Pet Grooming Tool Attachment for Vacuum Cleaners

Posted: March 11, 2020
Pet Grooming Vacuum
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A pet grooming attachment for the vacuum. Ha! Hahaha! Amidst all the political vitriol, the coronavirus cases and quarantines, the canceled conferences and concerts, the dwindling number of Picard episodes left, I needed a laugh today. And it's not just the concept - using a vacuum cleaner not to clean pet hair off the floor and furniture, but off the actual body of your pet - that's got me rollin', but the grooming tool's photos too. The ones of a person using their vacuum cleaner on a...on a...cat!

A cat!

Now if cats and dogs can agree on one thing, I think it's that they F'ing hate vacuum cleaners. But even dogs who get riled or freaked out when you go to Hoover up their shedding problem might grit their teeth and accept their fate when you hold them down, or otherwise force them to endure a good vacu-grooming. Just like they do at bathtime, at nail clipping time, at vet time, at Shed Defender onesie time. Here they might even ease into the process, enjoying the way the grooming tool's soft rubber comb attachment massages as your Dyson inhales.

But a cat!

If I were somehow able to find my cat Zanzibar after turning on my vacuum, and then somehow able to pull him out of whatever crevice he smooshed himself into, and then somehow able to hold him down without getting my arms shredded a la Wolverine, even then I feel like one touch of that needle-pointed suction brush would have him conjuring the strength of a thousand lions, the speed of a thousand cheetahs, and definitely the hisses of a thousand snakes to shoot the F away from the pet vacuum, and from me, for the rest of ever.

That the cat in the photo above is simply sitting there, resigned to taking it like he lost a bet - as I said, I needed a good laugh today.

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