Alessi Firebird 2.0 Arc Lighter

Posted: September 29, 2020
Alessi Firebird 2.0 Arc Lighter
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Alessi calling this arc lighter the "Firebird 2.0" is like me calling this pool float the "Waterbird 2.0." I mean, I get the fire, but there's nothing bird about the lighter's design. I know it's probably too uncouth for the functional objets d'art Alessi considers itself a master of, but if I were branding this plasma beam spark igniter, I would've gone with "Thor's Cock & Balls Arc Lighter."

The original Alessi Firebird debuted in 1993, as a gas wand lighter. The company decided to reissue what they call this "real pop icon" as an electric version to kindle the phallic flame with a new generation of smokers, candle lighters, incense burners, and perhaps sexual deviants. If you don't feel a spark simply by looking at the Firebird 2.0, you'll definitely feel one when you put it....

Just kidding. Don't do that with the Firebird 2.0, or any arc lighter. 10/10 not recommended.

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