2020's 20 Best Gifts for $20 or Less
I put together this list of 2020's 20 best gifts for $20 or less because we humans love having lots of choices.
I also put together this list of 2020's 20 best gifts for $20 or less because I just couldn't pass up the title's juicy alliteration and catchiness.
And finally I put together this list of 2020's 20 best gifts for $20 or less because a lot of us don't have more than $20 to spend on everyone's stinkin' Christmas presents this year.
Hopefully next year I'll be able to do a post on 2021's 21 best gifts for $2,021 or less.
Note: Gift prices are marked as they were at printing. Prices are subject to change.
SpyX Light Hand - Glowing Fingers to Navigate the Dark
I'm not sure "light hand" would be the first superpower I'd pick, but if the gods or, like, the ghost of Thomas Edision, were offering, I sure wouldn't turn it down. No more nightlights or mini flashlights bulking up my keychain required, just a flick of my fingers and...Captain Light Hand to the rescue!
For those intrigued by the potential of wielding light in your hand, you can test out your LED skills with this strap-on Light Hand from SpyX. And by "you," I of course mean your mini yous, since this is technically a toy, and a swell Sneaky McSneakerson gift for kids ages 6 and up.
Gallium - Melts-in-Your-Hand Metal
The chemical element Gallium does not exist in pure form in nature, but since it's so magical and badass looking all solid-to-liquid-at-the-touch-of-a-human-hand and all, of course man figured out a way to extract it from bauxite and zinc ores to use as his personal plaything.
The shiny silver masses begin liquifying at 85.85 degrees F; when held on the palm and spoken to sweetly in iambic pentameter, a hunk of gallium will melt into an oozy yet glistening metallic blob in 5 to 7 minutes.
Hedgehog Dryer Balls
Important Note from hedgehog dryer ball online retailer, HONANK: "These cute hedgehog balls are only suitable for drying, they are not suitable for washing, because they can hardly withstand the number of rotations during washing and get injured." Do you hear that hedgie dryer ball potential buyers? You can tumble and cook your little laundry pets and they'll power through, but swish them, spin them, and get them wet, and you might hurt, or even kill them, you animal sadist!
Ice Scraper Mitts
These Ice Scraper Mitts aren't going to make winter suck any less, but they might do you a favor when it comes to the part of winter that sees you chipping away ice, and clearing the frost and snow off your car's windshield and windows. The mitts are essentially giant, fleece-lined mittens with hard plastic ice scrapers stuck inside. The outside of the mittens are made of a waterproof material, so your working hand stays both warm and dry during use.
An oldie but a goodie! The TV-B-Gone is a handheld device whose single button fires out 230 different turn-off codes capable of powering down nearly every TV in existence. This Adafruit DIY kit makes the payoff even sweeter because users get to solder and assemble the circuitry themselves. Compatible with both North America/Asia and Europe/UK televisions, TV-B-Gone will zap anything from screens on walls full of TVs blaring with ads and talking heads to those droning in restaurants, zombifying your family and monopolizing your quality time together.
Star Wars Lightsaber Spatula Set
The Star Wars Lightsaber Spatula Set represents both classic geekery and classy geekery. What cook, Star Wars fan or not, wouldn't want a pair of sleek and modern black & white spatulas with subtle, almost sexy, lightsaber hilt handles decorating their sauce pans and mixing bowls? This is one gift for the kitchen sure to hit a proton-torpedo-in-the-main-reactor-of-the-Death-Star bullseye with the whole fam damily.
Little Book of Butts (NSFW)
Disclaimer: The contents within the Little Book of Butts do not necessarily reflect the release's title. In fact, its pages seem to be having trouble containing some of the voluptuous tailbone explosions it spotlights. The effect makes me want to create an entire playlist of songs about butts to listen to as I flip through the Little Book of Butts' 192 glossy full-color and black-and-white pages. Obviously this would begin with "Baby Got Back", followed by "Fat Bottomed Girls". Additional selections would include: "Back That Ass Up"; "Bootylicious" (by Beyonce, who should have a centerfold in the Little Book of Butts); "Big Ole Butt" by LL Cool J; "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"; and "Rump Shaker". By Wreckx-N-Effect. With the lyrical highlight, "Now since you got the body of the year, come and get the award - here's a hint, it's like a long sharp sword."
The Golden Girls Cookbook
Oh boy, Golden Girls Cookbook, I can't wait for my wife to make me some treats from St. Olaf! "Oooh, what's this delectable baked goodness, my darling She-Ra: Princess of Power?"
"Lindstrom Surprise, my darling Dude."
"Mmm, it's...blech, blech, gag! It's disgusting!"
"I know. Rose Nylund is famous for her Lindstrom Surprise. It's herring pie. The surprise is you think it's pie - like apple - but when you bite into it, it's herring! Tomorrow I'll make you some Sperhuven Krispies."
Spyderco BaliYo Hand-Eye Coordination Pen
Spyderco's BaliYo is a ballpoint pen with a twist. And a flip. A spin. A full-on aerial show to put on once you've developed your hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills, and learned to master this dual-use writing instrument.
If using pens to doodle and write in cursive isn't enough for you, or if you're like me and have no talent for doodling and writing in cursive, the BaliYo butterflies open on its non-ink end to reveal a pair of 180-degree rotating arms on pivots attached to the pen's barrel. The position of the pivots, plus finger-pad-friendly depressions at the ends of the arms give fidgeters free rein over pen swings, circles, and twirls.
Well, it's no recliner. And it's no foot massage. And it's no having a lady wash your feet and cut your toenails and cuticles as you sit in one of those vibrating chairs at a nail salon...uh...so I've heard.... But the Foot Hammock isn't a bad everyday substitute for more cumbersome, more expensive, and less at-your-desk appropriate forms of taking a load off. Plus, it's a tiny, adorable little hammock. For your feet.
Cuisinart Butter Wheel
Behold a land o' lakes of butter, and the Cuisinart Butter Wheel ready to turn through it proud as Mary, so you can slather the melted gold inside onto bread, buns, baguettes, and dinner rolls for grilling or griddling. And sweet summer corn on the cob for devouring by the dozen.
Made of stainless steel, the Butter Wheel is designed for both indoor and outdoor use, in the kitchen on the griddle, or in the backyard on the grill. To prep, place 2 to 3 sticks of cubed butter in the tray, and the tray on a warm flattop or grate to let it melt. Then sit the Butter Wheel rods into the tray's holsters, and hold a piece of bread, or your favorite food that needs a douse of butter, gently against it. As you rotate the wheel, it collects the liquid fat in its perforations, and spreads a smooth and even coating of it across your food.
What Now Bitch? T-Rex Coffee Mug
The expression of pure joy on the What Now Bitch? T-Rex's face probably brings me more joy than the mug's sentiment itself.
But a T-Rex roaring, "What now bitch?" while holding a set of grabbers like the ones I gave my Nana when she got too old to reach high or bend low still brings me a good amount of joy on its own.
STRIX RHK-1 Mini OTF Pocket Knife
Just the tip. I promise. This itty bitty OTF pocket knife features replaceable #11 hobby blades that juuuust peek out from its 1.8" frame. The keychain-ready piece of EDC weighs a total of 10 grams.
HappyPo Easy-Bidet - Portable, Squeezable Bidet
I know, I know, the HappyPo Easy-Bidet comes with an air-dry requirement, but hey, it's better than using your clothes to wipe. Or following the "Diarrhea" song's advice of, "When you're sittin' on the john and the toilet paper's gone, be a man, use your hand, diarrhea!"
Plus, you could always use a washcloth or hand towel to dry off after you squeeze 'n' squirt to get cleaned up down there.
100 Side Hustles
In 100 Side Hustles: Unexpected Ideas for Making Extra Money Without Quitting Your Day Job author Chris Guillebeau amasses a cool century of his best ideas - and by "his best ideas" I mean other people's ideas that have brought them their own success - for launching businesses you can run even as you continue to grind it out at the career / gig / despised menial labor job that currently serves as your primary source of income. Some side hustles, such as becoming an urban tour guide or selling your sloth dough crafts on Etsy, might earn you just a little extra cash, but a lot of joy. Others, such as the Mommee Coffee brand for pregnant and breast-feeding moms, could end up hauling in $30,000 a month, and outshine the day job altogether.
Fire-Breathing Dragon Steam Release Diverter
You might think this fire-breathing dragon steam release diverter has a fairly narrow buyer / gift recipient pool of people who own pressure cookers and instant pots. But...well, yeah OK, in thinking that you'd be right. I only have a rice cooker, and while it does emit steam, it doesn't have a little chimney pipe sticking out to conduct it like your fancier water-vapor-spewing kitchen gadgets.
So the fire-breathing dragon steam release diverter is definitely specific to pressure cooker and instant pot owners. And further specific to pressure cooker and instant pot owners who are concerned the steam their pressure cookers and instant pots emit will waft all willy-nilly into kitchen walls and wood cabinets where it could create staining and damage. And beyond that, these pressure cooker and multi-pot owners have to like dragons.
Pint of Cinnabon Frosting
If the holidays are good for anything, they're good for grabbing a spoon and a pint of Cinnabon Signature Frosting, and digging in with no regrets. The most wonderful time of the year? Psshhh. Not a chance, but 30 minutes from now I'll be catatonic in a sugar coma, and feeling so good I won't care.
At least until 30 minutes after that, at which point I'll be wrapped around the toilet bowl puking up an entire pint of Cinnabon Signature Frosting.
Although, unlike tequila or bad sushi, Cinnabon Signature Frosting will probably taste nearly as good coming up as it did going down.
Mindcrushers Ridiculous Conversation Cards
Mindcrushers isn't just a set of Ridiculous Conversation Cards, it's a set of Ridiculous Conversation Cards created by 2 of the creators of another beloved set of ridiculous cards: the ones Against Humanity. Further, these outlandish hypothetical questions, conundrums, Would you rather? scenarios, and thought-provoking (i.e., funny / weird / dirty) discussion setups do not require players to be seated together at a table. Or even seated, or even together at all.
Heroes' Feast: The Official D&D Cookbook
When I first saw Heroes' Feast: The Official D&D Cookbook, I kind of laughed and muttered to myself, Here's your gift for the geeks this year, dudes. But then I remembered I just saw Ronda Rousey on Hot Ones, and Sean Evans asked her about Dungeons & Dragons, what's so special about it.
Um, apparently she's a fan. And she spent a minute-plus huffing and puffing and waxing poetic (well, the first two from the hot sauce challenge) about the escape D&D provides, what a welcoming and supportive community players new and old find there, etc., etc.
And so I'd like to reconsider my laugh and muttering about The Official D&D Cookbook. Because another thing I learned Ronda Rousey is a fan of on Hot Ones is taking out elbows. And I think she might snap mine backwards if she heard me dissing Heroes' Feast.
Bolt Integrated Titanium Toothpick
Ain't no chewed-up Cheetos or strands of pulled pork getting stuck in my molars with a bolt integrated titanium toothpick on the prowl. Oh, they might they've found an undetectable safe house, but they have no idea what's coming when I slide my thumb across that shiny metal button and start digging. No crevice, no crater left unsearched.
And if your teeth are preternaturally clean and clear? You can clip the bolt integrated titanium toothpick to your keychain and keep it on hand for fine tool and emergency use. Depressing those tiny embedded reset buttons on electronics. Digging some gunk out of the channels in your steering wheel. Using your junk mail to create a dot matrix, or some braille. Poking an attacker's eyes out....