Gear

Taking Sides Couple's Snack Tray

$85 - $135 Uncommon Goods »

Yes, please, I want a Taking Sides Couple's Snack Tray. My wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power is always stealing my food. And my wine, beer, and cocktails when she invariably sucks hers down first...

The Crushboard Portable Beer Can Crushing Mat

$7.99 - $12.99 Crushboard »

Crushing an empty beer can on your head may be a real crowd-pleaser, but if you're unsuccessful...enjoy the memes and viral videos. And the concussion. But stomping on empty cans to crush them, now that has a much higher...

3D Printed Vaginasaur (NSFW)

$6.99 - $45.99 Etsy »

Be careful, the 3D Printed Vaginasaur definitely eats meat. Etsy shop 10th Dimension 3D calls this prehistoric poon print the "Dino Pussy" and the "Cuntasaurus," but I feel like "Vaginasaur" rolls off the tongue best...

Raspberry Pi Zero 2 W

Raspberry Pi Zero: $5. Raspberry Pi Zero W: $10. Raspberry Pi Zero 2 W: Priceless. Nah, just kidding. It's $15...

Nova Ceramics Travel Mugs

$18.99 - $20.99 Amazon »

As purdy as Nova Ceramics' Travel Mugs are, lookin' all like the ocean surf in all the colors of the rainbow, one thing my household does not need is another mug, ceramic, travel, double-wall insulated, lidded, unlidded...

Dissim Inverted Lighter

$88 Amazon »

The Dissim Inverted Lighter turns the flames of Hell upside down. OK, more like one little flame. And I guess it's not from Hell, it's from butane...

Sports Car Flip Phone

$42.99 Amazon »

Oh yeah, dudes, it's a Sports Car Flip Phone, and it comes fully loaded. Slots for, not one, but two SIM cards. And it can automatically switch between them to support all of your shady Sports Car Flip Phone dealings...

Squid Game Doll Shooting Alarm Clock

Sold Out Amazon »

Red light, green light, wake up! Or prepare for the Squid Game Doll Shooting Alarm Clock to eliminate you. ... OK, she'll just pelt you with a foam bullet, but still. This piece of Squid Game merch might be the creepiest...

Corkcicle Star Wars Insulated Tumblers & Canteens

$29.95 - $39.95 Amazon »

Keep your drinks as cold as Hoth and as hot as Mustafar with Corkcicle's Star Wars series of insulated tumblers and canteens. Released in honor of the 40th anniversary of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, the collection...

Bottle Opener Dog Tags

$14.87 - $17.85 Etsy »

If your dog gets lost wearing a bottle opener dog tag, maybe it's the dog tag's fault. Ol' Gonzo just went out lookin' for a beer and ended up, as my favorite of Firefly Lane Stamping's bottle opener dog tags says, lost...

Squid Game Home Security Camera Concept

While I'm a fan of Netflix's Squid Game series, and fully support the viral craze the twisted kiddie game drama has stirred up, I'm not sure I'd want a Squid Game worker serving as my home security camera. I mean, would...

HiGrade Bud Analyzing Scope & Potency Test Kit

$69.99 Amazon »

The HiGrade bud analyzing scope & potency test kit means business...for your pleasure. A combination of a leaf-friendly microscope smartphone attachment and app-based subscription service, the HiGrade system uses 3 hi-res...

jelbows Gel Rests for Wrists & Elbows

$16.49 - $21.49 Amazon »

They had me at "jelbows." You dudes know me well enough by now to know it doesn't even matter if these gel rests for your wrists and elbows alleviate joint pain and desktop contact soreness for workers, and WFHomers...

Colorful Flames Lighters

$10.99 - $17.99 Etsy »

Colorful Flames called all the colors of the rainbow into the fires of their lighters, and...well...only two of those colors of the rainbow answered. But a lighter that flicks either a green or pink flame is still pretty...

Nokia 6310 20th Anniversary Edition Brick Phone

$80 Nokia »

While the Nokia 6310 has always been a brick phone rather than a flip phone - and you know how I love me some flip phones - Nokia's 2021 upgraded rerelease of this mobile classic still sends my heart aflutter. Dudes...

Retro Camera Foldable Shopping Bag

$11.99 Perpetual Kid »

Say, "Cheese!" And then load up the wedges of Brie, Manchego, and Oregon Blue into your Retro Camera Foldable Shopping Bag. A neat little gift for photographers and the camera-obsessed, this reusable tote collapses and...

Author Clock - Literary Quote Time Display

$109 - $219 Kickstarter »

Word nerds probably thought they had it made when we went from clocks that read 12:00 to clocks that spell out the time in words. But now the Author Clock thumbs its nose at both of thee's, making the hour and its minutes...

TITANER Titanium Folding Pocket Knife

$35.99 - $39.99 Amazon »

A falcon, a dragonfly, and a hummingbird walk into a bar. Actually, they slice into a bar. A big fat Snickers bar. And the Falcon, the Dragonfly, and the Hummingbird, all members of TITANER's Titanium Folding Pocket Knife...

Haxson AirFan - Over-Bed Smart Fan Hybrid

$199 - $209 Haxson »

The Haxon AirFan mounts over your bed to create airflow and cool you off at night, yes, but the smart piece of tech also comes with 19 other built-in functions and features to help improve your quality of sleep. Plus...

OMA K3 Cast Iron Turntable

Girl, put your records on...but don't try to move the record player. The platter alone on OMA's K3 cast iron turntable weighs over 30 pounds...

Red Light Therapy Slipper for Foot Pain

$149.99 - $289.99 Amazon »

Forget Prince Charming, what Cinderella really wants is a pair of red light therapy slippers to ease the immense foot pain she's got from waltzing at balls and trying to sprint home at midnight in damn glass shoes. Hard...

Ark Lite Nebula Projector

$49.99 Amazon »

Yep, the Ark Lite Nebula Projector looks like some real Jodie Foster Contact material. Touch it and you'll almost certainly have a moving experience on an idyllic beach with an alien in the body of a beloved dead relative...

Beetlejuice Airblown Inflatable Car Buddy

$26.95 Amazon »

While I appreciate the idea of a Beetlejuice Inflatable Car Buddy, looking at this Beetlejuice Inflatable Car Buddy from Gemmy makes me wonder: What the Otho Fenlock is that amoebic green half-horseshoe snot mustache...

MechaniCoasters - DIY Kinetic Sculpture Coasters

I definitely wanted a set of MechaniCoasters to appease my fidgety fingers and steampunk penchant, and my wife's naggy inclinations and aversion to anything ring-shaped and wet touching her tables. But then I saw these...