Gear

Hringpoki Guitar Pick

$35 - $145 Etsy »

Joy Complex calls their Hringpoki Guitar Pick a deliberate effort to create "the most unique guitar pick in the world." And also, they admit with unabashed frankness, "the most expensive." Optionally most expensive, I'd...

KardiaMobile Personal EKG Machine

$89 Amazon »

A KardiaMobile Personal EKG Machine might not be the Mother's Day gift Mom was hoping for, but...sorry, Mama, you're over 70 now, so it's the one you're getting. I need to know you're properly monitoring your own health...

The Money Cake - Cash-Filled Cake Topper

$15.99 Amazon »

A fat wad of dough in your birthday cake might not sound appealing at first. But if we're talking double chocolate fudge filled with nuggets of suspended double chocolate cookie dough, or as we see here, a frosted treat...

EyeQue VisionCheck 2 Smartphone Vision Test

$69 - $155 indiegogo »

The VisionCheck 2 is the latest in EyeQue's line of equipment for self-administered, smartphone-conducted refractive error tests. In other words, it's a vision check done entirely by me, myself, my phone, and eye...

Double-Sided Quarter

$10.95 Amazon »

The people who make these double-sided quarters repeatedly refer to it as "real," and I can't really...oh boy, this line is so applicable!...make heads or tails of what they mean by that. What real quarter has both sides...

FOXBOX Pet Safety Car Seat

$510 - $738 Amazon »

Pets are the new kids*, so of course there is FOXBOX Pet Safety Car Seat that uses human infant safety system protocols to boost and protect your dog or cat during car rides. Another of course: the FOXBOX Pet Safety Car...

Pizzas of 8 Shareable Pizza Coin

Chewy hand-tossed dough. Piles of shredded mozzarella, Thick slices of juicy pepperoni. And freshly...minted copper? Hey, who put a coin in my pizza? Or rather, who put a pizza in my coin? Meet the kinda baffling, yet...

Kong Beer Bong

$29.99 Kong Beer Bong »

In addition to my glory years of partying (i.e., any year prior to 2020) the Kong Bong makes me think of Sisqo's enduring lyrical masterpiece, "The Thong Song." A tweak here, a swap there, and it could become "The Kong...

SIND Studio Funny Face Mugs

SIND Studio has a mug - the drinking kind and the face kind - for every expression you wear and emotion you feel before and after you've had your coffee. There's a groggy Yawning Mug (before coffee). A jubilant Laughing...

Toadfish Anchor Non-Tipping Universal Cup Holder

Sold Out Amazon »

Sip with no tip on your ship. Or, if you prefer, sippy with no tippy on your shippy. The Toadfish Anchor is a non-tipping universal cup holder whose most obvious use is to hold your cans, bottles, tumblers, and glassware...

Insta360 GO 2 Thumb-Sized Action Camera

$299.99 Insta360 »

The Insta360 GO 2 action camera will gladly live under your thumb. Or on your forehead. Magnetically clipped to your shirt. Atop the back of your tabby cat or Shiba Inu. Self-described as "the world's smallest action...

LUMI Keys Light-Up Portable Keyboard & Piano Teacher

$299 Lumi »

Chopsticks meets Chopin meets chomp, chomping up alien music notes in a LUMI Keys arcade-style piano tutorial. LUMI Keys is a portable keyboard and piano teacher. It accomplishes the former with a 2-octave digital piano...

Bourbon Nosing Kit

$169 Etsy »

Thumb your nose at the Bourbon Nosing Kit, and the snobbery you think it represents, but train your sniffer to better identify the aromas in your snifter, and you might end up knocking yourself out with the whole new...

Marshall Mode II True Wireless Earbuds

AirPods, Galaxy Buds, Bose QuietComfort - you've all had your turn in the true wireless earbuds spotlight. With their Mode II in-ear Bluetooth headphones, the Marshall audio brand is hoping to turn you all into Jans crying...

The Office Stapler in Jell-O Soap

$21.24 Etsy »

March 24, 2005. A simpler time, when we were younger, life was still normal, business was as usual, and staplers were being congealed inside Jell-O molds in The Office. The doors of Dunder Mifflin opened on our TV sets...

Streamlight KeyMate Key Flashlight

$19.27 Amazon »

The Streamlight KeyMate key flashlight will light up the night like...a little Tinkerbell fairy. But, hey, sometimes all you need is Tink guiding the way if you just need to find the keyhole to your front door at night...

Middle Finger Birthday Glasses

$19.95 - $21.95 Etsy »

I bought one of these middle finger birthday glasses for my father-in-law, who turns 80 - haha, 80, the crusty old fart! - this year. I went with the "I'm 79 + [flipped bird standing in for the number '1']" rocks glass...

Kizer Catshark Non-Locking Folding Knife

$79 Amazon »

Since the only thing scarier than a cat is a shark, clearly Kizer wasn't kitten or finnin' around when they combined the two to name their new pocket knife the Catshark*. It's a non-locking folding knife with the chub...

MovieMaker-Pro - 8mm & Super 8 Reels to Digital

$419.99 Amazon »

All that porn from the 70s you thought you'd never get to watch again! Hot-diggity-dog, the Wolverine Reels2Digital Moviemaker-Pro is here convert your old 8mm and Super 8 movie reels into digital videos! Now you'll be...

Tactical Belt-Mounted Egg Holster

Who needs a Tactical Belt-Mounted Egg Holster? I'll tell you who. Tired of working his cottontail off for weeks decorating eggs in elaborate patterns all the colors of spring, only to have a good third of them break before...

D'CENT Biometric Cryptocurrency Hardware Wallet

$119 Amazon »

Protect all D'CENTS and D'DOLLARS of Bitcoin, Dogecoin, or whatever cryptocurrency you've bought up with this biometric cryptocurrency hardware wallet. The Bluetooth-enabled cold storage device protects your private crypto...

Knuckle Lights

$39.99 Amazon »

Who wants a coupla shiners? From your fists to their eyes, these strap-on Knuckle Lights shine 150-lumen beams into the face of any who cross your path while running, walking, or making your way to a good wee-wee spot...

Amazon Smart Sticky Note Printer

$114.99 Amazon »

The Smart Sticky Note Printer is one of Amazon's first Day 1 Editions concept products, Alexa-compatible gadgets the company is testing out LEGO Ideas-style*. That is, the Smart Sticky Note Printer is available as a pre-order...

LELO F1s Developer's Kit - SDK-Available Sextech

$170.10 LELO »

Geeks have the best sex. Or if they didn't before, LELO's F1s Developer's Kit, a male masturbator with an SDK-available sextech console, is here to make sure they do now. Even if it's all by themselves...