Peacemaker sounds noble. Civil. The Ned Stark approach. Which also connotes decapitation of he who bears the peace. When we're discussing a nightstick charged with 6,000,000 volts of blood-buzzing electricity, Peaceforcer...

Wheelman on the street. Wheelman on the grass. Wheelman on the beach. Wheelman past the Pee-wee Herman-clad cyclists at a whopping 26 mph. Oh what's that, padded spandex ass? Yeah, my speed is generated by a 50cc 2-stroke...

This yuppy East Coast trend baffles me. But VoyVoy built-in pocket square T-shirts constitute one I could support without feeling like a pretentious tool. Because unlike numerous layered Polos with their collars up, pocket...

Though I don't want robots to take over the whole world, I wouldn't mind if they took over the parts that are inconvenient for me. Such as cleaning up my messes. The Mini Robot Vacuum, a desktop-sized personal Rosie...

Hey, an all-blue Rubik's Cube. I think I could maybe solve that kind. Aw man, it's only 2D. And it's a pendant. Strikes 1 and 2. Then again, a pendant doesn't require solving at all. A pendant requires no intellectual...

So I get that this Star Wars baby mobile is probably hand spun from fine wool and all, but is the wool shorn from golden fleeced sheep? Does the miniature Millennium Falcon also contain a miniature Han Solo and Chewie?...

What's this? A circa 1968 suitcase and a set of Sony speakers turned into a portable stereo? Aw, Granny, good job! You made a ghetto blaster! And I thought our Merle Haggard Mondays and Tupac Tuesdays couldn't get any...

If given the choice between the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Bra and Miss Pamela's Ninja Turtles beanie, most men would probably choose the beanie for themselves and the bra for all ladies. But not me. I would choose...

You know what contentious pop culture debate on which I have no opinion? Nutella vs. Peanut Butter. Seriously Internet forums? You're warring over this? Each is a transcendentally delicious standout in the world of spreads...

While being on the receiving end of a buzzing, pesky winged bug's attentions can prompt minor fits of rage, I feel like if I could control the insect, and make it evoke these sentiments and actions from those who are...

Just wait 'til the next dirty thief who tries to jack my wallet finds out I've got the Wallet TrackR. And a Sap Cap. And an extensive history of kicking people in the shins. About the size of a credit card and connected...

I've slept on my sofa for the past 2-1/2 years. I've even slept in my sleeping bag on my sofa. But until now the two were not a happy combination, as the outsides of sleeping bags are slippery, and the heights of sofas...

How boss will I be when people see me light a stogie with my cufflinks? Never mind that the awe and admiration will be fleeting once my shirt sleeve and, shortly thereafter, entire person also erupts into flame*. A few...

I would describe this Storm Trooper mug as geeky with a side of class. Meaning that I probably wouldn't purchase it for someone who isn't into Star Wars, but I wouldn't feel bad about purchasing it for someone who is...

Nintendo Collector's Edition Monopoly means I get Zelda's Sword! And I plan to use it in a reign of terror against Mario's chump Mushroom and Pikman's brokedown Rocket. I imagine that wily Mario Star and Samus' Helmet...

And I don't mean the kind of airplane trunk Auntie Heloise carries when she travels. The Blackhawk Secretary Trunk, an all-inclusive, roller work station, is quilted in polished aluminum panels held together with exposed...

Each of the 54 cards in Dan & Dave's Ultimate Deck brandishes a unique piece of artwork courtesy of design agency Stranger & Stranger. And yes, most of them are macabre and vaguely disturbing like the Unicorn Head Mask...

If you were wondering whether or not post-apocalyptic society will be integrating text messaging with self-defense, the answer is yes. Thomas Willeford's steampunk keyboard-arm guard combo sports futuristic Victorian...

My first question when Tim Joyce wrote to me about his Dry Goods athletic powder was, "Uh, what's that?" To which he responded, "It's essentially sprayable Gold Bond without the mess." Cool. But of course my second question...

Like the Titanium Utility Ring, Bruce Boone's Titanium Handcuff Ring owns a slot in his Laser Cut Series of jewelry. The mini finger cuff precisely matches a full-size bad (or naughty) guy restraint, and even opens and...

A PC for your wrist. A Cloud bracelet. An unassuming, yet hi-tech piece of jewelry called StormFly. With a much bigger emphasis on the hi-tech than the jewelry part. The StormFly is a self-proclaimed Ludicrous Speed storage...

Taylor Simpson accidentally plowed into a deer with his Knight XV while barreling through Poughkeepsie several months ago and felt so bad about it he swore off driving altogether and converted the slain buck's antlers...

It was between the "Calm down bro. It's P.E. not the Olympics" shirt and the "I try not to laugh at my own jokes but we all know I'm hilarious" shirt. I went with the first one because I figure the second really only...