wonder if wearing it would deter the nosy old hens who feel up preggo women's bellies...

Fetid Monster Switch Plates

Sold Out Etsy »

Mmm, switch plates that look good enough to eat! I crown artist Dogzilla Lives the Picasso of fetid monsters. Her polymer clay conglomerations of veiny eyeballs, gnarled teeth, and oozy epidermal layers make for terrifically...

Cardok Underground Parking

$61k Cardok »

Boy do I hate having to park both the Porsche and the Lambo on the front circle drive. It really detracts from the visual splendor of my gilded front door and Batman topiary. What, a retractable underground parking space...

Resident Evil Samurai Edge Replica

Discontinued

Anyone need a standard-issue S.T.A.R.S. line of defense? San Diego's Kendo Gun Shop has replicated Albert Wesker's customized Samurai Edge as a superbly realistic Airsoft Handgun for the awe and admiration of all Resident...

Stegosaurus Vest

Discontinued

OK, maybe this spiked pastel vest will make the lovely vixen who wears it look more like an ankylosaurus than a stegosaurus, but considering I had never heard the word "ankylosaurus" before in my life until I Googled...

Floating Lamp

$1,167 Crealev »

Crealev designer Angela Jansen has taken a machete to boring old lamp shades, and thrown in some magnet magic to keep their hacked off top half afloat after the attack. The Silhouette, a conical shade, and the Eclipse...

Likers Gonna Like Mug

Sold Out Etsy »

Positivity. That's what we need more of. Forget the haters. And forget that no one really gives a shit what you like on Facebook. Because Likers gonna Like, yo. And also probably drink coffee out of a clever or ironic...

Sad Shop Greeting Cards

$5 Etsy »

Sad Shop Greeting Cards range from statements of the obvious ("You drink too much", "I am a tool") to offbeat, yet endearing assertions ("I like you and naps", "I do not like fun") to profound proclamations of human emotion...

Siamese Clown Mask

Sold Out Amazon »

Ho. Ly. Balls. Does anyone have some Glow-in-the-Dark Toilet Paper, because I think I just crapped my pants. If one twisted, dagger-toothed, Joker-on-acid clown mask isn't enough for you this Halloween, how about a conjoined...

Steampunk Ukulele Bass

Discontinued

Like most people, when I think of ukuleles, I also think of a dark, industrial, post-apocalyptic society characterized by gears, studs, and other metal accoutrements. So it's about damn time someone crafted a Steampunk...

Lazer Shirt

$24.95 Lazer Shirts »

DIY trippiness. The Lazer Shirt allows wearers--and people wearers are comfortable having up in their business--to use a laser point to create complex artistic masterpieces or, more likely, squiggly lines and curves across...

Book Sculptures

Guy Laramee redefines the term "bookworm" with his extraordinary sculptural landscapes carved from encyclopedias and other volumes of formidable stature and heft. Mountains, canyons, meadows, Jordanian rock temples, all...

Autographer Intelligent Camera

Just as we can never have too many paparazzi photos of female celebrities in short dresses with no underwear climbing out of their cars, it seems neither can we have too many ways in which to capture these riveting moments...

State Quarter Rings

$29.95 Etsy »

New York, Arizona, Texas, Alabama, it's time to represent. Brent Emily bends and molds state quarters into custom rings for all Americans, as well as residents of Puerto Rico, Guam, and California, with homeland pride...

R2D2 Baby Costume

$38 Etsy »

I know your toddler is a unique and special snowflake, but now you can turn him into a programmable, monotone android too and revel in the irony! Carolyn Caffelle calls her R2D2 onesie and hat a costume, though I think...

Campfire Cologne

$12.95 Antler & Co. »

Campfire Cologne. In case a scruffy beard, lumberjack button-up, and logger sports on the Outdoor Network aren't enough to satiate you during the winter months when your favorite campgrounds are covered in snow. In case...