Dude's Must See Products for October 2022
October 2022 was full of tricks and treats, but they weren't all related to Halloween. Or at least, not Halloween-specific. Tricks included the Tic Tac Gun (above), Crazy Aaron's Angry Putty, the Puking Regan Bottle Pourer, and the Hip-Fin*. And the treats? Feast your hungry (and horny) eyes on Creature Feet Shoes, the Medusa Bodysuit, and the Assless Yoga Pants.
Note: All must see products for September 2022 are priced as they were at printing on November 1, 2022. Pricing, and availability, are subject to change.
*I now own this product and, yeah, definitely a trick. Both in the sense that it does the trick, and in the sense that it makes me scream every time I use it.
E162: What Is This Thing?
Hints: 1) It's finicky: sometimes it holds tight, other times it pushes away; 2) Use it one way to achieve openness in your household; 3) Use it another to protect areas at risk of injury.
Wooden Steampunk Light Switch Cover
Not sure how much I'd want to swing from the chandelier, but I'd sure like to light it up using one of these Wooden Steampunk Light Switch Covers. I can hear my wife now at our next dinner party: It's time! Get the ladle and ready the wine! Everyone! Napkins on laps! Dude, grab the lever, and hold it tight! Hold! Hold, Dude, hold 'til my cue! ... OK, bread basket is set. Beef Burgundy is in place. ... Now! Flip the lever now!
Presenting the Alphabet: 16 Gifts that Start with A
Presenting the alphabet. It's basically the same as saying "Gifting the alphabet," but has a clever play on words because I'm also presenting you choices of gifts / presents that start with letters of the alphabet. In this case, those gifts start with the letter "A."
And, you guessed it, next time they'll start with the letter "B." All the way up to the letter "Z," so 26 alphabet-themed gift guides in all.
Yeesh. What have I gotten myself into? Am I going to be able to make it all the way to the end? Guess we'll A, B, C.
Enjoy Round 1, at least, 16 gifts that start with A.
The Exorcist Puking Regan Bottle Pourer
Is it weird to say whatever this Exorcist Puking Regan Bottle Pourer is puking up looks delicious? What is that, a Grasshopper cocktail? Maybe some sort of liquid key lime pie? As long as it doesn't taste like the vomit of a young girl possessed by Satan, I'm down to try it.
Crazy Aaron's Angry Putty - Putty That Fights Back
Who's angry? Who wants to get angrier?! Well then, here's Crazy Aaron's Angry Putty, at your service. That's my guess, anyway, because I can't imagine a squeeze, stretch, and fidget toy self-described as "Putty That Fights Back" is going to provide much relief of the stress and anger you'd normally use it for.
Might be a good subversive gift for people you don't like much, though.
Hip-Fin Hip Flexor Release Tool
My hips don't lie...they frickin' hurt. Tight, ropey, maybe not quite ready for Hip-Fin levels of pain to release them, but, hey. If it's agony for minutes and ecstasy for days thereafter, I'm dude enough to take it.
Roof Gutter Cleaning Tool
Cleaning out your roof gutters by hand: more or less gross than scooping out pumpkin guts by hand? This roof gutter cleaning tool does for the unsavory task of removing leaves and gunked-up debris from your roof drainage system what the Pumpkin Scraper Glove does for the unsavory task of hollowing out Halloween jack-o-lanterns.
Creature Feet Shoes
I've never much cared for hoofin' it, especially when I have my friend Cornelius to drive me, but these Creature Feet Shoes are giving the term a whole new and exciting meaning in my world. Not that I'd ever wear what are essentially a pair of heelless high heels, as I can barely keep my balance in flip-flops, but on my wife, She-Ra: Princess of Power? Huzzah!
Unfortunately, there was nothing I could say to convince her to go as a Sexy Goat for Halloween.
Tic Tac Gun
The Tic Tac Gun takes aim at anyone who's eaten the garlic & cheese bread, or drank a whole pot of coffee this morning, and pelts 'em with fresh breath.
Possibly breaking a tooth in the process.
Hey, you can't have fun and fight halitosis risk-free, kids!
Snakes and temptation always seem to go hand-in-hand, and this Medusa Bodysuit is no exception. Sssexy, sssee-through, and ssslithering with ssserpents that maybe will, maybe won't cover up a lady's naughty bitsss, the Thistle and Spire design arrives just in time to make an appearance on Halloween, and always on time to make an appearance in the bedroom.
And, dudes, if she pulls the whole "My eyes are up here" thing in the Medusa Bodysuit, don't forget to remind her that looking into Medusa's eyes is what turns people to stone.
Die Hard Advent Calendar
Yippee Ki Yay, motherfu- uh...dudes, it's a Die Hard Advent Calendar! Leatherhead Laser Work even laser-cut his clever, original countdown design to depict one of the best scenes in the movie: Hans Gruber plummeting to his death from the top of Nakatomi Plaza. Ahhh, really gives you the Christmas feels, doesn't it?
Blamo Adult Animal Onesies
We've seen some silly adult onesies, some sexy adult rompers, and even some wicked adult animal suits in the past, but I can't say we've seen adult onesies like Blamo's before. Adult onesies with animal themes that are, dare I say, stylish? Fashion-forward? Luxe?
Well. They're certainly expensive, anyway.
E164: What Is This Thing?
Hints: 1) It's accepting of all shapes and sizes; 2) It's a straight shooter; 3) You might call it a post-drinking bidet.
Assless Yoga Pants
In a bad situation, I think I'd say the same thing about seeing Assless Yoga Pants as I would about seeing Superman: Here they come to save the daaaaay!
Very unsurprisingly, Assless Yoga Pants come to us from CherryChiChi, the same brand that thrust the yoga sex clothing phenomenon in our faces with Crotchless Yoga Pants. And if you're wondering why we need both Crotchless and Assless Yoga Pants in our yoga practice, well, see, it's because Crotchless Yoga Pants have a giant hole where the crotch would be, whereas Assless Yoga Pants have a giant hole where the ass would be. They're totally different!