ToastaBags
/boska-holland-toastabags-3628.jpg "Boska Holland Toastabags")
- Canned Unicorn Meat - $16.28
- Conveyor Belt Toaster - $57.99
- 10 lb. Slab of Bacon - $77.50
- 25 lb. Box of White Cheddar Cheese Powder - $387.11
- Stumpy Pete's House of Ham Metal Sign - $13.58
I know at least one person getting Boska Holland's ToastaBags for Father's Day. On the rare occasions my dad is forced to spearhead his own feedings, he likes to make grilled cheese sandwiches. And the way my dad makes grilled cheese sandwiches is he puts two pieces of Wonder Bread in the toaster, then right when they pop up, he grabs them and smashes a slice of American in the middle, hoping the pressure of his palms and strength of his will can diffuse enough heat to melt the cheese. You see, when my mom goes out of town, it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world.
ToastaBags eliminate the need for stove tops, skillets, and desperate compression, yet still dish up perfectly bronzed, gooey, and scrumptious grilled sandwiches. They've been a mainstay in the UK--especially in the UK's pubs, and especially at 1 a.m.--for several years now, but can't truly break into the US until they successfully reverse the hex put on them by the sadistic Burger King and the guy who owns Domino's.
To achieve melted bliss, stuff your favorite slices of bread with cheese, and preferred cheese adherents--ham, bacon, tomatoes, roasted peppers, mustard, Bacon Jam--slide the assembly into a ToastaBag, and drop it into the toaster. About 3 minutes later, an odiferous parcel of crisp, cheesy excellence will ascend, with no crumbs or lactose remnants left caked to the toaster grilles, and nary a dish getting soiled.
Each ToastaBag in this set of 3 has a 50-use lifespan, and may be cleaned in the dishwasher or with warm water. In addition to dads, they are also ideal for children 10 and up, who will be able to fix themselves a quick snack or lunch-on-the-go without filthifying the kitchen, or burning the house down.
DudeIWantThat.com is reader-supported. When you buy through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more.
/xbox-series-s-toaster-62293.jpg?mode=crop "Xbox Series S Toaster")
Xbox Series S Toaster
The PS5 might have been the gift to get for Christmas 2023, but those who have real bread in 2024 are buying the Xbox Series S...Toaster...
/teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-61554.jpg?mode=crop "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Shredder Cheese Grater")
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Shredder Cheese Grater
Graters are typically safer than knives for turning blocks of cheese into shreds, but the Shredder Cheese Grater? I, for one, wouldn't let anyone but a true Ninja Turtle turn my 8-ounce block of cheddar into 2 cups of...
5lb Bag of Kraft Cheese Powder
Sometimes I wonder what I'll do if one day I don't want the Kraft Mac & Cheese my mama or Bob Evans serves me. Like, what if I want Kraft mini wieners* & cheese or Kraft Jet-Puffed Jumbo Mallows & cheese? Or, screw all...
Darth Vader Toaster
Big Bad Toy Store says nothing--nothing!--about its forthcoming breakfast game changer, the Darth Vader Toaster, except this:...
Breakfast Sandwich Maestro
5 minutes to a breakfast sandwich. No drive-thru on earth can beat that...mainly because of the whole leaving the house and driving to the drive-thru portion of the equation. Otherwise I guess most of them could. If there...
Tetris Sandwich Cutter
What can I say about the Tetris sandwich cutter except that it cuts sandwiches into shapes based on the all-time best of all games of all time? UNO can barely crawl out of its little paper carton in the presence of Tetris...
/penis-charcuterie-board-61165.jpg?mode=crop "Penis Charcuterie Board")
Penis Charcuterie Board
No one will be able to beat your meat, or resist your cheese, or help but grab your berries, when you arrange them atop the Penis Charcuterie Board. It's the best reference to genitalia I've seen in a serving tray since...
/18-champion-gifts-for-people-52735.jpg?mode=crop "18 Champion Gifts for People Who Love Breakfast")
18 Champion Gifts for People Who Love Breakfast
If you know someone who champions breakfast (i.e., the most important meal of the day.) If you know someone who's a champion breakfast eater (i.e., won the Baconfest World Bacon Eating Championship.) If you know someone...
Rotimatic Indian Bread Maker
I'm still not even sure what the hell roti is. I thought Indian bread was either naan (mmmmm, chewy) or papadums (mmmmm, crunchy). What's this third formation of dough throwing a wrench into my narrow culinary view of...
/microwave-toaster-60721.jpg?mode=crop "Microwave Toaster")
Microwave Toaster
Confession: I do not own a toaster. Nor do I want to own a toaster. On average, I feel the need to toast bread about 3 times a year. Which is crazy, because I love toasted bread. I order it when I go out to breakfast...
/the-charted-sandwich-board-17639.jpg "The Charted Sandwich Board")
The Charted Sandwich Board
If she's gonna go make you a sammich, you should probably: A) know exactly what kind of sammich you require to avoid receiving, like, hummus & sprouts on gluten-free millet bread; and B) be fully aware of the sammich's...
/bacon-express-crispy-bacon-25681.jpg "Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill")
Bacon Express Crispy Bacon Grill
Whole wheat in the toaster, bacon in the...other toaster, a yank of the iceberg, a slice of the tomato, and mmmm. BLTeee-licious. Without turning on the stove or getting popped in the eye with a grease BB...