Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer
Hey. Dude. Never before has there existed a more Dudeworthy shoe than the Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer. Piece by piece, I am going to break down this footwear, and tell you why.
First, there's, "Hey." The shoe's greeting to me. It's perhaps not the most polite way to obtain my attention, but that's cool, I'm no princess.
Then we have "Dude." Mine own name in the brand's title. No further explanation required.
"Wally" is next, and while that may not seem so obvious to many of you, the name "Wally" holds a special place in my heart. It is the name I would bestow upon the son I neither have nor ever want.
"Stretch." These shoes stretch! Like all my favorite clothing, particularly the waistbands of my pants since the holidays. And it's key here, because while clothing manufacturers seem to truly appreciate the importance of an expandable wardrobe, shoe manufacturers often neglect it. But you sit down and eat a dozen Crunchy Tacos Supreme from the Bell, and then try to stand back up a half hour later, and see if your feet haven't salt-swollen up over the edges of your shoes. Hell yeah, I want a pair with stretch!
And finally, there's "Loafer." Both the type of shoe the Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafer is, and the type of man I, who will soon be wearing a pair of Hey Dude Wally Stretch Loafers, am too.
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